|
Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
DRAMA OVERKILL
Joined: 12 Apr 2005
|
 Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 3:45 am Post subject: Magnet for Trouble... |
 |
|
Lately, I've been a magnet for trouble... Seems that nearly every time I go out, a confrontation with some cranky, anti-foreinger guy is inevitable... Usually at a bar, or just out walking on the street... Sure, these things happen to us all from time to time, but lately it's about twice a week for me... Is that much? It is for me...
I really hate these kinds of situations, and honestly, I don't do anything to bring them on... If I'm out with a Korean male friend, I'm always left alone - likely because they don't want any fellow Korean involved... But myself and a fellow foreign friend or two, there's always some a-hole that won't leave us alone and who wants to start something... It's not like I'm incredibly upset by these happenings, I'm just annoyed that every other time I go out some jerk-off has to go and mess with my good time...
I'm quite mild-mannered, I'm not loud and obnoxious, and I'm not a womanizer... However, I am a white, English speaking young man - perhaps I'm not jumping the gun to say that these characteristics alone are enough for some of these guys to want to kick your ass... And, with all the bad talk about foreigners these days, I'm likely just being categorized as another uneducated, womanizing white boy, indifferent to the culture around me, and only here to make a few bucks and bang as many Korean girls as I can... Thus, I deserve to be put in my place... Sh*t...
I always walk away from these situations, or simply ignore the guy(s)... Friends have suggested that I'm too much of an easy target - that if I was more aggressive I would be left alone (?)... Most of the people who behave like this need a good smack upside the head, but I'd have to be quite offended to do that, and besides, I don't want any trouble with the police... How best to deal with such situations??? Ignoring them is probably the best solution, but it when it happens so frequently, it's kind of hard to... Is the only option to get harrassed and accept it, or move??? It pisses me off that so many of these pricks are interferring with the comfortable life I wish to have here...
This post may not be all that original, but this is a persistant problem for me... I can deal with the occasional stress of teaching, but it's these problems I experience outside of work that burn a man out...
Maybe it's just that I've had "in the wrong place at the wrong time" kind of luck lately... Anyway, I'll deal with it best I can... How do the rest of you all deal with such situations when it happens to you? |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
some waygug-in
Joined: 25 Jan 2003
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 3:52 am Post subject: |
|
|
You're already doing it. Just keep walking away. Like you said, it ain't worth getting in a fight and then having to pay a bunch of blood money.
I know it's hard sometimes. I've walked away grinding my teeth more than once.
Just remember, it's their country. You can leave it. .....they can't .  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
I_Am_Wrong
Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Location: whatever
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:14 am Post subject: |
|
|
So...where do you hang out?
13 months and counting without any incidents. People have always been kind , polite, and even thoughtful towards me. Maybe your just a jerk? just kidding. I can't wait for my first incident!! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
crazylemongirl
Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:33 am Post subject: Re: Magnet for Trouble... |
|
|
| DRAMA OVERKILL wrote: |
| Lately, I've been a magnet for trouble... Seems that nearly every time I go out, a confrontation with some cranky, anti-foreinger guy is inevitable... Usually at a bar |
Ding, ding, ding. Booze + men = stupid displays of masculnity. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:08 am Post subject: |
|
|
if you're with a korean woman you'll come in for it.
If you're on your own, you'll get far less. Some guys seem to attract it far more than others, not quite sure why:) |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:09 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Yes, stay away from the bars. Spend your manly down-time at yoga and ballroom dancing classes offered by the department stores, eat at vegetarian & tofu restaurants, and head for the trendy independent coffee shops were all the well-heeled 50-yr-old ajummas hang out. Until you turn 60. Have fun! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
crazylemongirl
Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:14 am Post subject: |
|
|
| JongnoGuru wrote: |
| Yes, stay away from the bars. Spend your manly down-time at yoga and ballroom dancing classes offered by the department stores, eat at vegetarian & tofu restaurants, and head for the trendy independent coffee shops were all the well-heeled 50-yr-old ajummas hang out. Until you turn 60. Have fun! |
You forgot, trying to score the babes at EMart! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
joe_doufu
Joined: 09 May 2005
Location: Elsewhere
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:56 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Try to look older, that might help. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
SPINOZA
Joined: 10 Jun 2005
Location: $eoul
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 6:19 am Post subject: |
|
|
It seems almost unbelievable that someone could have this much trouble for simply turning up at a place and purchasing/consuming goods on those premises.
I've never ever felt safer and free from vile, violent tw_ts than in this country/city.
I sympathise with the OP because, assuming he's been totally truthful in his post and doesn't have a rotten attitude like many westerners I've been misfortunate enough to meet here, he seems to be the victim of some rather dreadful luck. Hope it gets better. Hang in there. And if trouble starts, get out, get in a taxi, get away. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Freezer Burn
Joined: 11 Apr 2005
Location: Busan
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 7:20 am Post subject: |
|
|
Bah! ... its a common occurence here in the sticks, we are a novelty to all the 'soju-men' who have higher opinions on themselves as they spew into the gutter.
I like the direct in their face "F*CK OFF' approach, if that isn't your stly then just keep walking ignoring them. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
mercury
Joined: 05 Dec 2004
Location: Pusan
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 9:51 am Post subject: Re: Magnet for Trouble... |
|
|
| DRAMA OVERKILL wrote: |
Lately, I've been a magnet for trouble... Seems that nearly every time I go out, a confrontation with some cranky, anti-foreinger guy is inevitable... Usually at a bar, or just out walking on the street... Sure, these things happen to us all from time to time, but lately it's about twice a week for me... Is that much? It is for me...
I really hate these kinds of situations, and honestly, I don't do anything to bring them on... If I'm out with a Korean male friend, I'm always left alone - likely because they don't want any fellow Korean involved... But myself and a fellow foreign friend or two, there's always some a-hole that won't leave us alone and who wants to start something... It's not like I'm incredibly upset by these happenings, I'm just annoyed that every other time I go out some jerk-off has to go and mess with my good time...
I'm quite mild-mannered, I'm not loud and obnoxious, and I'm not a womanizer... However, I am a white, English speaking young man - perhaps I'm not jumping the gun to say that these characteristics alone are enough for some of these guys to want to kick your ass... And, with all the bad talk about foreigners these days, I'm likely just being categorized as another uneducated, womanizing white boy, indifferent to the culture around me, and only here to make a few bucks and bang as many Korean girls as I can... Thus, I deserve to be put in my place... Sh*t...
I always walk away from these situations, or simply ignore the guy(s)... Friends have suggested that I'm too much of an easy target - that if I was more aggressive I would be left alone (?)... Most of the people who behave like this need a good smack upside the head, but I'd have to be quite offended to do that, and besides, I don't want any trouble with the police... How best to deal with such situations??? Ignoring them is probably the best solution, but it when it happens so frequently, it's kind of hard to... Is the only option to get harrassed and accept it, or move??? It pisses me off that so many of these pricks are interferring with the comfortable life I wish to have here...
This post may not be all that original, but this is a persistant problem for me... I can deal with the occasional stress of teaching, but it's these problems I experience outside of work that burn a man out...
Maybe it's just that I've had "in the wrong place at the wrong time" kind of luck lately... Anyway, I'll deal with it best I can... How do the rest of you all deal with such situations when it happens to you? |
I can understand what you are talking about. Maybe you should do some research.................
what do you usually wear when you have the problems?
Jeans? T-shirt? Do you wear a baseball cap backwards?
Try dressing in nice clothes, shirt and tie, go out and see how people treat you.
Maybe you are frowning when you go out. When people stare at you maybe they sense a feeling of hostility from you. Try just smiling.
Do you have long hair? short hair? Are you tall? Short? Do you wear glasses?
It seems to me like the Korea guys really feel intimidated by western guys who look like a threat to them. Usually tall guys who they consider "handsome" can trigger some jealous anger. Many a time at a bar , a group of guys will come over and want to arm wrestle me. When I beat them, they keep coming back for more. If their girlfriends are looking at me, it makes them CRAZY, I have had guys actually turn their girlfriends away so that they cannot look at me. I have had girls say 'handsome guy' to me in FRONT of their boyfriends, and then watch their boyfriend walk away from them. It seems as if the short bald guys with glasses never have any trouble. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Harpeau
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Location: Coquitlam, BC
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 10:07 am Post subject: Re: Magnet for Trouble... |
|
|
| DRAMA OVERKILL wrote: |
| How do the rest of you all deal with such situations when it happens to you? |
That's a very difficult question to answer. I would say that it depends on the individual that is approaching you. *Some* people go out and they are determined to start a fight for kicks. Other people go out and feel that it's their duty to protect Korean women (because MBC said so). I think the secret is to try and use some humor. Reason with them ~ if you can and let them know that you don't want to fight them. If they continue to bother you, then walk away.
Upon reflection, most fights that I've seen here happen between 7pm and 5am.
BTW, bars are the worst places for this kind of thing. Be very careful and try to negotiate your way out of it. If you are a gentleman, then hopefully his buddies and the bar staff may lean in your favor. Remember, a bar doesn't want fights. Make it clear that you are there to have a peaceful drink, that's all. As mentioned above, smile a lot as well. Finally, don't look them in the eye. If they're pretty mean, then look at their neck. Direct eye contact in Asia *might* be interpreted as being rude. You're bowing out to keep the peace~ it's worth it.
All the best. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 11:52 am Post subject: Re: Magnet for Trouble... |
|
|
| Though I've cut & rearranged it a bit, Harpeau wrote: |
-- Be very careful.
-- Try to negotiate your way out of it.
-- Try and use some humour.
-- Reason with them.
-- Make it clear that you are there to have a peaceful drink.
-- Smile a lot.
-- Don't look them in the eye.
All the best. |
Or you might give Japan or Hong Kong a try (based on plenty of personal experience), or the Philippines or Thailand or Indonesia or elsewhere in Asia (no vast personal experience, but countless second-hand accounts), where walking into a bar alone or with a local girl means an enjoyable, relaxing, unwinding experience, instead of a potential run-in with hostile local menfolk who take issue with the colour of your face. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
djsmnc
Joined: 20 Jan 2003
Location: Dave's ESL Cafe
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:06 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I find it best to put a battery powered digital alarm clock attached to a mess of wires and assorted junk under my shirt. If I get cornered, I just open my shirt and say "Al salaam a'alaykum bi***!!" They usually hit the deck and I'm outta there without a scratch. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
ambvalent
Joined: 25 Feb 2005
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:18 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: |
| I find it best to put a battery powered digital alarm clock attached to a mess of wires and assorted junk under my shirt. If I get cornered, I just open my shirt and say "Al salaam a'alaykum bi***!!" They usually hit the deck and I'm outta there without a scratch. |
Thanks. I needed that laugh this morning.
I've only had one scary incident, but it really bothered me. I'm 5'6", wear glasses, not muscular...well, at least I still have my hair, right? 
Two weeks ago I nearly had two fights in the SAME PLACE with Koreans. I was dressed well, and was with a smattering of people; American gyoppo men and women, a Korean woman, a black American woman, and a white American woman. We were dancing kind of in a circle.
To shorten a long story, the first situation was a hand reaching from behind, between my legs, and grabbing. Yes, I'm a guy. I was so shocked, having never had this happen to me before, that I tried to remove the hand for a few seconds before I had the sense to elbow the a$$*ole in the face. He gave ME an angry look! I tried my best to forget about that nastiness ASAP.
The second situation was with one guy who was trying to constantly dance me out of our little circle. He was all elbows, knees, and toes trying to push me out of the way. I did the arms crossed annyeo with eye contact several times. When one woman from our group started to walk off to the bathroom, he started to follow her. I didn't even notice that, but one of the women did.
After he had elbowed me in the kidneys a dozen times in dramatized dance moves, I stopped dancing completely, looked at him, and using the same way I urge one of my students, motioned to him to "go on". The next time he slammed in to me I pushed him off, and he fell down in the most ridiculous panoply of "oww look what he did". That was the first time I did anything other than block him.
Next thing, he's standing with his arm pulled back, and a bottle in his hand. His face had that really furious / constipated look. I was certain he would hit me, I think. I kept my arms down by my sides, and did my best to look non-threatening...eventually he backed down. My friends were upset that I said "this place is not safe, we need to leave", but I likewise didn't want to leave everyone there and go by myself. We finished the night at a much more comfortable salsa bar.
I will not set foot in that club again. I've been treated so well by everyone here so far, that I have to say I was really shocked. I'm attributing this incident to "i went to the wrong place", and there's really no loss in me never going there again. Moreover, I'm not ready to handle the responsibility of being in a fight. I have the same mentality back in the states, where I once saw a man get kicked to death in a nightclub. If there are no bouncers / bouncers do not have control over the environment / it is too crowded to have control, it's probably dangerous. What do y'all think? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
