mindmetoo
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
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 Posted: Tue May 03, 2005 4:24 pm Post subject: |
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Goodman: Now, who knows how the Skinners could have resolved this problem? {everyone puts their hands up} Without resorting to violence. {all hands but one descend} Or childish name-calling. {the last hand comes down} Anybody? {nope} OK. That's OK, because making a happy home isn't like flipping on a light switch.
Cletus: Duh, light switch?
Goodman: There are a lot of little tricks to it, things you should have learned a long time ago. Such as, if you leave milk out, it can go sour. Put it in the refrigerator, or, failing that, a cool wet sack. {much later} And put your garbage in a garbage can, people. I can't stress that enough. Don't just throw it out the window.
Marge: This is so humiliating.
Homer: {writing furiously} "Garbage in garbage can"...hmm, makes sense.
It's graduation time from "Family Skills". Everyone is dressed in gowns and mortarboards. They come up two at a time to get their diplomas.
Goodman: I'm very proud of you people. You've learned how to care for your children, you've learned how to maintain your homes, and you've all passed a drug test. Except for Marge -- Marge, you tested positive for Crack and PCP.
Marge: Oh my! {"Fifteen minutes later"}
Goodman: OK, the retest says you're clean. Sorry about the mistake.
Marge: The only thing I'm high on is love...love for my son and daughters. Yes, a little LSD is all I need.
Goodman: All right, sounds very good.
The class cheers and throws their mortarboards into the air. Some class members fire guns. |
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