Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Hater Depot]

I know that in Korea it's quite a stigma to be divorced. Two of my close Korean friends were divorced women and did not want my friends to know this about them.

But is there any stigma attached to being the child of divorced parents? I ask because my parents are getting divorced, and I want to know if this is something that could affect my relationships with employers or other Koreans (obviously a true friend wouldn't think less of me). Do you have any relevant experiences or advice?

I guess I'm not worried how an employer might react--it wouldn't be a difficult thing to keep from them. But I do wonder if my girlfriend's family might feel cooler towards me or even pressure her to break up with me. Her parents are divorced so I don't think it would be a big deal, but you never know. I love her and really want to get in good with the family, so if you have any advice please tell. (BTW she told me about her parents' divorce pretty much right away.)

[Zark]

Why would your girlfriend or employer need to know the nature of your parent's relationship?

Frankly, I've been working overseas since 1989 - and five of those years have been in Korea - and the issue has NEVER come up.

If it did come up - I guess I'd say, " They're okay, why? How are your parents doing?"

I don't tend to share personal information easily - and beyond me - there's no need to know personal information about my FAMILY. What in the world possible relevance could it have to a Korean's daily life?

Maybe it's time to get real about your relationship - and if these things can be issues - I'd move on.

You say it yourself - so you already know. You said, "obviously a true friend wouldn't think less of me."

[Son Deureo!]

Some Koreans do seem to react negatively to it. My parents have been divorced since I was 12, both have remarried, and I am very close to my stepfamily on my father's side. As a result, it's impossible to talk about my family at any length without my parents' divorce coming up sooner or later.

Usually, they just want to change the subject because it makes them uncomfortable (far more than it makes me!).

I have also heard some Koreans say it means I can never have a happy marriage. My response is that I believe in Ÿ������ (a Korean proverb that means "making jewels from other people's rocks", or learning from the mistakes of others).

At any rate, I wouldn't particularly recommend telling your girlfriend's parents about it, but if your girlfriend can't accept you because of your parents' problems, it may be better for you to know this sooner rather than later.

Good luck, and my sympathies for your family situation.

[chiaa]

My family is so fucked up that Koreans actually laugh. My father got remarried about seven years ago. He has two sons with that marriage, ages six and seven (somewhere around there) and three sons from his first marriage (me and my full brothers). The oldest stepbrother to the two liitle ones is 41 years old and he has a daughter that is 17 years old. (think about this for a minute and its implications). My father's wife is 10 months older than my oldest brother.

Use pen and paper to draw a tree if needed.

[mindmetoo]

I know three divorced Korean women in their 30s (all having been beaten by their ex's mind you). They don't make it known at all they were divorced. If anything, it opens them up to sexual harassment. "You're divorced. You should be happy you get any attention from a man..."

Such is the attitude.

[peppermint]

I got asked about my family background in a job interview last week.

[ilovebdt]

[mindmetoo]

[Hater Depot]

[peony]

her parents are divorced as well, i dont think it will be an issue