Korean Job Discussion Forums

[n3ptne]

So a thought occurred to me this week, actually not sure why it took so long, but nonetheless here it is: I am the absolute coolest person my kids get to see/hang out with in a given week. The absolute coolest.

I don't even mean this arrogantly, but finally the thought occurred to me. These unfortunate kids spend all week studying, going from academy to academy and dealing with a host of strict tutors/teachers who just load the work on, and then they get one hour a week with me, a big and highly amusing white man.

Now I'm all about "enriching their educational experience" and doing a good job, but still, we end up laughing most of the hour. It isn't even hard, I can literally do everything they want to be able to do, and do it better than them. And in the midst of it all, get them to pay attention.

First it started with the eyelid trick. You don't know the eyelid trick? God you had a horribly deprived childhood. Just flipup the lid and it sticks... looks horribly disgusting, kids love it.

Then it went to teaching them all how to throw (apparently Korean kids suck at it as none of them have baseball gloves). Then theres the endless amount of funny noises I can make with my mouth, the finger whistle, the armpit fart, and the always popular being able to throw food up in the air and catch it in my mouth. Theres singing, making funny voices, piggyback rides, high-fives, going cross-eyed, writing in cursive (your name or their korean name), playing funny songs on the radio, teaching them funny rhymes, playing the "I got your nose game", the handslap game, and other cheesy handbased tricks. Just too many to list.

After all that... theres trying to say things in Korean, for some reason the kids find nothing more amusing. Except a hairy chest. Never in my life have I gotten a more shocked response out of a room of kids then by lifting up a tshirt. Literally, they screamed so loud they probably could have been heard a block away from the open windows. The other day a mailman lady (i refuse to be PC with that one) was banging on my door and woke me up. I stumbled to the door shirtless, opened it to find her staring down at the envelope (which was addressed to a Korean) and said hello. She literally jumped three feet when she saw me... thats what you get for assuming, you make an ass outta yourself and some guy named Ming.

Buy them some food ocassionally from the awesome little street vendors outside at $0.20USD a pop, bring in candy. Tease them. Arm wrestle five or six at a time. Paper football goes over big. And I'm not a big fan of homework. I give it out, maybe 60-70% of the time. The rest of the classes I have them work in class on a workbook, or writing excersise, and then at the end of class announce that what we just did is the homework. Most were confused the first few times but they seem to be catching on. This way on paper I gave them an assignment, and the following day their Korean teachers will see that they all completed it... but, well you get the idea, and so do the kids... I don't think they'll be ratting.

I still haven't inducted anyone into the PEN15 club, but not a day goes by that I don't think about swearing in the entire god damn academy. I still gotta reteach myself stupid card tricks... but you get the point.

All of this has made work, more or less, the most enjoyable part of my week. Weekends are actually boring because I miss screwing around with the kids and theres only so much time you can spend in a bar or on a hike. I don't want to give the impression that all I do at work is screw around, but out of a 50 minute session I figure if I can get them to actually pay attention and learn for 30, leaving 10 at the beginning and end for laughs, then I'm doing alright.

[Corporal]

I was with you up until the part where you started missing the kids on weekends.

Oh, and the hairy chest has never really been an issue.

[kermo]

Dammit, now *I* want to hang out with you too. I'm really not too sure about the part about the PEN15 club though... what's that all about?

[n3ptne]

You dont know the pen15 club?!?!??!?!? You had an even sadder childhood than someone who doesn't know the eyelid trick.

Well... I shouldn't tell you, you arent supposed to be able to join after a certain age, but... just this once. Take a ball point pen and write "pen15" on your hand, then viola, you're a member.

[kermo]

[n3ptne]

No but having a few hundred Koreans running around with "*beep*" on their hand would be of similar quality... only difference is the no jail thing.

Funny thing though... reading Animal Farm with one of the kids for our private sessions (averaging about 4pages a session, still waiting on my internet shipment of books, but now shes addicted to the story, go figure)... having to explain the "and she never regained her figure after having her fourth foal" was pretty funny, though she actually got it rather quickly, and used her mom (my boss) to tell me what it meant. Ha.

Its better than the "What would you do to protect someone from a rapist" circa the Talk Talk Talk book... I laughed so hard when I read that.

[joe_doufu]

[Swiss James]

good post- kids need to have fun so kudos to you but...

[n3ptne]

Oh I do the up high, down low, to slow, on the side, behind... I'm all over the place with the high fives.

Gonna teach them groovy paper airplanes next, not the crap ones they build.

As for the rudeness of the sign? I don't really care, the game only works with the little ones, and as for the older ones... I've taught them how to give the finger in a few different languages. Haha. They like the Italian way best.

Saw one of them give someone the finger in a class and used it as a bridge to talk about the rest of the world. Worked out pretty good, and so far I haven't seen any of them walking around the hallways doing it.