Korean Job Discussion Forums

lighthouse1971 · Joined: 22 Jan 2003 Location: Seoul

I'm a bit of a purist when it comes to this one. Dating an adult student (regardless of where you teach) is unethical. It is neither illegal nor particularly immoral if they are of consentual age, but it wreaks havoc with teacher-student ethics.

You are in a position of influence. To take advantage of that is a bit shady. If they are no longer at your school...well...that's a grey area.

I'd never say never, but I've had opportunities and passed them up.

Rand Al Thor · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Location: Locked in an epic struggle

I dont' think it is a good idea...

it is easy enough to get dates elsewhere. It will get around the school, other students and teachers will talk. But if you do it, that's your choice just try to be discreet.

elmer · Joined: 04 Feb 2003 Location: cowtown

Dating your OWN students can be dicey. An old coworker of mine did it and it ended up too uncomfortable and so they switched classes at some point.

As for me, I dated a student at the same school and it worked out quite well I'd say, I married him! He did quit the school after our relationship became more serious. Oops for the school, but good for me. hehe

Harpeau · Joined: 01 Feb 2003 Location: Coquitlam, BC

If the teacher has the power to give a grade to that individual- then I would definitlely say don't do it. It's an unethical use of power. Question: would that student be interested in you if there wasn't an A+ carrot hanging over their head?

Harpeau

Hotuk · Joined: 10 Jan 2003

Korean students are too competitive/jealous of your attentions, and could react in a negative way if/when they discover their classmate is your love interest. There are political and group dynamic issues in Korean classrooms that teachers are barely if at all aware of. This is especially the case with adult students.

Dan · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Sunny Glendale, CA

why not, 95% of all other eligible teachers do it. a fun exercise is to try and see how many you can date at once and not get caught by the other ones

The Great Wall of Whiner · Joined: 24 Jan 2003 Location: Middle Land

I do not understand the big ethical debate here.

Yes, if you grade them, there "could" be some problem.

But if not, why not?

If someone can explain the ethical part....

Sure, if your student has barely passed entered puebery, there could be a MAJOR probelm, but otherwise...

Two adults...consenting.....everyone else butt out!

Hank Scorpio · Joined: 18 Jan 2003 Location: Ann Arbor, MI

I think it's a bad, bad practice.

I have two hard and fast rules at work; no screwing around with coworkers, and no student romances.

Yeah, you can cite numerous examples of why there's nothing wrong with it, and how it's worked out well for others. It doesn't make any difference to me, it still seems like sh***ing where you eat.

Bad business, people.

kim jong il · Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2003 10:11 am Post subject:

of course it's not unethical. if it were, would so many of us god-fearing teachers be doing it?

RR · Joined: 28 Jan 2003

Not only should one not date one's students, one should not date students at one's school. Legally a student (now this is in the US, not Korea, and is based on a legal workshop I attended where this very subject was brought up) could bring a case (civil) against a teacher who had relations with any student in the school. The student would also have a case against the school, thus most schools adopt a no sleeping with any of the students policy.

The ethical reason is simple. As a teacher you are in a postion of authority over the student. As the student's teacher this is clear, but what about if the student is not actually in your classes. Well, and this is the legal arguement, you are still a faculty member at that school, you know other teachers, could possible assist in recommendations or scholarships, etc.. etc..

Of course Korea is not the USA, and certainly not enlightened as much on the women's rights issues of the day to inlcude sexual harasment, but I think you can see that it would not be a good idea, at all.

RR

Derrek · Joined: 15 Jan 2003

Do yourself a favor and don't do it. Better to make friends with another teacher at a different school and date their students. Also, don't date coworkers either. I did, and it ruined my life here to some extent. Work is not fun now.

These women are cold and calculating.... I don't trust them.

RR · Joined: 28 Jan 2003

Only these women??? Wink

shawner88 · Joined: 01 Feb 2003

What's life for if you can't have a little fun?

Laughing

sparkx · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: thekimchipot.com

It turns my stomach to think about this topic. I for one am bombarded by inuendos and flirtations on a daily basis but shrug them off because it's just too easy and could cause so many unnecessary problems in my class. There is a guy in my school - that anyone on this board would coin a 'loser' - that gives a 110% effort to date as many of his students as possible. He constantly asks out women during class and meets with groups of them on Friday nights. Come Monday he comes to school all smug "complaining" that girls are fighting over him and calling him all the time. By the way, he is also the type that could NEVER score a girl back home...I just prefer to take the moral highground on this one and keep my soul intact. I just think that it would be too easy to become dillusional and completely loose your footing when it comes to dating real women.