Korean Job Discussion Forums

The evil penguin · Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2005 9:37 am Post subject: Its been 5 weeks...

My name is Evil Penguin, and its been 5 weeks since I've been with a woman (non-inflatable and physically real - opposed to an imaginary figment of an unfortunately somewhat diminished mind) in a physical intimate sense. Actually 4 weeks and 4 days. Actually 4 weeks, 4 days and approx 2 hours (the time now being 1:44am). Want to go for a more exact figure..... ummm.... I got her message at.... so ... then add 20 minutes travelling time (her to my place)... 3 minutes for conversation... 6 and a half minutes of begging..... another 10 minutes fiddling with the damn bra strap..... Ok 4 weeks 4 days and 125 minutes. So.... if the time of "physical intimacy" could (for ease of calculation) be said to end at the exact point of the last donation to the baby bounce-back bag... then let me see...... okay, 4 weeks, 4 days and 128 minutes. (4 weeks 4 days and 125 minutes since a woman has demonstrated physical attraction to me - well.... at least made contact without making any major ly obvious expressions or grimaces of utter loathing and disgust)

What I am happy to brag about is that she was korean. Something to tell mates back back. Picked up a korean bird... woohoo!! (asian women are so hot.... maybe somebody should start a thread about this sometime....).... What I'm not so willing to share (except for when i'm a wee bit under the weather and only very slightly walking with the wobbly boot on) is that the she we are talking about was the beer hof adjuma of the local hof..... Ok gotta be some points rewarded for that one.... She gets all the attention from all the upstanding citizens and she ends up paying attention to my upstanding .....well.... no need to go any further.... Anyway, that was a long time ago... now 4 weeks, 4 days and 132 minutes ....

I was a regular (just my good self and a foreign co-teacher) and she was always quite attractive when inebriated. Me inebriated, not her.... the only time I'd seen her inebriated was when i was too so it worked out alright in the end... My co-teacher warned me... He said she wasn't too flash when the beer goggles aren't on..... Silly fool, he didn't understand the whole concept of drinking and the reason for doing it. We drink as a favour to the ladies.... Men drink and woman become beautiful.. they should thasnk us for it....

Anyway, I can no longer return to the hof.... It would be just awkward if i went on a night when the husband was working.... Yes.. thats right... I have commited a terrible act.......

Anyway, this story was going somewhere but kind of got bogged down in a mire of nothingness.... Did i mention that its now been 4 weeks, 4 days and 138 minutes since I've been with a real female (of the human variety.... actually thats a bit ambiguous.... ANY variety)...

Where was i? Oh yes... I've been doing a lot of thinking... sex isn't what it used to be. The mystery has gone..... And i've also been thinking/wondering about other things as well. Do promiscous puppies and fornicating fox terriors ever get sick of doing things in the manner and style of the creatures they are and ever desire to do things human style? Is it physically possible?
And why is it called the missionary position when it involves her being knees up on a comfy soft bed? Shouldn't it be when your slapping the maleria mozzies on her backside as you painfully contort yourself around the gear shift and steering wheel on the seat of the rusty old landrover bogged on an overgrown track in the middle of the jungle?Anyway... its now been 4 weeks, 4 days and 143 minutes (wow... i'm a slow typer...)

Was it Mark Twain who once made the comment that the most over-rated thing in the world is sex and the most under-rated thing being defecation?
Maybe it was just somebody famous who either ate lots of fibre or not enough viagra.... Whoever it was.... I have no idea if i agree or don't agree. Would the world be a better place if humans reproduced by asexual reproduction.... Binary fission would be cool..... Just think how much more we could achieve in life if our preoccupation with copulation was channeled into more (or in some ways less- depending if certain device weren't used) productive activities...

dunno. All I know is that lately i can retire at nights safe and comforted in the knowledge that I'm not in danger of rolling out of bed.....

There is no point to this post..... or maybe there is..

Ya-ta Boy · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994

Are you perhaps trying to re-ignite SBS's ire and get a starring role in a new TV documentary?

RachaelRoo · Joined: 15 Jul 2005 Location: Anywhere but Ulsan!

sheba · Joined: 16 May 2005 Location: Here there and everywhere!

pegpig · Joined: 10 May 2005

cruisemonkey · Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2005 7:10 pm Post subject:

ROTFL... I've never fallen out of bed no matter how much I've been getting (my ex-wife said Viagra was the last thing in the world I needed), but I have broken a few though. Rolling Eyes

The evil penguin · Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2005 3:56 am Post subject:

....it's gonna be six weeks soon...... *sniff*

pegpig · Joined: 10 May 2005

6 weeks?! Hah! I can do that with one hand......ah, never mind.