Korean Job Discussion Forums

weatherman · Joined: 14 Jan 2003 Location: Korea

http://joongangdaily.joins.com/200311/18/200311182318048309900091009101.html

Very interesting to say the least.

jaebea · Joined: 21 Sep 2003 Location: SYD

I think the advice is pretty sound.

Sure, the woman has her right to be as promiscuous or chaste as she damn well pleases, but the guy has a right to like or dislike her preference. I'm sure it would cut both ways if a girl found out her boyfriend had frequent flyer points at the local love motels. :)

If he doesn't feel "right" about it, then he should jump ship, or at least take a good look at the relationship.

jae.

Ryst Helmut · Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2003 9:04 pm Post subject:

Interesting? Didn't we already go through these 'issues' in high school (or even middle school)?

Shoosh,

Ryst

dogbert · Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Location: Killbox 90210

Why would the letter writer specify that she was Korean? Was this outside Korea?

katydid · Joined: 02 Feb 2003 Location: Here kitty kitty kitty...

A Korean Dear Abby? Well...that's interesting!

Part of me, for the second letter, agrees, if it bothers you, then maybe you should look at the relationship. After all, similar values do make for a strong relationship, because too many people like to look at other "happy" couples, and see how they are and where they are, and compare and judge, while forgetting that what might be good for someone may be stifling for someone else.
But then I'm thinking, who cares if she slept with other guys in the past. I just hope that if she had slept with a lot of guys she's being careful with this one.
I'd be more concerned with, is she sleeping with anyone else right now?
And what IF it was the guy who had more experience than the girl? There seems to be this terrible double-standard going on, that it would be OK for the guy to sleep with many people before her, but not the other way around.
I think it's just kind of tacky to go to the same love hotel over and over with different people, even if it is one monogamous relationship after another. If I were her, I would have been completely embarrassed if the person at the front desk greeted me warmly, and there, I could understand why the boyfriend might feel uncomfortable about that....

peppermint · Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2003 9:55 pm Post subject:

kimcheeking · Guest

katydid · Joined: 02 Feb 2003 Location: Here kitty kitty kitty...

helly · Joined: 01 Apr 2003 Location: WORLDWIDE

I have it on fairly good authority that the letters to this column, as well as the About Korea Q&A, in the Joongang Daily are completely made up.

I would have to agree.

bucheon bum · Joined: 16 Jan 2003

so you're saying this kind of scenerio doesn't take place in Korea helly? I think you're being a little naive there.

peppermint · Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2003 10:43 pm Post subject:

Sorry if the sarcasm wasn't as clear as it should be on that. The double standards are more clear here than they are at home, but after all the Korea bashing, and western women bashing here lately- I'm tired of any topic that involves the words Korea or women.

dogbert · Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Location: Killbox 90210

helly · Joined: 01 Apr 2003 Location: WORLDWIDE

so you're saying this kind of scenerio doesn't take place in Korea helly? I think you're being a little naive there.

Not sure where I suggested that this doesn't happen and no, I'm not being a little naive. I know the function of the love hotel, I understand the volume of visits to the love hotel, I have utilized the love hotel facility in my lifetime, I have even been in a love hotel where you could buy an 8 inch, spiked vibrator with a lightbulb inside in a vending machine outside the room for 30,000 won to enjoy with your free Korean porn, mood lighting and complimentary bacchus F.

What I did suggest is that the letters to this column, as well as the About Korea section, may be made up. This suggestion was passed on to this board by me based on discussions I have had with Joongang Daily reporters and staff members on the subject.

I absolutely believe that a young couple needed a love hotel due to family presence at home. I believe that the girl had visited this hotel and others on multiple occasions.

I find it hard to believe that:

- The man working the counter was not more discreet when dealing with an obviously recognizable guest. What does he have to gain from informing this guy that his new girlfriend is "experienced?" From my experience, extracurricular activities of this sort are treated with a bit of the ol' nudgenudgewinkwink

- The "writer" determined that this is something he would be writing into the English newspaper about. Ines Cho is far from a respected authority on dating and relationships.

- A Korean guy would identify his new girlfriend as a sweet Korean girl. I assume he lives in Korea and he is Korean, as not too many foreign guys live with their mothers in Korea. This comment could very well be wrong.

On the About Korea Q&A, I have a hard time that the cultural questions being asked by the anonymous "Mrs. Johnson in Suwon (or any random name/location combination)" would be conveniently be either on the same topics that many many many Koreans have taken on themselves to inform me of without asking or a cultural aspect that I have a hard time people feel the need to write into the newspaper about.

For example:

Decoy ducks: Not for hunting
But a pair of them foreshadows a ducky marriage
The following is a tip on traditional Korean language and customs in response to a query from a Ms. Brown, who wrote to us from Seoul:

Q. Ms. Brown:
At souvenir shops in airports and shopping arcades in Korea, I've seen these wooden duck decoys of various sizes and colors. I collect decoys wherever I go. Oddly though, the vendors here will never sell me one; they insist I buy a pair. Is there any reason for that?

A. IHT-JAD:
In the West, duck decoys are commonly used for hunting. By contrast, Koreans were farmers, for whom guarding fields and crops was a priority.

Ducks in shamanistic Korean society were first used as religious symbols; it was believed that the migratory birds were like gods, freely traveling between heaven and earth, and between land and water. Holy ducks, in the form of carved wood, were always prepared in pairs, a male and a female. This led to the belief that the duck pairs symbolized a married couple.

Today, the old tradition continues in traditional wedding ceremonies, and Koreans regard a pair of decorative ducks as a symbol of happy marriage.

Hey, Ms Brown, if you frequent this board and truly collect decoys wherever you can, I apologize.

A frequent comment also in these columns are "My Korean friends told me X. What did they mean?" Ummm, you didn't ask your Korean friends?

But, getting back to the point before my ramble, it has been hinted to me, by reporters and staff at the Joongang Daily that both of these columns have been completely falsified in the past and that I would have to agree.

dogbert · Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Location: Killbox 90210

Helly is absolutely on the money.

hellofaniceguy · Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Location: On your computer screen!

Would you rather be with someone who is inexperienced and has no technique? Or "teach" him/her? You can only be as good of a lover as your partner lets you. If you are inhabited, it won't matter. I suppose we all secretly hope that we are the first or at least one of the first! I don't think anyone would stay with a person if they had no technique. Do you want a cold fish?