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Korean Job Discussion Forums "The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
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eleruen
Joined: 18 Dec 2004 Location: Bundang, South Korea
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:36 am Post subject: Dating Korean men-part deux |
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You may remember me from my post complaining about Korean men who are only capable of touching 2 body parts, and western men who ignore western women in favour of Korean women.
A few weeks back I had a Koren boyfriend. We got along incredibly well, had tons in common, and he touched me with care and respect.
When he decided that he wanted to get serious, he informed his parents about me. His parents went ape, and threatened to disown him should he marry me in the future. They insisted that because he is the only child, he must keep the blood-line pure. He was disappointed, dumped me, and drank heavily the next day.
For about a month after being dumped, he would phone me at least once a week 'just to hear your voice' and ' i want to meet you as a friend', and 'i love you but my parents say no, so I can't be your boyfriend'
It wasn't funny at the time, but I can laugh about it now.
Anyway, my message to foreign women who want to get serious with a Korean man is this:
1)Find out if he has any older brothers and if the older brother has any children (even then, you will be met with disapproval)
2) If you find yourself in my situation, ask youself this: do i want to marry a coward? Your answer will probably be 'no'.
3)It can be argued that he behaved like this due to his culture. However, it can be argued that true love knows no boundaries. If this happens to you, he probably never loved you in the first place.
If you do find yourself a Korean man, good luck, and don't get your heart broken. |
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Corporal

Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:04 am Post subject: Re: Dating Korean men-part deux |
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Anyway, my message to foreign women who want to get serious with a Korean man is this:
1)Find out if he has any older brothers and if the older brother has any children (even then, you will be met with disapproval) |
Are you kidding. You've had one K-boyfriend and suddenly you know everything about how all Koreans are going to react to a foreign girlfriend entering their family?
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2) If you find yourself in my situation, ask youself this: do i want to marry a coward? Your answer will probably be 'no'. |
What???
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3)It can be argued that he behaved like this due to his culture. However, it can be argued that true love knows no boundaries. If this happens to you, he probably never loved you in the first place. |
Again, what???
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If you do find yourself a Korean man, good luck, and don't get your heart broken. |
Uh, thanks. That's good advice for everyone though, regardless of whether or not their man is Korean. Unless you're saying that women in relationships with Korean men are in greater need of good luck and have to be more careful that their hearts don't get broken.  |
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brachy

Joined: 01 Jul 2005
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:06 am Post subject: |
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awww someone had her first break up.
how cute. |
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eleruen
Joined: 18 Dec 2004 Location: Bundang, South Korea
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:09 am Post subject: |
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OF COURSE I am not generalising from my experience.
In fact I have spoken to many Korean friends, male and female, about this situation. They all warned me that this is the attitude of KOrean men/parents towards foreign women. Moreover, the advice I gave here is the advice they gave me.
Additionally, you only have to search on Google to discover that I am not alone in this experience. |
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eleruen
Joined: 18 Dec 2004 Location: Bundang, South Korea
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:10 am Post subject: |
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don't be soft. Of course this is not my first break up. |
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dogbert

Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Location: Killbox 90210
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:51 am Post subject: |
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At least you wised up.
When Koreans moan about keeping their "blood lines pure", the white horses would do well to remember their own blood lines and what they have accomplished. |
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sheba
Joined: 16 May 2005 Location: Here there and everywhere!
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 5:05 pm Post subject: Re: Dating Korean men-part deux |
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eleruen wrote: |
It can be argued that he behaved like this due to his culture. However, it can be argued that true love knows no boundaries. If this happens to you, he probably never loved you in the first place. |
In western culture we like to put ourselves first, Korean culture is not so much like that. Family and society play a very big part in their lives (for the most part anyways). It is not about whether they actually loved you or not... you just sound bitter because he chose his family over you... |
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crazylemongirl

Joined: 23 Mar 2003 Location: almost there...
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:17 pm Post subject: |
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dogbert wrote: |
At least you wised up.
When Koreans moan about keeping their "blood lines pure", the white horses would do well to remember their own blood lines and what they have accomplished. |
WTF? Dogbert that's possbily the most sexist and racist thing I've seen written here in a long time.
1. Most white people are mutts of some kind or another.
2. Why the hell are women the ones that shouldn't be able to hook up with someone outside their blood line? |
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Leslie Cheswyck

Joined: 31 May 2003 Location: University of Western Chile
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:24 pm Post subject: |
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Rule of thumb: When a relationship gets "koreanized" it usually means all the joy and life has been sucked out of it. |
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Pyongshin Sangja

Joined: 20 Apr 2003 Location: I love baby!
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:31 pm Post subject: |
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I don't think it's racism. Korean bloodlines ARE NOT PURE. Koreans have been invaded, cross-pollinated, immigrated to, kidnapped and brought back later, exiled, sent abroad as tribute, inter-married (REALLY!) and so on for thousands of years. Park Chung-Hee et al. are responsible for popularising this concept in the modern era, don't listen to it for a second.
He's not saying it as a white power thing, he's saying that people should be proud of their heritage in the face of real Korean racism. Or not. If you want to make me out to be some sort of storm-trooper for saying that, go ahead.
It's also not that white women should be more tied to white men than vice versa. A different sexual dynamic exists when Korean men, who can or will or want to inter-marry less than Korean women, chase white women than when Korean women date white men.
"Riding the white horse" (that's you by the way) is a Korean saying that equates you with an animal. Is that the way you want to be characterised? As far as I know Korean women don't have an equivalent saying for white men, although there was this one time.....But I digress. |
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eamo

Joined: 08 Mar 2003 Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:45 pm Post subject: |
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Agree with Dogbert and Pyongshin....
It's imortant to recognize that a lot of the worlds most significant achievements in science, business, technology, arts, philosophy (give me Socrates over Confucious anyday) etc, etc, come from Europe or people of European descent.
Recognizing that doesn't make whites superior or other races inferior. It's just there in your face. The reasons why Europeans have largely dominated the world are in history. Not in genes. So it's not really a racial issue at all. |
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Bulsajo

Joined: 16 Jan 2003
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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Maybe Dulouz will post more Stones lyrics:
"White horses, couldn't drag me a-waay..." |
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Leslie Cheswyck

Joined: 31 May 2003 Location: University of Western Chile
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:04 pm Post subject: |
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Or Brown Sugar  |
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pegpig

Joined: 10 May 2005
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:08 pm Post subject: Re: Dating Korean men-part deux |
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As I began to read the op's initial post I was scrolling down and I immediately got this sense of dread that I knew who was going to be responding and what her tone was going to be. I wonder if Corporal has ever posted a positive or helpful message. You should perhaps change your username from Corporal to General Negativity.
Corporal wrote: |
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2) If you find yourself in my situation, ask youself this: do i want to marry a coward? Your answer will probably be 'no'. |
What??? |
Is he willing to stand up to his mommy and daddy or is he your typical Korean momma's boy?
Corporal wrote: |
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3)It can be argued that he behaved like this due to his culture. However, it can be argued that true love knows no boundaries. If this happens to you, he probably never loved you in the first place. |
Again, what??? |
If he truly loves her, he'll stand up for her.
This ends your reading comprehension lesson for the day. I hope. |
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eamo

Joined: 08 Mar 2003 Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:12 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah Corporal. All you're saying is, "what?!!". Why don't you articulate what is wrong with the OP's remarks instead of just, "what?!!". |
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