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Gossiping

 
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 7:54 pm    Post subject: Gossiping Reply with quote

I've got kind of a delicate situation and am not sure how to handle it.

I am one of 9 hired to teach in different schools spread around several small towns. The only connection really is that we were hired by the same county, which employs a woman to be our 'support'.

Last Friday the supporter came by, all in a dither. It seems she received an e-mail from one of the other 8, saying I am unhappy here and am thinking of running away. Naturally she was concerned. (I've said nothing remotely resembling this and haven't even talked to any of the others in about a month.)

She refuses to divulge the name of the sender.

I'm annoyed about someone dreaming up a story and starting a rumor, trying to start trouble for me.

This feels SO junior high!

Any suggestions?
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periwinkle



Joined: 08 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 8:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Forget about it. Just do your job and forget about stupid little games. If you don't play, then they will find another way to amuse themselves.
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vlcupper



Joined: 12 Aug 2004
Location: Gangnam

PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 9:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you do find out who it is, just say something about him or her being a drug dealer on the Korean police's website. Twisted Evil



Periwinkle, I want to go where that cake is!
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Paji eh Wong



Joined: 03 Jun 2003

PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 9:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
It seems she received an e-mail from one of the other 8, saying I am unhappy here and am thinking of running away. Naturally she was concerned. (I've said nothing remotely resembling this and haven't even talked to any of the others in about a month.)


Maybe she's just goosing you to see what happens.

Just tell her its BS and don't worry about it.
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SPINOZA



Joined: 10 Jun 2005
Location: $eoul

PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 9:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wouldn't be quite so blase about it personally. I'd make threats, saying if you find out who did this, they're in the very deepest of *beep*. That's probably terrible advice, but if someone pulled something like that on me which I perceived as a threat to my reputation and job, I'd feel like stringing them up by their genitals and boiling them to death.

Someone has a grudge against you, Ya-ta. Either that or there's been a spectacular misunderstanding. Make it clear you're not a person to be f_cked with and people who mess around will face the consequences. Someone's taking the pi55 - crush them, the little weeds.
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ilovebdt



Joined: 03 Jun 2005
Location: Nr Seoul

PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 11:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think you should assure her that it isn't true and just carry on doing your job. Some people are so petty and jealous that they have to make up stories about others to enhance their sorry lives.

If this person keeps saying this to her, try and track them down and have it out with them.

Things like this really annoy me Evil or Very Mad
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RACETRAITOR



Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul, South Korea

PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 11:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How would these people even know? You live in different towns?

I say stop hanging out with them all. If anyone genuinely misses you, they'll try to figure out what's wrong.
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lbellamy



Joined: 12 May 2003
Location: Incheon

PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 9:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hi Ya-ta,

I'd be concerned. I had an ex-colleague tell complete porkies about me to my boss and it lost me my job, cost me millions of won and a heap of inconvenience and left me completely bewildered because the boss believed his lies despite me having a good track record of being truthful, reliable, utterly devoted etc etc. I was completely in the dark even till some time after being "preemptively" sacked and left stranded overseas.

But the good news is: you are not in the dark. She has let you know and is doing her job. This is F A B U L O U S. All credit to her. So you have an opportunity to befriend this co-ordinator by showing how much you appreciate her being candid, keeping you informed, showing her concern - and expressing your concern about her concern. If you really are happy with the job, use your alarm about this false rumor as an excuse to have your coordinator talk to satisfied students/parents etc. Reassure her in writing, show her you are approachable and open to lots of further communication about work stuff and help her do her job. She's just done you a great favor by at least letting you know what was said. Become her ally.

This will gradually discredit her source. You don't really even need to know who has tried to set you up. (Are they worth knowing?) Just focus on proving your credibility with her. However, do express your concerns and worries that someone has muddied your name and is trying to create completely unecessary inconvenience and concern for her, let alone you, for what reason you cannot fathom..... (This discredits the rumor mongerer).

The last thing the employer will want is the inconvenience of replacing you. They just need super high quality reassurance.

Wish I'd had the opportunity!!! However I was totally oblivious to what was being said behind my back and will never forgive that boss for not confronting me on the claims: especially after I'd taught 10 classes a day for her and a whole bunch of other stuff to help her out with a problem situation that was not my making, to the detriment of my own health.

It's only now, 5 years later, that I can say. Well I learnt something: If I'm ever in such a situation again.... I'll a b c.

But I'm not, so you get to act it out for me.

Let us know how it goes?
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lbellamy



Joined: 12 May 2003
Location: Incheon

PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 9:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sorry, accidentally double posted

Last edited by lbellamy on Tue Nov 01, 2005 1:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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djsmnc



Joined: 20 Jan 2003
Location: Dave's ESL Cafe

PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 1:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would spread rumors about all of them too, on the lines of "Billy has poopy pants!"
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eamo



Joined: 08 Mar 2003
Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.

PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 4:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I wouldn't be quite so blase about it personally


Huh!

It's nothing! Just another piece of BS in planet Korea.

Ya-ta. Forgeddabuddit.
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 5:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The only thing that concerns me about it is the impact on my relationship with my job/boss. So far, except for the panicky reaction from the supporter, there has been nothing else. I think it was just a minor bump on the road.
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