Korean Job Discussion Forums

[taobenli]

There's this Korean girl I met in the U.S. last year- she was studying abroad at my university. I met her for a lot of language exchange last year, and we mostly spoke Korean because she's really shy about speaking English. She's a bit odd, ten years older than me, and unmarried. When I came to Korea she was kind enough to pick me up at the airport and helped me find a place to live the first few days. But since I arrived we've only met a couple of times. She also promised to lend me a laptop she wasn't using, and I was grateful for that...but everytime I called or text messaged her to talk about it, she said she had to take it to the A/S/ center or some such thing. Bottom line is, she never lent it to me, and this lie annoys me. Now that I'm about to leave Seoul she just text messaged me and wants to get together. But I'm ticked off...why didn't she just say the computer didn't work. Why all the lies and dodging?

[taobenli]

I actually meant to post this in General...whoops. But I suppose it is in the form of a question...

[brachy]

So you are mad at your friend for not lending you something she said she would loan you?

That's pretty silly, especially since she was so kind and helpful when you first arrived.

It's Korea, PC bongs are cheap, and so are computers. Heaven forbid your gratious enough friend didn't lend you her computer. Big deal.

That's really petty if you ask me.

[taobenli]

Sorry, wasn't very clear...I am not really angry, just annoyed at her way of interacting with me. I have been fine using school computers and I'll only be here a little while longer. But I'm just confused about why she didn't give me an answer. It seems rude to offer something and then basically pretend you never said anything. I'm annoyed by the principle of the thing, not the actual situation...

[tomato]

I understand.
I've been here for almost 6 years, and I'm only starting to get used to the abundance of social lies in Korean culture.

[Homer]

[mindmetoo]

It's possible she has a boyfriend here and she's never mentioned it to you. Once a Korean women gets a BF, there can be no guy friends in her life, especially foreign guy friends.

[peppermint]

I think it's safe to assume that the OP is a woman ( skim this forum for her other thread).

as for the original topic. I completely understand. one of my friends here does the same thing and it drives me nuts, though I'm not sure if it's a Korean thing in general or not. I guess some people just have trouble saying no and find lying easier.

Try not to get angry and just explain to her that you'd rather be let down honestly than strung along.

[pest2]