Korean Job Discussion Forums

[rapier]

Maybe I'm antisocial, a bit cold, or just too independent.

Now that I can speak basic Korean I'm starting to enjoy a bit of banter with the korean guys who fill my local PC Bang. They're cool guys..very friendly..but for some reason I baulk when they invite me out to drink soju, go to the sauna, or even just play pool.
I feel a bit guilty..but I've always been one to do whatever I personally want to do. My time is precious. if i want to veg out and watch tv or whatever, i'll rather do that over being sociable. It can be a bit of an effort.
obviously I cause some offence when I leave the dinner table and announce that I'm going home..or too tired for socialising. Sure i'm missing a chance to improve my korean and probably come off as being a bit stand-offish. But i just do instinctively what I feel, i'm no crowd pleaser.

However, if it was a group of hot women, I would have no hesitation.
Am I bad?

[Ya-ta Boy]

I have a hard time getting my head around the concept of time being precious and sitting in a PC bahng. Those two seem mutually exclusive to me.

But aside from that, if you are a loner then that is what you are. No need to apologize for it or feel guilty.

[Chillin' Villain]

This:

[rawiri]

The whole kickin it with the ajosshi's can be a real double edged sword...case in point... a few months ago whilst bar hopping with some buddys i bumped into an ajosshi that i met in Australia. We shared a room in a backpackers for about a month and as is usual of backpackers, we all lived, worked and partied together. It was a totally random meeting over here, i had lost his email from aussie and hadn't heard from him since i left the backpackers so it was a bit of a surprise reunion when i bumped into him. I tuirns out that he's now living close to my area and wev'e been in touch for drinks and stuff a few times.

The tough part is that he acts quite differently from myself and my friends, we all went to a nightclub one evening and he ordered a few girls to come and sit with us....they obviously didn't want to be sitting at our table, a fact that myself and my western friend picked up on but my korean friend seemed oblivious to their obvious discomfort. He ended up dragging "his" girl onto the dance floor to slow dance whilst we relinquished our ladies of their sitting duties. My buddy mentioned that he thought it was a bit off the way J (k guy) was treating the girl made to sit by him. Then J orderd me to pay the attendee 10 bucks for dragging these poor girls over.

Now the good side is that a few days later he rings me...

J- hey rawiri, good news...i have a private business class looking for a part time teacher, 3 times a week, 80 minutes a time, start at lunchtime...for 1 000 000 won a month

ME- SWEET...thats a pretty awesome deal...cheers J

J- No worries mate....so can you give me T's (my canadian buddy) number so he can come and meet these guys sometime

ME- so it's not for me then...

J-no only north american accents.

Some korean guy's iv'e met are people i click with and some aren't. I wouldn't want to stereotype an entire race of guys.

[Apple Scruff]

I don't hang out with too many Korean guys, but I also don't spend what I consider to be "precious time" time in PC Bangs or watching TV. I can do that back home. While I'm in Korea, I want to go out in Korea.

Of course, this is why I have no money.

[mithridates]

I know a cool guy from Cyworld that I go to jazz clubs with from time to time. Wonderful chap.

[The Great Toad]

I've never been able to have a very close Korean Male friend - ok I rode (and had to slow down to the teens on the uphills becuase they are not as strong as me) with a few ironmen competitors but ahhhh lets face it they are more often then not big drinking smoking dumbasses- As to the few healthy fellows I've met they seem to lack in the grey matter- I yield for red lights these guys seem to assume if they blast through red lights they are going so fast no car will hit them - God spare the car they plow their fat helmeted heads into. Besides all the bike guys I know have lives/ wife and kids this affords little time to goof about with a Large Noble Toad in his Drawing Room discussing the evil rejection of Romantic thought.

[Cthulhu]

I had a group of close Korean friends I knew since I first arrived in Korea. We started to drift apart after 5 years, but not because we couldn't have fun together but because one by one we all married and/or had kids and I left Korea. There are lots of cool male Koreans out there, but they are not necessarily the first ajosshis who ask you to sit down and drink with them. Having similar interests helps immensely, and rest assured, there are lots of Koreans who will do more than practice their English or want you to be a token foreigner in the noraebang. You do have to want to make the effort, though, even if it means wading through some boring evenings in an effort to find them.

[tommynomad]

I have male Korean friends in 4 cities, none of them my own. They're all great guys--wish I had more time to see them. When we go out we do the same things I do with my non-K friends: eat, drink, be merry. Except with my non-K friends we tend to get home before dawn.

[manlyboy]

[Swiss James]

[pollyplummer]

I'm not friends with any Korean guys but I wouldnt mind it! (though I dont want to date any of them)... This is the thing. I'm 25. My co-teacher is a Korean guy about 3 or 4 years older than me, and he lives in the same building as me. When I found that out, I thought, GREAT!! I have neighbors who I know! His name is Jay and he is like one of the best Korean guys I have ever met (and I'm not a huge fan, so that's saying a lot), very sensitive and relaxed for the most part... perhaps the most patient person I know. I'm so grateful for this. But he seems like he never wants to hang out with me! I think he feels really uncomfortable. Sometimes I'll go knock on his door and ask him what he's up to, see if he wants to go somewhere. Nope. He's tired. He's busy. Sometimes I'll invite him along when my friends and I are going somewhere. He looks at me in this excrutiatingly patient way and his face reads: "I dont want to disappoint you" and then he says, "I think I might be working." I think he's just really shy and passive. But I dont care if he thinks of me as a little sister or cousin or whatever, I just wish I had somebody in my building who wanted to go to dinner or for a beer every now and then. I thought we could be buddies. Am I missing something? We teach 16 hours a week together. Is there some unwritten rule that a male co-worker cannot have a beer with a younger female co-worker?

[Swiss James]

I don't think many korean guys have female single friends- I think it would be improper. He sounds like a very nice chap though, it's a shame you can't hang out.

[Homer]

Well,

I have several Korean male friends and some in-laws as well. We became friends out of common interests.

I also go the nearby park every sunday and play Changi with the old dudes there. These guys have amazing stories to tell. Gives you a whole different prespective on living here.

[kangnamdragon]

My best friend is a Korean guy. My adopted brother is a Korean guy. Most of my friends here are Korean. Yes, I have hung out with Korean guys.