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Significant others.......

 
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charlottematt2



Joined: 22 Sep 2004

PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2004 4:13 pm    Post subject: Significant others....... Reply with quote

When I first lived overseas, I was surprised at the number of foreign men who were either married to or dating nationals.

In Thailand, this was especially prevalent. I am wondering if such is the case in South Korea?

Has anyone had experience in a serious cross-cultural relationship while teaching ESL in Korea? Willing to share? I realize that the language barrier (assuming they do not speak much, if any, English) can often times be larger than the cultural barrier. On this side of the globe such a love interest looks romantic and exciting, but I am certain on the other side of the big pond the same issues which plague relationships here exist there - and the manifestations may be stronger because of the language and cultural differences.

I have also heard that these relationships have a high rate of failure not only due to the above mentioned, but also because some westerners (men especially) carry their western emotional baggage and past relational disasters into the life of an unknowing and naive national. Thoughts would be appreciated.

I apologize in advance if this is not the most appropriate place on the site to post this type of message. I was not certain where else to post it.

charlottematt2
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Rather_Dashing



Joined: 07 Sep 2004

PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2004 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You see that "search" button at the top of your screen? Use it to browse these forums. There are tons of threads on the subject.

In a nutshell, many ESL teachers get into relationships (I would say the vast majority of them) with Korean natives, including serious relationships. And many get married.
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coolsage



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: The overcast afternoon of the soul

PostPosted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 8:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dashing, don't slag the woman off like that; you got off the boat, what, a month ago? And Charlotte, I believe that you're the one who PM'd me about religion in schools. I stand by my beliefs about keeping the church out of school. (You can see what the result is in Iraq, for example.) But your current question is about intercultural marriage. Yes, if it were not already difficult enough for men and women to get together successfully, add the cross-cultural ingredient to the menu, and the meal can be a disaster. I've had friends in Korea who have hooked up with Korean brides, and the failure rate is high. Myself, I married a Thai woman almost five years ago, and keeping that happening is serious work on a daily basis. No, I didn't marry her in order to discuss Plato or Sartre with her; I like to think that there are other people in my life who fulfill that function. What she does for me is to bring that ineffable beauty into my life, the art, the music that awakens my soul, simply by the way she moves, the way she looks at me, not to mention her mastery of poaching duck eggs. Yes, it's work, but it's good work, and I hope I never get laid off. Good night, and may your god go with you.
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canuckistan
Mod Team
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Joined: 17 Jun 2003
Location: Training future GS competitors.....

PostPosted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 8:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

coolsage wrote:
Dashing, don't slag the woman off like that; you got off the boat, what, a month ago? And Charlotte, I believe that you're the one who PM'd me about religion in schools. I stand by my beliefs about keeping the church out of school. (You can see what the result is in Iraq, for example.) But your current question is about intercultural marriage. Yes, if it were not already difficult enough for men and women to get together successfully, add the cross-cultural ingredient to the menu, and the meal can be a disaster. I've had friends in Korea who have hooked up with Korean brides, and the failure rate is high. Myself, I married a Thai woman almost five years ago, and keeping that happening is serious work on a daily basis. No, I didn't marry her in order to discuss Plato or Sartre with her; I like to think that there are other people in my life who fulfill that function. What she does for me is to bring that ineffable beauty into my life, the art, the music that awakens my soul, simply by the way she moves, the way she looks at me, not to mention her mastery of poaching duck eggs. Yes, it's work, but it's good work, and I hope I never get laid off. Good night, and may your god go with you.


Ha ha, great post!
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kiwiboy_nz_99



Joined: 05 Jul 2003
Location: ...Enlightenment...

PostPosted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 8:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I have also heard that these relationships have a high rate of failure not only due to the above mentioned, but also because some westerners (men especially) carry their western emotional baggage and past relational disasters into the life of an unknowing and naive national. Thoughts would be appreciated.

My thoughts are that this is wrong. Men don't corner the market in carrying emotional baggage.
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