Korean Job Discussion Forums

[chronicpride]

One thing that I love about Korea and Koreans, is the prevalence of food within their language, for expressing thanks, respect, and appreciation.

I had to laugh on the KTX one time, when I was sitting to the left of an old traditional halmeoni, and to her right was a random Korean businessman younger than her.

I was dozing and I wake up to her plopping an orange on my lap. I look up and see her Korean motherly look that comes off as 'don't even think about saying no to me. Eat it.'. I insa her and give my thanks and obediently eat her gift. She looks over to the Korean guy and does the same. No words. Just the plop of the orange on the lap. He does the proud Korean physical routine of 'no, no', and gives the orange back, and they do the unspoken back and forth with the orange, until she asserts her status by grabbing his hands and forcing him to take it.

Or the time that I go visit my girlfriend's mother at the hospital, at 10pm at night. I bring a well-wishing gift and sit down with my girlfriend next to the hospital bed. The next 10 minutes of Korean conversation centered around the mother's appreciation of me coming, and the expressions of food and eating, as a show of thanks. 'Did you eat?', 'When did you eat?', 'What did you eat?', 'Here, let me peel this apple for you. Eat it. Eat it!' 'Please continue to eat it.', 'Ok, go to a restaurant and eat and come back.', 'Please go.', 'I don't care if it's 10pm and you already ate dinner, please go eat something.', 'Don't come back, unless you've eaten something.' Reluctantly, we go eat and come back. 'Did you eat?', 'Was it enough?', 'Are you sure?'. We say our goodbyes and walk down the hall. The bedridden mother actually gets up out of her bed, comes to her door, and calls out to us, 'Please make sure he eats something'.

At this point, I'm almost in stitches, as I'm trying not to take the situation too literally, but my girlfriend and I share a good laugh later, as she explains that this is not uncommon to express respect through the incessant insistance of food and eating.

Sorry, just a random observation that's going in my blog, but I felt that there might be other similar observations out there, maybe worth sharing.

[cheem]

One thing to look out for, especially if you're eating with the grandma or grandpa, is to eat your rice clean, and I mean every single grain from the bowl. It's okay to leave like half if you're not hungry, but apparently leaving little bits stuck to the bowl here and there is considered disrespectful.

You probably know this already, but many of these food things can be linked to the food shortages during the 60s.

[chronicpride]

Yeah, re: rice.

Also, you ever seen Korean people pour water into the empty or near-empty rice bowl, swirl it around, and drink it? That's a nice touch, too. Probably to avoid the disrespect thing that you mentioned.

[riley]

Thanks for saying that OP. I have been having the same situation with my girlfriend's mother. No matter what state of being she is in, everything is dropped to make sure I have eaten enough. It's both uncomfortable in some ways and humorous.

[Kain067]

big story on this.

first of all, yes, it's based around the past starvations of this country. a lot is. like eating stomachs and backbones, for example. but it has spread into their consciousness. koreans dont ask, how's it going? they ask, have you eaten yet? but it means the same thing.

got in an argument with a korean girl a while ago, and i think she still harbors a real doosy of an ohsokorean grudge against me. but shes a bit of an emotional floosy herself, and she holds grudges against many, many things. anyway.

im eating at my boss's apartment. his wife and the coworkers are eating too. the food is great. bulgogi, glass noodles, soup, little fried appetizer dealies, the whole shebang. i dig in. then up comes the rice, AFTER we have all eaten a deal. so i toss a little kimchi on top for flavor and take a spoon or two. leave the rest. see, i think rice is like eating paper, or drinking water. you dont like it, you dont not like it. it is so flavorless, its just filler. how can filler be the basis for so many people's cuisines worldwide? anyway i leave it.

sense a bit of something in the room (despite chronic attacking my abilities on this front, or his perceptions of them, i am actually incredibly adept at it). so i ask a girl later. sure enough, the coworkers (NEVER the host, him and his wife are amazingly western, she works for my uncle in Samsung, long story) were offended, or scared of the host being offended, same thing, that i didnt finish my rice. this is the next day at a bar by the way.

so i, in a completely jovial, larry david-esque fashion, decide to friendly argue her up a bit. i say, rice is filler. everybody makes it the same way! why would i want to eat tasteless filler when i have so much DAMN GOOD cooking in front of me! i would actually be INSULTING the host if i DID eat my rice! it would be like saying, the things that require good skillful cooking to be good, you suck at, so im gonna chow down on this bland rice here, which even you cant possibly screw up. now that's what i call offensive, not some damn tradition.

well that was the entirety of my argument. no jabs, nothing. but this was enough to set the koreans over the edge. some quotes that i received that night:
"the west is based on logic. korea is based on emotion"
"you are in korea, breathing korean air. you do as koreans"
"its tradition. its the way our mothers teach us"

west based on logic. korea based on emotion. then why are we even ARGUING? why do we even open our mouths besides to cry for mother's tit? that's logic! well anyway...

[chronicpride]

OMFG

[dulouz]

I think every grandma tries to feed everyone.

[dg611]

And the result is that for the past 8 years in Korea, I have been fighting to remove the 40 kilos that I added within the first couple of years. My problems is, I just keep eating what they give me....and it is really a vicious circle because the bigger you are the more food the older ladies want to shower upon you.

My mother in law has become really confused....she alternatively tells me to lose weight at the same time she is refilling my empty rice bowl.

JUST SAY "NO"!!