Korean Job Discussion Forums

[tomato]

I once wrote into this forum, expressing disfavor with a Korean custom which doesn't bother some other posters. So those posters wrote back, accosting me for "carrying a chip on [my] shoulder."

Another OP recently expressed disfavor with another Korean custom which doesn't bother some other posters. So those posters wrote back, branding this OP as "insecure" and "immature."

These are just two examples. You have surely seen this pattern repeated over and over on this forum. This brings to mind a few questions:

Should a person with a grievance keep it to himself?

Hard to say. A doctor can't help you unless you tell him where it hurts.

Are the assailants really better than the OP's?

Do I really have a chip on my shoulder? Is the other OP really insecure and immature? That is hard to say. I don't pretend to know who is good and who is bad. And I certainly don't know who is better than whom. We will find that out when we arrive at the Pearly Gates.

Are the assailants making a reasonable demand?

If I am hearing correctly, the assailants are asking me to turn off my negative feelings as if they were a light switch. Likewise, they are asking the allegedly insecure and immature OP to turn off his negative feelings as if they were a light switch.

I don't see how that is possible. I'm an individual and the other OP is an individual. Each of us comes to Korea with a multitude of hereditary and environmental influences which no one else can even begin to fathom.

What's easy for you might not be so easy for someone else. Suppose someone said, "I can speak English very easily. Why can't you?" Suppose someone said, "I can bear blonde hair and blue eyes very easily. Why can't you?" Would that be reasonable?

Does it do any good to throw stones?

Not very often. I still feel the same way. In fact, I feel worse. Because now, I am fighting not only the Koreans with whom I disagree, but my assailants as well.

How, then, should one help a person who complains?

That is a more difficult question. Helping a person requires more serious thought than throwing all the rotten eggs in the world.

[Swiss James]

jees you really do go on about that one issue don't you?

[Apple Scruff]

[tomato]

Thanks, Apple Scruff!

That reminds me of another item which I forgot to mention in my first post: if you complain about another person complaining, you are throwing a boomerang.

If there is anyone out there who never complains about anything, I would like for that person to step forward.

[Swiss James]

and if there's anyone who complains about the same thing every chance he gets, constantly tries to get other people to back up his complaint, and has started (I would guess) 4 or 5 threads on the same complaint...

[periwinkle]

I noticed that people who attack (especially those who throw-out one or two sentenced barbs) have big-time issues. I'm not talking about people who have strong opinions to the contrary and then proceed to argue their opinion. That's cool- I like strong-minded people, as long as they aren't belittling someone or being judgemental. Some people are on a high horse. Some people are just plain negative and nasty. There are all kinds of people in the world, and since you're in a public forum, you open yourself up to potential attack. I could definitely work on my debate skills, so it's fun to figure-out counter attacks. Bring it! To be honest, this forum used to be a lot edgier, but I didn't post much then. I felt I'd get burned, so I didn't participate- it was safer that way.

I got a pm once from some guy telling me "people like you make me sick", but he didn't have the whole story, and rushed to a snap judgement. I pm'd him back to set him straight. Since I didn't receive an apology, I decided he was a loser (granted, I gave it right back in the pm I sent him). God, I checked his profile and EVERYTHING he said was like, you suck, go home, shut the beep up, etc., etc.

If you check someone's profile and take at look at their compiled posts, you can learn volumes. I used to think one poster was pretty cool until I read something a bit odd. I checked his past postings, and I've completely changed my mind about that person (turned out to be judgemental with a superiority complex, IMO). Oh well, they shake things up. Makes things interesting, that's for sure!

God, I wish I'd learn to edit my posts for grammar mistakes before posting.

[Ya-ta Boy]

Should a person with a grievance keep it to himself?

Hard to say. A doctor can't help you unless you tell him where it hurts.

Are the assailants really better than the OP's?

Do I really have a chip on my shoulder? Is the other OP really insecure and immature? That is hard to say. I don't pretend to know who is good and who is bad. And I certainly don't know who is better than whom. We will find that out when we arrive at the Pearly Gates.

Are the assailants making a reasonable demand?

If I am hearing correctly, the assailants are asking me to turn off my negative feelings as if they were a light switch. Likewise, they are asking the allegedly insecure and immature OP to turn off his negative feelings as if they were a light switch.

I don't see how that is possible. I'm an individual and the other OP is an individual. Each of us comes to Korea with a multitude of hereditary and environmental influences which no one else can even begin to fathom.

What's easy for you might not be so easy for someone else. Suppose someone said, "I can speak English very easily. Why can't you?" Suppose someone said, "I can bear blonde hair and blue eyes very easily. Why can't you?" Would that be reasonable?

Does it do any good to throw stones?

Not very often. I still feel the same way. In fact, I feel worse. Because now, I am fighting not only the Koreans with whom I disagree, but my assailants as well.

How, then, should one help a person who complains?

That is a more difficult question. Helping a person requires more serious thought than throwing all the rotten eggs in the world.

[billybrobby]

Jumping on this board and complaining is fun but...

Some complaints are just so done done done. Beaten to death. beaten into the dirt. drug up. beaten down again. for example:

Mommy, Adjosshi spit on street! waaaaaah!

Daddy, Ajumma bumped into me! boooohooooo!

Uncle Joe, Cab driver man was driving fast! *sob* *sniffle*

Auntie May, that man cut in line! uaaaaagggggh!!!


But anyways, in the end, there's gotta be a balance on this board. people are gonna complain, and people are gonna make fun of the complainers. because Korea can suck, but it's not the end of the world. so go ahead and complain. you might get laughed at, but you'll get it off your chest.

[Swiss James]

the complaint I'm thinking of, and I'm pretty sure the complaint Tomato has is that Korean people often speak English to him.

I hope I'm putting words in his mouth when I say he finds this annoying and patronising, since he works hard to learn Korean.
In the past when he's brought this up, the argument has pretty much gone

"But they're just practising their English"
"But I want to practise my Korean"
"But you meet a lot more Korean speakers than they do English speakers"
"But I can often speak better korean than they can english, and how else am I supposed to improve?"
"Why do you find it annoying anyway? I think it's useful/cute/positive"
"I can't decide whether I find something annoying or not, I just do".

Sorry, I guess I've been posting on here for so long that I get a bit jaded, and seeing the same subjects cropping up from the same posters just gets old.

[Freezer Burn]

Waaaaa some annonymous nick named Esl'er told me a I complain Waaa

This line is for advice and fun, get someones opinion or advice and use your own judgment, I love it when it gets serious on this line, because peoples culture shine right through this line, you can almost tell where posters are from by their replys

By the way, that A**hole did cut in front of me in the supermarket, and she spat right in front of, man right in front of me.
And in China, the piss right in front of you in Mcdonalds....Delicious

[Daechidong Waygookin]

Complaining? You want complaining? I think Im the king as far as people complaining about me:) Anyway, I too got the "you make me sick" attacks thrown at me. It was in a thread about getting colds and the guy acted as if I just made fun of cancer or AIDS patients. He wanted to "sneeze on me so I would know how sick people felt". Geez. Sick people. A cold doesnt make you a sick person.

Bringning me back on topic. What is it with people complaining about minor crap and acting as if it was some crisis? Colds? Pay 2 days late?

[jajdude]

I think it's fine to complain. That's a good part of what this board is for, isn't it? If it helps relieve your unhappy mood any, gets you some wanted attention, why not?

People who whine constantly, though, are just unhappy and lonely and want attention. Haven't we all known people like that in real life?

Complaining about something you cannot change may not be entirely useless. You are just saying, "I don't like, but I got to live with it, at least for a while."

If you can change the thing you dislike, there's not much to complain about really. You either try to change it, or not. Or if you are like me, perhaps you complain about it and don't take proactive measures to actually improve the situation.
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I think a lot of complaints are just coming from unhappy moods from people having a hard day or a hard time living here. Some of us feel isolated and cut off from normality sometimes, and that can wreak havoc on one's sanity. We turn to this board as a sometime disposal of the crap we feel; though we return again and again when the crap doesn't dissovle.

[agraham]

Complaining is fun. Just like reading a scathing review of an awful car is lot more entertaining than a breathless loving review from a fan.
But these are people, not cars, and I think if they don't mean you harm it's not right to get nasty.
If someone crosses you on purpose then open season.
Should people come on the board and complain about what bugs them? Sure. Just remember the golden rule.

[tomato]

Hello, Swiss James!

You read between the lines perfectly.
No, you're not putting words in my mouth. I find the behavior which you mention "annoying and patronizing."

Furthermore, I plead guilty to belaboring my grievance in previous threads.

However, I plead not guilty to repeating my grievance in this thread. The nature of my grievance is not relevant to this thread, because the topic of this thread is grievances in general.

I hope you can see that I didn't bring the subject up this time, you did.

Hello, Periwinkle!

I agree.

Hello, Ya-ta Boy!

I agree with most of what you say, but you have the "Quote" and the "/Quote" in the wrong places. Until you correct that mistake, I won't get a wink of sleep.

Hello, Agraham!

My point exactly. I hope that anyone who can't understand my post can understand yours.

Hello, all other contributors!

Thanks! It was nice to get such a quick response!

[Neil]

The only thing I complain about is excessive use of exclamation marks.