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captain kirk
Joined: 29 Jan 2003
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Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2005 10:20 pm Post subject: Korea toughens you |
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This is the gift of the K'rean experience. So I'm converted (the going is tough). I don't need to whine at length about why it's difficult. Because some well adjusted apologists (supposedly) could then prance in and kibosh the whole list of 'complaints'. Happens all the time.
But I will say that the last contract had the same tilted board that's 'living in K'. You get used to it, or slide back home (or stay and whine). Eventually, though, you stop and it stops. Like you ask a question, 'so who do you think YOU are?'. Instead of being bent under the assailing arrows, taking cover. Turning it around.
Back home I discovered just how much K has toughened me. By toughened I mean 'I'm the only friend I've got'. Nobody can mess with the friend I've got (me). Living in K 'did that to me'. It took some time, some wobbling, but particularly that ultimate angry act (directed at self) is no longer tolerated (depression). The slightest intimation of it and I squash the bug. I used to wallow, a young, sort of romantic dallying with dark secrets (read holes, pits). Like Edgar Allen Poe looking into the empty sockets of a skull and thinking there's a 'wisdom' in morbidity. Since it's not 'light' (read shallow) like 'levity'.
Back home I discover how the 'self-confidence forge' of K has fused myself with myself encountering 'the dysfunctional family'. I'm, the old story has been, the black sheep. Compared to Korea, this is the core, like when Yoda sends Luke into the cave to meet the apparition of his father, who's Darth Vadar...except behind the mask is...himself. The core that goes one way, or the other. Conquers you, or you conquer it.
There are miles of 'reasons' and 'experience' among family members 'why' I'm the bad guy. And rolls of 'tapes' that roll on attempting to tangle this story into place, since it's 'history', and written by the victors.
But this time, after being in K almost eight years, the amassed 'evidence' doesn't work on me anymore. Family members are having to retreat confronted with unassailable self-respect. In K, re; self-respect, it's sink or swim. I'm impressed that the 'K experience' can forge a divided self into a unified 'sword' to cut through what once bound one.
And with that sword, peace. |
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kimchikowboy

Joined: 24 Jan 2003
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Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2005 10:28 pm Post subject: |
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3:35 p.m. on a Tuesday. A little early to be that hammered, isn't it, Captain?  |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2005 10:34 pm Post subject: |
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Great post- I totally agree. It happens quicker with some than others- but i have to say every teacher I've watched go through a year here comes out of it that bit sharper.
Its for a whole host of reasons: that koreans will push you until you have to become more vocal in standing up for what you want to do etc. When I first arrived here 2.5 years back, I was depressed a lot, would wallow in negative thinking too much...would go out of my way a bit too much to please Koreans and appear as a sensitive cultural explorer...etc.
No longer..I am rarely depressed..speak my mind a whole lot more, stick to my own agenda.
I'm also a lot more wary and prepared than before- to handle common situations that present a challenge to the newbie.
At the same time I try to strike a balance- and not become too cynical and armor-plated. Its a fine line to tread. |
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eamo

Joined: 08 Mar 2003 Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.
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Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2005 11:18 pm Post subject: |
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I've grown a lot in my 4 years in Korea.
Great post Captain. |
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phaedrus

Joined: 13 Nov 2003 Location: I'm comin' to get ya.
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Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2005 11:35 pm Post subject: |
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rapier wrote: |
At the same time I try to strike a balance- and not become too cynical and armor-plated. Its a fine line to tread. |
Ha ha ha!! What did you do with the real rapier?
I hear you, man. Korea is a great learning experience, especially for someone like me that was a bit too passive back home. |
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Real Reality
Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2005 12:01 am Post subject: |
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Is tough better?
Does Korea make you a better human being? |
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hypnotist

Joined: 04 Dec 2004 Location: I wish I were a sock
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Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2005 12:43 am Post subject: |
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Isn't this just growing up? </cynical> |
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David76
Joined: 15 Jun 2003 Location: U.S.
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Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2005 3:43 am Post subject: |
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Maybe you should make some changes; find a better school to work at. Korea is much easier for me than life in the "real world" back home! In many ways previous life experience more than prepared me for living and working in South Korea. Where are you from? It seems like it might be a great place!
You no longer choose depression? Good for you, you ******! Depression is a disease and not a matter of an attitude adjustment.
If you have spent almost 8 years in Korea, it seems likely you are at least 29 or 30. Good on you for having found some self-reliance, but was this a sudden realization that just hit you? |
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rawiri

Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Location: Lovely day for a fire drill.
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Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2005 3:58 am Post subject: |
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[quote="David76"]
You no longer choose depression? Good for you, you ******! Depression is a disease and not a matter of an attitude adjustment.
?[/quote]
I don't know...it's easy to get bogged down with negativity in this country...many find a way out in the bottle...sure...that offers a short term solution but ultimatley the cure ends up worse than the disease.
To survive here for 8 years and remain at peace with yourself is an achievement in itself...it shows strength of character...sure depression is a disease...so is obesity...in many case's both of these can be cured by an attitude adjustment...i.e goal setting/healthy eating/exercise.
I'm a fan of the captain...his posts offer sage advice written in a unique style...i find i agree with a lot he says and he says it in a syle i could only wish to emulate. Case in point....had i written his post it would probably have consisted of something along the lines of "Harden up soft cock ( that being the alternative word for rooster beginning with c and ending with k) with a possible smattering of "go hard or go home" threown in for good measure. |
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David76
Joined: 15 Jun 2003 Location: U.S.
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Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2005 4:46 am Post subject: |
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Quote: |
I don't know...it's easy to get bogged down with negativity in this country... |
I work 30 hours a week (no mornings!), make an above-average amount of money, do not have to spend time stuck in traffic as I have next to no need for a car, have a relatively simple life, and can go out my door and explore a new place/culture. Gosh, that really sucks, but I guess I should spend more time than I do reading negative comments on these boards.
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many find a way out in the bottle...sure...that offers a short term solution but ultimatley the cure ends up worse than the disease. |
And. . . ?
I think doing any kind of a job for 8 years is an accomplishment, but does the original poster seem at peace with him or herself?
Quote: |
sure depression is a disease...so is obesity...in many case's both of these can be cured by an attitude adjustment...i.e goal setting/healthy eating/exercise. |
What if one has had goals, worked out regularly, and eaten a healthy diet for most of one's life? What then? More medical advice, please! |
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kermo

Joined: 01 Sep 2004 Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.
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Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2005 4:48 am Post subject: |
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I think I'm likely to go a little soft here in Korea, actually. It certainly occurred to me that I'm spoiled as my co-teacher brought me tea, and a grade 4 girl spontaneously gave me a rather good shoulder massage. Classroom teachers with my experience and education have a much harder slog back in my native country, and take home far less pay.
Maybe they can buy cream cheese at the supermarket, or buy shoes in their size, and I envy them a little, but despite the isolation, language and culture barriers, and unappealling (to this vegetarian) food, I feel utterly blessed to be just where I am.
And by the way, depression is simply a symptom. Some people find they can adjust their attitudes and find relief, and others have cerebral juices that simply won't cooperate. Few of us are qualified to judge others in this respect. |
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The Great Toad
Joined: 12 Jun 2004
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Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2005 11:40 am Post subject: |
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No yer all wrong ... "
And the nights keep gettin colder and the saddles gettin harder I'm much too young to be feelin this dam old." "And the rifles in California and the Hell Hounds Left without me. I'm out of the tropics and my hearts just stays so cold."(Garth Brooks Song Messed UP by me)
Time wears on and with stability one can grow imagined faith that life is won and settled, the truth is life was dammed from the start and the most perfect and accomplished hero or monster can be shot down in a moment: Greg LeMond, Christopher Superman, and even me. It's good to see you've come to a positive outlook on your life and please continue to be an examined and hopeful fellow, however I disagree with your assessment of depression. To me the world is a very sad place and it does not seem to be getting any better, its all going to go down in flames and I just cant see it going on for another fifty years some guy or state will start a war the whole earth's economy will fall and anarchy will ensue, then everywhere will be like the Mad Max movie. I'll probably lose my job and have to eat fish heads, kim chi, and rice to survive. The world book market will collapse and I'll never publish my very bad writings. So ahh I don't see much hope for this material world or this temporal existence, rather it's a well invested or mostly wasted proving ground for the next... anyhow I can't write more as I need to check the celebrity news in hopes of some cheerful words |
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gochubandit

Joined: 29 Jul 2004 Location: under your bed... with a marker
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Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2005 11:48 am Post subject: |
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Quote: |
Quote:
I don't know...it's easy to get bogged down with negativity in this country...
I work 30 hours a week (no mornings!), make an above-average amount of money, do not have to spend time stuck in traffic as I have next to no need for a car, have a relatively simple life, and can go out my door and explore a new place/culture. Gosh, that really sucks, but I guess I should spend more time than I do reading negative comments on these boards.
Quote:
many find a way out in the bottle...sure...that offers a short term solution but ultimatley the cure ends up worse than the disease.
And. . . ?
I think doing any kind of a job for 8 years is an accomplishment, but does the original poster seem at peace with him or herself?
Quote:
sure depression is a disease...so is obesity...in many case's both of these can be cured by an attitude adjustment...i.e goal setting/healthy eating/exercise.
What if one has had goals, worked out regularly, and eaten a healthy diet for most of one's life? What then? More medical advice, please! |
whoa relax. CK's just being poetic, that's all. he raises a good point tho. being away from home in a foreign country (like leaving home for college) really helps u learn a lot about urself. it takes u out of ur comfort zone and u get to really find out what ur made of. some ppl chicken out and move back; others find solace at the bottom of a bottle of chamisul; still others find that, after fighting so many uphill battles with the culture shock, shifty hagwon owners, racism, etc., realize that , although perhaps embittered in the process, ur a lot stronger than u thought u were, giving u a certain self-confidence in ur ability to survive in a foreign, and sometimes hostile, environment.
i wouldn't try to piss him off either. he makes boomerangs dude. u could be shopping in dongdaemun for some fake guccis and get clocked in the head.  |
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captain kirk
Joined: 29 Jan 2003
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Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2005 8:28 pm Post subject: |
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Real Reality; 'Is tough better?', and 'Does K make you a better person?'.
By tough I mean not aggressive, egoistical tough. Unilaterally stable tough. And not necessarily 'at peace with oneself'. That's different. By 'tough' I mean able to endure, like a desert tortoise, or a husky sleeping in the snow. But not so much physical/animal endurance.
Just about 'well, am I ok' and the answer is always, has got to be, 'yes'.
One can't jibber jabber about this and that, relieve oneself, the tension that results from misunderstandings, conflicts, lots of them 'culture gaps'. In K one is just there, at least at the school, as a sort of 'talking dictionary', but with character. The school admin tend to absorb effort but in a 'clammish' way. And with 'face' so important, at least among K'reans, the foreigner is a handy chute to ascribe error to. With no-one to blab to, tensely, in a sort of human way one's used to back home (about one's 'feelings') any jarring is shunted off (like off the shell of a tortoise, or the way a husky sleeps in the snow).
What Real Reality I think is pointing to is 'is this good?'. This kind of shrugging off. I think yes. As long as it's shrugged off and not repressed. For it to be shrugged I, personally, engage in a lot of 'thrill seeking' activities in K. That do not involve the churning of my mind. Like motorcycling, woods rambling, and yes, boomerangs.
Hitting the bottle is a popular diversion for teacherers, and I can't snub it. Though I'm more into caffeine, personally.
I guess the K experience simplifies things. I see the K teachers getting wound up in pride about their work, the role as 'teacher'. While the foreign teacher is a 'walking tape recorder'. Classroom jamoboree mc. Yes, it's a great time, not the usual responsibilities I see my younger brother and sister, both married with kids, load bearing.
But back to 'unilateral stability'. It reminds me of a Carlos Castenada book where the master and apprenctice walk by a woman in a wooden cage. The apprentice asks 'why is that woman in a cage?'. Don Juan says she's being silent and reliving/remembering while purging her life, like cleaning mental house before apprenticing further.
K'reans tend to put a foreigner in a box. That can be good. |
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itaewonguy

Joined: 25 Mar 2003
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Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2005 8:51 pm Post subject: |
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korean can bring out the best in you.. and the worst in you.. |
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