Korean Job Discussion Forums

[krats1976]

If this has already been done, I apologize in advance:

http://www.blogthings.com/wherefrom.html


ALASKA

You Know You're From Alaska When...

"Vacation" means driving to Chitna to dip net

You measure distance in hours.

Down south to you means Anchorage.

You know several people who have hit a moose.

Your school classes aren't cancelled because of cold.

Your school classes were canceled because of ice.

You think of the major four food groups as moose, caribou, beer, and squaw candy.

You think that moose season is a national holiday.

You know what a real sockeye is, and have a recipe for candy ones.

You know if another Alaskan is from the city or the village as soon as they open their mouth.

You can spell words like Chatanika, Ninilchik, and Tuntutuliak.

You've had cabin fever.

You own moose nugget ear rings.

Mosquito dope is a part of your daily attire. (Actually, it's called Bug Dope, but whatever)

You think the song Breaking Up is Hard to Do is about spring time.

Travel luggage consists of ice coolers (or fish boxes) wrapped with duct tape.

A seven course meal is a sixpack and a can of SPAM.

When you answer the phone and it's a wrong number, but you know the number of the person they were trying to call off the top of your head.

You have bigger tires on your plane than on your car.

Your relatives/friends think you live too far away for them to come visit you, but keep asking you to come see them more often.

October is the month of your highest income.

The reason you don't own a poodle is because an eagle ate the last one. ( This is why my cat in Kodiak was an indoor kitty)

Kids catch the bus in the dark and get off it in the dark.

You know why they named it Chicken, Alaska.

You know that road flares will start a nice bon fire.

You take the door off the outhouse to see the aurora.

Your idea of taking a load off is emptying the firewood out of the back of the truck.

You know a tail-dragger is an airplane, not a bad day at the office.

You know that a Spenard Divorce involves a .357 magnum, not a lawyer.

You like your neighbors.

You know at least one pot grower.

You put up with the pain of a toothache until the Permanent Fund Dividend checks come out in October.

You know going "outside" involves a whole lot more than opening a door and walking into the yard.

You know Bunny Boots aren't worn by bunnies or made out of bunnies.

You know the meaning of the word "baleen" and it has nothing to do with making hay into large cubes.

You take off your shirt and your arms are as pale as your legs all the way to your wrists.

You don't know anyone who doesn't own a 4-wheeler.

You've washed your car while there was still snow on the ground.

You know a honey bucket is really a bucket, but it's not really full of honey.

You learned to swim indoors.

Your bedroom windows are covered in aluminum foil.

Your monthly veterinarian bill is more than your own medical bill.

You know a "white out" has to do with winter conditions not correcting fluid for typos.

Your local golf course has "happy hour" between 1:00 and 2:00 am

The seat in your outhouse is lined with styrofoam so your butt won't freeze to it when you have to sit down for a certain amount of time.

You've had to set your alarm every three hours to go start you car and let it run for 20 minutes so hopefully it will start in the morning so you can go to work. (What kind of idiot does this? Plug the %&$* thing in already!)

Instead of plugging in your freezer, you've just move it to the front porch!

You open your freezer to take out something for dinner, and are faced with many choices, Pink Salmon, Silver Salmon, Red Salmon, King Salmon, Smoked Salmon, or Halibut!

You can play road hockey on skates.

You see signs saying Do or do NOT _____ but you never see any law enforcement people.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Alaska.

Man... I wanna go home!!!

[The Chewbacca Defense]

You Know You're From Australia When...
Your next door neighbours can be from Tunisia, Israel, Indonesia, Japan, Zimbabwe, Iraq, Brazil, Spain, Malaysia...

The community is so concerned over the fact that muslim women can't use public swimming pools because there are men present that they have female-only periods.

The Greeks and Mexicans next door ask you over to have a barbeque.

You don't actually use the words 'sheila' or 'shrimp'.

You sleep with Aeroguard on.

You're wearing a cap emblazoned with 'Get A Dog Up Ya.'

You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread and actually grow to like it.

You actively dislike Americans, but watch their TV, eat their food and worship their idols.

You think Tall Poppy Syndrome is a national condition.

Democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of John Howard.

Your idea of a lethal weapon is a slug gun.

The closest you ever got to going overseas was your packet of 5 Days In Rio grundies.

A posh meal = an all-you-can-eat buffet.

The term "musical instrument" also extends to wobbly bits of ply-wood, hand saws, gum leafs and combs.

Your most offensive curse also doubles as an exclamation of awe or amazement, like, "fark orf!"

All of your internationally famous people don't live here.

You think footballers dressing up in drag on TV is funny (but your son being gay isn't).

You relish test cricket - the longest, slowest game in sport (and that's not even counting the replays). After all, what else gives you an excuse to sit on your arse for five days, watch TV and sink piss with your mates?

You don't drink Fosters, but you let the world think you do.

The only thing better than beating the Pohms at ANY sport is giving them shit for it.

You love, adore and admire a particular team/sportstar/actor on a winning streak - until they lose. Then they're just crap and 'past it.'

You can compress several words into one - ie 'g'day', 'd'reckn?' This allows for more space for profanities.

You favour either Holden or Ford - or a souped-up WRX with new kit and a bootful of subwoofer.

Driving down the main street/beach road playing bad techno is your idea of a perfect Saturday night / Sunday arvo.

You make kooky films, sometimes about wayward road trips (across the outback preferably). Quite a few are crap.

You know all the words to Khe Sahn but not the national anthem.

Your nickname ends in 'a' or 'o'.

You have a customised stubby holder.

Your soap stars become pop singers and move to the UK.

You've ever used the words - grouse, tops, ripper, choice, sick, rad, exo, ace, wicked, ballistic - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you really mean it.

Your cooking apron has plastic breasts on it.

The "Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi oi oi!" chant has been a religious experience in the past.

The blokes at the local gym think your weight training is an opportunity to ask you out on a date.

The big national sporting events are men-only.

Your politicians believe than sticking the prefix 'un' in front of your nationality is an effective way of making you sit down and shut up.

Our mantras are 'fair go for all', 'mateship' and 'little Aussie battler' - but we still publicly condemn those with different viewpoints to us.

The barbeque is a male-dominated arena. And the women do the salads.

'Fair go for all' excludes indigenous people.

An eight-hour trip to go camping for the weekend isn't out of the question or excessive.

You take pride in living in a tolerant multicultural society but firmly believe that all Poms and Kiwis are fair game.

You insist on asking every celebrity who steps of an aircraft what they think of Australia. If the response is not overwhelmingly positive, they should be subjected to immediate public ridicule.

The private lives of footy and cricket players become more important than local and national news stories.

Slick pick-up lines like 'Wanna shag?' and 'Carn, show us yer *beep*' can constitute male-to-female conversation.

You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.

You realise you have no Bill of Rights.

The first thing guaranteed to get eaten at parties is fairy bread


Yep I want to go home too

[Konundrum]

[guangho]

You Know You're From New York City When...
You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan.

You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can�t find Wisconsin on a map.

Hookers and the homeless are invisible.

The subway makes sense.

You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple".

The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.

You consider Westchester "upstate".

You think Central Park is "nature."

You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.

You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."

You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times.

You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent.

You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid.

You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed.

Your closet is filled with black clothes.

You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since the 80s, and when you did, it terrified you.

You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.

You take fashion seriously.

Being truly alone makes you nervous.

You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.

Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip."

America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.

You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form.

You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.

Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.

$50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.

You don't notice sirens anymore.

You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns.

Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian.

You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skills.

You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price.

Your door has more than three locks.

Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.

You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection.

You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.

You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available.

You're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent.

There is no North and South. It's uptown or downtown.

When you're away from home, you miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels.

You know the differences between all the different Ray's Pizzas.

You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.

Your internal clock is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are in effect.

You know what a bodega is.

You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats.

Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.....

You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas

Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from NYC.


You Know You're Jewish When...
You spent your entire childhood thinking everyone called pot roast "brisket."

You grew up thinking it was normal for someone to shout "Are you okay? Are you okay?" through the bathroom door when you were in there longer than 3 minutes.

Your family dog responded to commands in Yiddish.

Every Saturday morning your father went to the neighborhood deli (called an "appetizing store") for whitefish salad, whitefish ("chubs"), lox (nova if you were rich!), herring, corned beef, roast beef, cole slaw, potato salad, a 1/2-dozen huge barrel pickles, a dozen assorted bagels, cream cheese and rye bread (sliced while he waited) .. all of which would be strictly off-limits until Sunday morning.

Every Sunday afternoon was spent visiting your grandparents and/or other relatives.

You experienced the phenomenon of 50 people fitting into a 10-foot-wide dining room hitting each other with plastic plates trying to get to a deli tray.

You had at least one female relative who penciled on eyebrows which were always asymmetrical.

You thought pasta was stuff used exclusively for Kugel and kasha with bowties.

You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.

You were as tall as your grandfather by the age seven and a half.

You never knew anyone whose last name didn't end in one of 5 standard suffixes (berg, baum, man, stein and witz.)

You were surprised to discover that wine doesn't always taste like cranberry sauce.

You can look at gefilte fish and not turn green.

Your mother smacked you really hard and continues to make you feel bad for hurting her hand.

You can understand Yiddish but you can't speak it.

You know how to pronounce numerous Yiddish words and use them correctly in context, yet you don't exactly know what they mean. Kinahurra.

You're still angry at your parents for not speaking both Yiddish and English to you when you were a baby.

You have at least one ancestor who is somehow related to your spouse's ancestor.

Your grandparent's newly washed linoleum floor was covered with the NY Times, which your grandparents could not read.

You thought speaking loud was normal.

You considered your Bar or Bat Mitzvah a "Get Out of Hebrew School Free" card.

You think eating half a jar of dill pickles is a wholesome snack.

You're compelled to mention your grandmother's "steel cannonballs" upon seeing fluffy matzo balls served at restaurants.

You buy 3 shopping bags worth of hot bagels on every trip to NYC and ship them home via FedEx. (Or, if you live near NYC or Philadelphia or another Jewish city hub, you drive 3 hours just to buy a dozen "real" bagels.)

Your mother took personal pride when a Jew was noted for some accomplishment (showbiz, medicine, politics, etc.) and was ashamed and embarrassed when a Jew was accused of a crime .. as if they were relatives.

You thought sleepaway college was only where non-Jews went ... Jews went to city schools ... unless they had scholarships or made an Ivy League school.

And finally, you knew that Sunday night and the night after any Jewish holiday was designated for Chinese food.

[desultude]

[guangho]

Alaska is one of those places I really want to go to someday but I get the chills when it dips below 50....

[The evil penguin]

You know your (just come) from the bar wghen you find yourself on daves at 3 in the morning and you keep wishing to yourself that you didn;'t pysically demonstate your abundance of ear hair to that cute korean bird who had actually shown an (passing) interest in taling with a foiriegner

[krats1976]

[Freezer Burn]

You Know You're From New Zealand When...
You know what to do in an Earthquake: get into the nearest doorway before any other bugger and say, "Nah, i don't reckon it's the big one this time. We'll be right"

You can hum the theme song to Coronation street.

You know what apples really taste like (and that there are more than four different kinds)

You know rugby league is not, and never will be, an international sport.

You're not sure about cricket, either. Or hockey. Or netball. Or swimming. Or the women's 400m. Or any other sport in which Australia are world champions. Yes, you're even having doubts about real rugby.

You know what happened to the lead singer of Push Push

You're seen split Enz, or former members thereof, performing live at least once

You reckon anyone who carries on about how great they are is an up-themselves wanker. Or an Australian.

You wouldn't dream of wearing thongs on your feet. Thats what jandals are for.

The name "Chappell" still makes you queasy

You know someone who worked on The Lore of the Rings or Xena

You wish Fitzy, Zinzan and Josh were still playing for the ABs.

The dairy sells more than just stuff from cows

You rolled Snifters, rather then Jaffas, down the aisle at the movies

You know something's horribly wrong if you've been driving for more then 2 hours without the scenery changing.

The words "NZ cricket victory" just don't sound right, somehow.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New Zealand.

[jajdude]

There's got to be one of these lists for Newfoundland...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The one for "you know yr Korean".... sounds about right....

[guangho]

And one for my college years...

You Know You're From Memphis When...
Your idea of a great first date is going to Crumpy's or D'Bo's for a great dinner.

You actually like Church's Chicken.

You know where "P.V." is located.

You've been to Dave's skating rink on Third Street.

You remember when Big Daddy's on Elvis Presley was da bomb.

Your parents dropped you off at the Mall of Memphis.

You remember when Micheal Jackson and the Jackson family was on top of Woolco on Third and Florida.

You know somebody nicknamed "Skinny Pimp."

You know what 304 means in someone's pager when they turn it upside down.

You wash your car every Friday night just to go to FEDEX.

You've spent the night at Liberty Land Labor Day Weekend!!

You remember Club No Name or Da Expo!

You owned (or still own) a DJ Spanish Fly mix tape.

You've been to Channel Three Drive

You have eaten Buffalo Fish

You love Jack Pirtle's Gravy

If you referred to someone as, or were a "prep-type"

If you have or had a family member with a Jherri Curl

You know about Voodoo Village

You've had a date at Ellens, Leech's, 4 Way Grill, Melanie's or L&H on Third street.

You've eaten at Lotta Burger, Big Dip, or Hungry I Snack Bar.

Your summer vacation includes going to Atlanta or Biloxi.

You have "free cable"

All directions start with, "Go down I-240..."

"Sugar" is a more common form of address than "Miss". So is "Honey".

Presley can only be pronounced by a native, so do not attempt the pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you.

You know Memphis is pronounced "MEM---PHUS.

Construction crews aren't doing their job properly unless they close down all lanes except one during rush hour.

People think Republican means "White" and Democrat means "Black"

You can elect your mayor, school board, and day-care provider with one vote.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Memphis.

[little mixed girl]

i was debating between using michigan..or detroit...cuz some detroit stuff applies to me...
and a pastie is what was on janet jackson's nipple...

You Know You're From Michigan When...
You define summer as three months of bad sledding.

You think Alkaline batteries were named for a Tiger outfielder.

You can identify an Ohio accent.

Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six pack and a bucket of smelt.

Owning a Japanese car is a hanging offense in your hometown.

You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.

The Big Mac is something that you drive across.

You believe that "down south" means Toledo.

You bake with soda and drink pop.

You drive 75 on the highway and you pass on the right.

Your Little League baseball game was snowed out.

You learned how to drive a boat before you learned how to ride a bike.

You know how to pronounce "Mackinac".

The word "thumb" has a geographical rather than an anatomical significance.

You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.

You expect Vernor's when you order ginger ale.

You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but that it isn't far from Hell.

Your favorite holidays are Christmas, Thanksgiving, the opening of deer season and Devil's Night.

Your snowmobile, lawn mower and fishing boat all have big block Chevy engines.

At least one person in your family disowns you for the week of the Michigan/Michigan State football game.

You know what a millage is.

Traveling coast to coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon.

Half the change in your pocket is Canadian, eh.

You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your left hand.

You know what a "Yooper" is.

Your car rusts out before you need the brakes done

Half the people you know say they are from Detroit... yet you don't personally know anyone who actually lives in Detroit

"Up North" means north of Clare.

You know what a pastie is.

You occasionally cheer "Go Lions- and take the Tigers with you."

Snow tires come standard on all your cars.

At least 25% of your relatives work for the auto industry.

You don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is.

Octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball.

You know more about chill factors and lake effect than you'd EVER like to know!

Your snowblower has more miles on it than your car.

Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.

When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left."

You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms.

You never watch the Weather Channel - you can just assume they're wrong.

The snowmen you make in your front yard actually freeze. Solid.

The snow freezes so hard that you can actually walk across it and not break it or leave any marks.

All your shoes are called "tennis shoes", even though no one here plays tennis anyway.

Your major school field trip includes camping and cross-country skiing.

Half your friends have a perfect sledding hill right in their own backyard.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Michigan.

[chi-chi]

Sorry I saw this and HAD to. These are a little country for me, but then again I live right by Fl, so go figure.

You know you're from Georgia if...


1. You measure distance in hours.

2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.

4. Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies.

5. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

6. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.

7. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.

8. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

9. You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.

10. You get tears in your eyes when Lee Greenwood sings "proud to be an american", no matter how often you hear it.

11. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

12. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

13. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.

14. The local paper covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.

15. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

16. You attend every high school reunion, and chaired the committee twice.

17. You find 90 degrees F "a little warm."

18. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, Still summer, and Christmas.

19. You know whether another Georgian is from southern, middle, or northern Georgia as soon as they open their mouth.

20. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or

more.


21. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World.

22. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.

23. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor .

24. You know what a "spicket" is.

25. You still call the refrigerator the "icebox."

26. You call it a cold Christmas if you don't break out in a sweat in your new sweater.


27. Your whole town completely shuts down for 1 inch of snow or Just the threat of snow.

28. You understand these jokes!!!

Let me do Florida too, since my hometown acts like they're in Florida anyway (they're confused)

you know you're from florida when...

You own at least five pairs of flip flops

You know someone who's been struck by lightning

You're more scared of the freaks who live down the street than gators

Your backyard is sometimes a swamp

You're officially sick of Disney

You shrug off hurricane warnings

You've been permanently blinded by fat men in speedos

There are only two seasons - hot and hotter

You've drank a flaming alligator.

Another Florida list. Oddly enough, it looks strangely similiar to the GA one. I guess we're just next-door neighbors, after all:

Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway near Okeechobee..

"Vacation" means going to the family reunion.

You've seen all the big bands 10 years after they were popular.

You measure distance in minutes.

You know several people who have hit a deer.

Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

Your school classes were never canceled because of heat.

You've even had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."

Stores don't have shopping carts; they have "buggies."

You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.

You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing dinner.

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal (including pesky insects)!

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. (And your car as well!)

You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.

You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

You think everyone from a bigger city has a "Northern accent."

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for sports.

You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

You find 90 degrees "a little warm."

You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, Still summer, and Christmas.

There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1,000 or more.

Going to Walmart is a favorite pastime known as "goin' Wal-Martin'" or off to "Wally World."

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as "goooood chili weather."

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.

You recognize that cheese grits and catfish nuggets is a meal that must have been bestowed upon the people by the Lord Himself.

You can be satisfied with a meal consisting only of a hunk of bread, with flavored flour and water (a delicacy known as "biscuits n' gravy").

You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Florida and to a few "feriners," who love you anyway. Could you be a Floridian at heart???

P.S. I happen to know a Korean girl who, coincidentally, grew up in Michigan. Regardless of how the people are, she said that she would NEVER go back-too much snow. That's what most people say who come down South...something like 46% of America's population lives down here now.

[Dazed and Confused]

Oklahoma


1. It doesn't bother you one bit to use airports named for 2 men who died
>in
>the same grisly plane crash.
>
>2. You can properly pronounce all of the following, and without laughing:
>
>Eufaula, Pushmataha, Okemah, Tishomingo, Wapanucka, and Chickasha.
>
>
>
>3. You know that the true value of a parking space is determined not by

the istance to the door, but rather by the availability of shade.
>
>4. You readily understand the difference between 3.2 and 6.0 beer, and
know what a "beer run" to another state is.
>
>5. A tornado warning siren is not necessarily cause for alarm.
>(It's usually just your signal to go out in the yard and look for the
>funnel. Fun for the whole family.)
>
>6. You are 100% Okie if you've ever had this conversation with a friend:
>"Y'all wanna Coke?"
>"Sure."
>"What kind ya want?"
>"Dr. Pepper."
>
>7. You've used at least 4 of the following 8 words/expressions in daily
>conversation:
>
>"reckon"
>"plumb" (e.g., "plumb stove up," "plumb fed up," "plumb sick and tired,"
>etc.)
>"Howdy"
>"fixin' to"
>"See y'all later" (alt., "Y'all behave yourselves!")
>"gol-durn"
>"dag-nab-it"
>
>8. You understand at least 5 of the 10 following concepts and expressions:
>
>Dry County
>The B.C. Clark Christmas jingle
>"Once saved, always saved."
>"Useful as *beep* on a boar hog."
>"Go Sooners!"
>"Shoot far (fire) and save the matches!"
>Liquor-by-the-Drink
>Vacation Bible School
>Peppered cream gravy on everything, please, Ma'am
>"Just open all the windows and git in the bathtub."
>
>
>9. You know how to identify at least 5 varieties of venomous snakes on
>sight.
>
>10. You understand that Oklahoma is a Southern, Southwestern, and
>Midwestern state-all at once. This is not a contradiction in your mind.
>
>11. The local paper quickly covers national and international headlines
on the front page, but requires 6 pages for sports and 2 pages for local
>church news.
>
>12. You know more than 1 woman who has used an O.U. football schedule to plan her wedding date.
>
>13. You don't find it in the least bit odd to see "chicken fried chicken"
>on a menu
>
>14. You know the difference between "Durant" and "Doo-rant," and you also know which state has a "Mia-muh," and which has a "Mia-mee."
>
>15. You remember the profligate wealth of the Oil Boom, and you fervently pray for those days to return.
>
>16. A BMW is not nearly the status symbol that a Ford F150 4x4 is.
>
>17. You don't find it in the least bit odd to find video rentals,
>ammunition, and live bait all in the same convenience store.
>
>18. You know all 4 seasons by heart:
>
>Tornado, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas
>
>19. You know exactly what calf fries are, and you eat them anyway.
>
>20. You can't always remember which year your sweet Mama was born, but you an rattle off the years of all the "terrible hot" summers in your
lifetime lickety-split.

AND ANOTHER ONE

Subject:?Oklahoma things I've learned......


A. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

B. There are 5,000 types of snakes, and 4,998 live in Oklahoma.

C. There are 10,000 types of spiders.?All 10,000 live in Oklahoma, plus a
couple no one's seen before.

D. Possums will eat anything.

E. Armadillos love to dig holes under tomato plants.

F. Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are
ripe.

G. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

H. Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

I. There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house.

J. A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle.?They do get stuck.

K. The wind blows at 90 mph from October 2 until June 25, then it stops
totally until October 2.

L. Onced and twiced are words.

M. Coldbeer is one word.

N. People actually grow and eat okra.

O. Green grass DOES burn.

P. When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog.?City people
drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.

Q. The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first
couple of weeks.

R. When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to
the doctor.

S. Fix-in-to is one word.

T. A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation,
watterin' the cows, or swimming.

U. There ain't no such thing as "lunch."There's dinner, and then there's
supper.

V. Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're
two.

W. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.

X. 'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"

Y. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it
is.?You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

More Oklahomanisms:
You know you're from Oklahoma if:

1. You measure distance in minutes.

2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.

4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in
it, no matter what time of the year.

5. You use "fix" as a verb.?Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
(Note: in the portion above "fix-in-to" is one word......)

6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,
grain, insect or animal.

7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.

8. You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.

9. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.

10. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

11. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

12 You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.

13. The local papers covers national and international news on one page
but requires six pages for local gossip and sports.

14. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

15. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

16. You find 100 degrees F "a little warm."

17. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and
Christmas.

18. You know whether another Oklahoman is from east, west, north or south
Oklahoma as soon as they open their mouth.

19. There is a Braums in every town with a population of 1000 or more.

20. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin"
or off to "Wally World."

21. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili
weather.

22. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a Coke,
regardless of brand or flavor.

23. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from
Oklahoma.


AND YET ANOTHER

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN OKLAHOMA IN AUGUST WHEN.....


The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up
lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out
and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying
boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

Ah, what a place to call home!

AND ANOTHER!
Rules for Entering Oklahoma



The following list of rules applies to each person as they enter

Oklahoma. Learn 'em & remember 'em.



1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.



2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road". I drive a
pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.



3. They are pigs, cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.



4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have quarter-million dollar air conditioned tractors that we drive 3 weeks a year.



5. Every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.



6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.



7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's Available at the corner bait shop.



8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.



9. We open doors for women. That is applied to everyone, regardless of age.



10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.



11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, Vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Pace Picante Sauce.



12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know How to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.



13. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.



14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.



15. Colleges? Try Oklahoma State University or heck, you could even try that place those "Sooners" go. They all come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.



16. We have more folks in the Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than any other state, so "Don't Mess with Oklahoma," If you do, it will get your butt kicked by the best.



17. Learn to enjoy the music. It's a little different here, makes you appreciate REAL Music. They don't call this "red dirt country" just because the dirt is red.



18. Always remember what our great governor E. W. Marland once said. "Oklahoma can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Oklahoma!"

[Tiger Beer]