Korean Job Discussion Forums

[sillywilly]

So I'm thinking of going back to teach in Asia. Just thinking... Asked my son whether he'd hypothetically like to come back overseas with me or stay home. He said stay home. Granted hes very flippant and jumps to answers quickly, but he does have a good thing going medication/education-wise in Canada.

I guess my question is this: If anyone has ever left their kids for a year to go teach, how was it? Were you able to stand it? Were your kids emotionally stunted as a result? I should state that mine is 7 and is very close ot the rest of his dad's and my family. Thoughts?

[Corporal]

No offense, but I would never have had a kid if there was a chance I was going to be away from them for a year. Except maybe if he or she was a teenager...but a 7-year-old??

Kids that young belong with parents. I know you haven't made the decision yet, but frankly I think it's weird that you'd even consider leaving him, much less asking him what he thinks.

[fidel]

I'm with Corporal. The fact you would even consider abandoning a seven year old speaks volumes about the type of mother you are!

[ddeubel]

Fidel.....how big a stone did you pick up? Hope you don't live in a glass tower.

Faithfully,

DD

[jlb]

I met a lady during my time in Korea who left her husband and grown up kids to come to Korea and see if she wanted to be an ESL teacher. I met her at month 4 or so and it was killing her. She would come home from work and then spend 2-3 hours on the phone with family, essentially having no social life or friends.

She was not a happy person and so while it may be possible, it would probably kill most people to do it. If you're going to come, then come and live and enjoy life here. If you're trapped in the past in your home country, it probably won't be a very happy time for you.

[fidel]

[sillywilly]

Yeah, Fidel, I was planning on leaving him on the street, hoping someone would take pitty on him and feed him scraps while I was away. He has a father, you know.

Jlb, thanks for the helpful story. Its kind of what I was afraid of; just needed other case-studies to be sure I wasn't being paranoid. I had heard of other mothers doing it, friends of friends of friends but I had always wondered whether it was something that someone could stand emotionally. I wonder if web-cams make a difference in the connection/loneliness factor.

[dulouz]

Bring him here and home school him. Tell him tough luck.

[Ya-ta Boy]

An alternative question to ask is this: If you bring him, what are you going to do with him during the day? At 7, he should be in school. International schools are expensive. You may not be able to afford to send him to one. That leaves Korean schools. Does he speak Korean? (You said he'd been here before.)

[ddeubel]

Fidel,

Im not offended at all. I just think that we should only judge when we know very intimately, the particulars. Otherwise what we really are doing is , moralizing. Empty and backhandedly patting ourselves on the back at the cost of others. If you can't phanthom something....you have no knowledge and no right to judge. Compassion begins not just with putting yourself in someone else's shoes but also being humble towards one's own ignorance of the detailed, kalaideoscope of existence....

No offence but really just kinda heard too much of the "Im better than you" attitude on Dave's lately. ...

Silly Willy, all i can do is evoke the credo of St. Augustine "Love and do what one will." For if there is the love of a child, real "interested" and not disinterested love.....it doesn't matter what else we do. The grace of this feeling will lead us anywhere and overcome all..

DD

[fidel]

[peppermint]

I was left behind as a kid when my family moved across the country, just for a couple of months. I stayed with my grandparents and finished the school year, then moved to be with my family.

I can't say how it will affect you, but if your son doesn't want to go, then leaving him in familliar surroundings with a caring relative would probably be a much better solution for him than dragging him along.

If you could arrange a public school or uni gig with lots of time off, you might be able to make it work

[tzechuk]

There are kids in Asia who go abroad for education from as young as 6...

[Ekuboko]

[skconqueror]

The point is that they make out just fine, and are well adjusted children. Just because you dont believe in it doesnt make it wrong.