Korean Job Discussion Forums

[skinhead]

Survey and discussion on the topic. I believe there was a thread about it this year, but I can't find it. If anyone can locate it, I'll kill this thread.

Anyway, Sage Monkey got howled down because he thinks prenups are a bad idea. I agree with his reasoning. It seems like planning your separation before it begins. Why bother getting married at all if you're not committed to your partner. It makes no sense in that respect. On the other hand, those who've been through messy legal divorce proceedings would be a case of burned - once bitten twice shy. So I understand why people do it. Isn't life sad. However much we try to control our own future, life will always find a way to bite us in the arse.

Would you take out insurance on your marriage?

[paperbag princess]

1/2 of all marriages end in divorce. based on this fact alone i would definately get a prenuptual. think about it, you have a better chance of getting divorced than winning the lottery.

[Hater Depot]

Yeah, but which marriages are most likely to end in divorce? I would bet anything it's the 20/80 rule again -- 20% of the people are responsible for 80% of the divorces.

[itaewonguy]

Prenuptuals means arranged marrage!
no thanks!

BUT!!!

if I was was VERY rich.. before I met my wife I would set out a few safety nets for myself. but wives of millionairs still manage to get money well in the state of california anyway!

but if I was just a teacher with a few assets! no I wouldnt bother!
thats just fake. you consider your car or house property , comparing it to your new wife , wife is an investment? bad one if you ask me hahahaah
go with the car at least you can trade it in for a newer model in 10 years

BADABOOM! we will be here all week!

[simone]

Didn't need it.

We were both teachers here in Korea. Had all our money saved and were going back to school. Estimated similar lifetime earning potential was practically identical, meaning that he'll pull ahead of me while the kids are small, but I'll work a good five years or so after he retires.

At least, on paper... Hoping to strike it rich and retire in ten.

If one of us were WAY better off than the other, then it might be a good idea, but a prenup is just an economic thing, mainly.

We DID have almost an emotional pre-nup, though. There's this great book, called "The Hard Questions." 100 questions, all organized by theme, where you discuss everything from home decorating, sex, family responsibility, and money. It was great to sit on our balcony in the months before the wedding, imagining our future, sharing our ideas.

Questions like: How much money do we make now, and do we expect to make 5, 10, 15 years in the future? Is it ever acceptable for one of us not to work? Under what circumstances?

What are my responsibilities towards your parents? Yours towards mine? What if a parent gets sick?

What if we discover through testing that our baby (still not born yet) has a congenital deformity? Down's Syndrome? Or what about twins?

What if one of us is attracted to another person? Superficially? Deeply?

-- Truly, it's a great process to go through. You have far fewer surprises down the road when you go through this book.

Simone
Shacked up for four years, married for two. So far so good.

[mole]

We know I'm working on getting one. My sister did, Dad did for his second marriage. We fit several categories below. Granted, it's not exactly bedroom talk, but I/we think it's prudent and wise for us.

Here's a quote with the site cited:

Prenuptial agreements:
Not just for the rich

You don't have to be a Rockefeller or Trump to need a premarital agreement. A person who has managed to save $30,000 may be more protective of their little nest egg than someone who has millions.

"Those are sometimes the most jealously guarded assets because it has taken a lot of hard work to accumulate a small amount," says Joseph P. Zwack, an Iowa lawyer and author of a best-selling handbook Premarital Agreements: When, Why and How to Write Them.

You should consider having a prenup if you fall into any of the following categories:

You have assets such as a home, stock or retirement funds
Own all or part of a business
You may be receiving an inheritance
You have children and/or grandchildren from a previous marriage
One of you is much wealthier than the other
One of you will be supporting the other through college
You have loved ones who need to be taken care of, such as elderly parents
You have or are pursuing a degree or license in a potentially lucrative profession such as medicine
You could see a big increase in income because your business is taking off, or that garage band you play in has just gotten a contract with a big record company.

http://www.bankrate.com/brm/green/special/prenup2.asp

[skinhead]

^^^ Bottom line: If you've got a skerrick to lose, don't get married. Save yourself a legal buck. Just fvck for fun when you feel like it.

[mole]

I can't DISagree. But somewhere around 39-ish, I started feeling fortunate to have found the K-hottie willing to take care of me.
Of course I never thought it would happen, but the "settle-down" urge has hit.

Side note: My first Google of prenuptual turned up some hits, but it politely reminded me that it's prenuptial.

[skinhead]

It just didn't look right, homies! Prenuptuals / prenuptials. Screw the dikktionarie specialists!! Spell it Your way, I say. A copout is a copout.

[mole]

That I can agree with. Hence my original misspelling. Live & learn, I guess.
You hear something for years and just KNOW how it's spelt, then a student or computer corrects you.
I had a student correct me on hurdle vs. hurtle. *ack*

[Moldy Rutabaga]

In class, if busted, I usually say "words which are used very rarely are more likely to have variant spellings". Probably within fifty years the dictionaries will give up and let you spell prenup-etc. any way you like.

Back to the issue. I'll look like an old fogey and say it: to me, planning for a marriage to fail is a heck of a way to start it. If that's the confidence you have in your marriage lasting forever, why wed at all? There's always common law..

But then, I have no assets at all, only debts (why else would I come here).

Ken:>

[mole]

I was hoping to not get so personal.
Dad was diagnosed with cancer last year. I went home and he died shortly thereafter.
I'm heir to an estate which has yet to be settled. I will be a millionaire, though.
I have children from a previous marriage.
My spouse-to-be and I had marriage plans before Dad got sick.
Her family's far from poor.
We're not planning on a divorce. I certainly don't want to go through this all again.
It just seems right for us to do this.