Korean Job Discussion Forums

[antoniothegreat]

I got this in an email, and thought it was worthy of sharing...

History began some 12,000 years ago. (Actually, it was 40,000 years ago.) Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/ gatherers.

They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization and, together, were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can was invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to barbeque at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly barbeques and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlymen.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.

Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern Liberals like imported beer (with lime added) (& foo foo coffee), but most prefer white wine or imported, bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard Liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: Most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, architects, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are Liberals.

Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game
hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, fighter pilots, athletes and generally anyone who works productively outside government.

Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production.
Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the Liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America.

They crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a Liberal will have an uncontrollable urge to respond to the above instead of simply laughing and deleting or forwarding it.

[Newbie]

Funny stuff, and sounds pretty accurate.

Wish it wasn't so geared to the USA though.

The first half sounds like a good descprition of the Canadian NDP (bleeding heart wankers) and Canadian Liberals (woohoo!)

It lost me though when it started hagging on Europe and praising domestic (American) beer.

Europe=good
American beer=not good

[billybrobby]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Uncyclopedia:How_To_Be_Funny_And_Not_Just_Stupid

[Hollywoodaction]

That was a rather funny spin on the fact that beer really was very important at that time (because of its nutritional value).

[EFLtrainer]

[joe_doufu]

That second one was boring and unfunny. Did you write it yourself?

[SuperFly]

[EFLtrainer]

[desultude]

I see that both stories speak of "men".

FYI- It was women who invented beer brewing- it was both a way to store grains nutritiously, and a form of household income. Prior to the industrial age, most families all pitched in to provide the livelihood.

With industrialization and royal licensing laws, women were prohibited from brewing, and licenses were required for the brewing "industry".

Just a little boring history.

[antoniothegreat]

[EFLtrainer]

[EFLtrainer]

[Ya-ta Boy]

[dogbert]

That's a shame, because women really do brew the best beer.

Toi Sennhauser, Master Brewer

[EFLtrainer]