Korean Job Discussion Forums

[jacl]

I don't like associating with people too much in Korea. Like hanging out or whatever. Be it they're Korean or foreign. I'll hang out with foreigners but it always seems to go south. I'll get offers to hang out with Koreans. Phone numbers, etc. But I never call them. It's funny how people come on too strong or you just don't click in. Takes a while to make friends. Not that I care that I do.

I could go on, but I'd like to hear others opinions based on what I wrote and elaborate/respond later. Maybe a lot depends on age or other things.

What do you think?

[Ya-ta Boy]

You have a point, jacl.

a) You can meet some way-gook saram on the street who is your instant best friend. Those friendships last until you find out he/she has the world's largest collection of Rice Krispies boxes.

b) You can hang out with other way-gook saram just because they have a white face and can make a wise crack about Koreans and everyone else snickers. That is highly fulfilling.

c) You can hang out with other way-gook saram because they are the only white face in the neighborhood...read 'neighborhood' as within 24 subway stops.

d) Heaven forbid that you hang out with Koreans. If you wanted to hang with Koreans you could have gone to your local Korea Town back home without the inconvenience of actually doing any work for the money. What a waste.

e) You can hang out with your Korean instant best friend because he/she can speak enough English to help you out at the subway ticket box.

OR...

You could act pretty much like at home and evaluate each person on his/her merits as a human being and whether they have some of the same interests as you do.

[jacl]

Different people have different tastes or quirks. It's fucked up. The first waygooks you meet and hang out with are ok and all, but they just rub you the wrong way or do things that you don't want to do or something.

Funny thing is is that it costs more money not to have a friend's to go over to if you just want to hang out and drink and shoot the shit. After awhile you go crazy (or I do living out in the boonies) and go out (or take a taxi to the nearest town) and drink yourself silly and don't even bother calling the waygooks that live there that you know 'cause it's just a pain in the ass. Wake up the next day and you just spent a wad of cash. For what?

It's hard to focus and save money here. You really need to spice up your home life and get all the gadgets. Good computer, stereo, CD burner, DVD player, etc. You need everything. Especially if you're planning to stay long and make real money. Nothin' on TV.

It's almost like you have all this time and money and the best way to spend it is to improve your work and home situation. I want to make my class computer interactive with instant translating and a projector screen, etc. Burn educational CD's for kids, etc. I plan on staying for a bit. Maybe 3/4 years because I know I can make good quid. But I can't go on just going to class with books and my noggin. I have this computer my boss gave me because he didn't want to get the microwave stated in my contract. It's used from a PC Bang. Piece of crap as far as I'm concerned with Windows and Office already installed. I'm limited to what I can do, really. I'm not goint to bother getting it "fixed".

That's about the scope of it for me.

I do, however, have my guitar and harmonicas. They are good friends.

Some people do click the right way. Be it they're Korean or waygook. One engineer I teach is going to help me when I buy my notebook computer. He seems like a cool dude. Maybe I can finally meet some people somehow. Not a priority in a sense though.

[Wrench]

I had very slim success with Koreans. I don't really see any waygooks where I live. Also I am not the most social person in the world, I always have something to do at home. I also want to start my masters so if I am not preoccupied with searching for friends I will be happy.

[tomato]

Jacl, I am often suspicious that the Koreans are merely trying to use me as an English language resource.
Are those your feelings, too?

[jacl]

I don't have anything against that per se. Maybe in some cases you can tell that the person is kind of fake or just annoying.

This older guy comes up to me in a bookstore and strikes up a conversation with me. He's an engineer, blah, blah. Been to Canada, blah, blah. I give him my cell, etc. I don't care about giving out my info. I just felt the guy came on too strong. Then he calls me like the very same night and the next day and maybe one more time. He has a family and kid(s) and he said something about inviting me to his home. I would've went for it seems I don't care too much. Probably could've gotten a job out of it. Teaching his daughter or something (he said something to that effect). But privates suck. Did them long enough in Taiwan to know.

Maybe he was immigration. Wouldn't surprise. Oh well. I don't have anything to hide.

I got an email a while back from a Korean "Hello, do you remember me? We met at a bar in so-and-so city. I would like to meet again. My English is not good, etc." I replied saying that I didn't remember and that I was very drunk that night (true) and that I would like to meet sometime. Never heard back. Could've been a hot chick. I don't know. I can't tell by the name and neither can anyone at work.

[dulouz]

I have a very different definition of success with the Koreans. I have few friends as you refer to them but I have some. If I can't talk with them, I can like you but I won't hang with you. The people are fine but the company is tedious, none the less I do have my evenings of drinking soju etc and chewing on squid and fried pork. Thats real homey.

My success comes from my neighbors, not "friends". Those people are the people in my alley that run the grocery store, the kimbab stand, the laundry, the chicken and beer place and the hardware store. These people know me and see me everyday. They take care of me. They wash my clothes, feed me, sell me the things that we need and take care of my apartment. They know me intimately. Its more than just a customer-merchant realtionship by now as we look forward to seeing each other even if we can't talk to each other.

I went away for two months. I came back tan and lean and carrying my backpack. On the way up the hill that is my alley, I got that smile that is reserved only for very close friends. They subdued it I think because I'm not an overly affectionate person but none the less it leaked out and it was genuine and I'm really happy about that.

[joe_doufu]

I'm finding it hard to make friends here. This is definitely *not* like China, where just showing up in a bar usually means somebody will buy me a drink, or Taiwan, where all the nightclubs waive the cover charge for a stylish devil like me, or Hong Kong, where the judges of my Toastmasters group always preface their comments with "What a handsome guy". Here Koreans and Westerners alike treat me like I have leprosy... they're polite, but definitely keep their distance.

[bestyoucanget]

I agree.....do you make friends just to make friends....would you be friends with that same person back home?........in most cases prob not?..........I have been here for a while, used ot have lots of good friends, but as they have left, and now im married, havent had the energy to make new friends.........i guess if you go out a lot u will meet a few decent people...............

[jacl]

[SPINOZA]

Jacl,

You are to being interesting what Ted Bundy was to feminism.

[jacl]

[tomato]

Jacl, how do you manage to live in the country?

I wish I could.

[jacl]

tomato,

Well... I guess I just do. But, maybe what you imagine is country is different than where I am. I live in a town about 15/20 minutes from a larger city of about 100,000. There are 3 supermarkets right near me. I bought a bike, guitar and have a computer. There's no nighlife for me to want to bother with it. It's not like I can go out and hook up with anyone, really. When I want to paint the town red, I go to the nearest city. I have a couple of friends there. One guy who has a big apartment lets me crash there. These two guys are a little older than me. Only thing is that when I go there I end up blowin' a good stack of cash from scratching at the walls here. I think I went five weeks without going there. That city has a Lotte Mart and I can buy some decent groceries like hamburger and saussages, Heinz ketchup, etc. My apartment is pretty cool so I'm just going to concentrate on making it more homey. Need a couch and sattelite TV. My computer is the shits since it was provided from work, but I'm getting a good laptop in a couple of weeks so I can dowload movies and music and all the good things you can do with a computer. I don't even have sound on this one (used from a PC Centre). Tried playing a movie (Mr and Mrs Smith) on CD that a student gave me (burned) and it was all shaky. I'll be able to burn things for the kids at school and do many other things with the computer at work in the classroom. I asked my boss to set up the net right in my classroom and I'll give him this computer back. I plan on being at that job for another contract so... The pay is good here so it's an incentive to stay. There's going to be a Lotte Mart type of thing here in the near future. Maybe in a couple of months.

Before, I didn't live in this small town, but on the other side of the school in a small fishing village. That was a pain in the ass. I moved here in August. The fishing village area had no supermarket (just a convenience store that closed at various times). There were a bunch of restaurants, but all seafood except for one Chinese restaurant and a chicken house. A popular tourist spot, but not much to do. Across the cossway there was another more toursity spot, but still pretty boring except for karaoke boat rides and beaches on islands.

There's a video shop here, but the selection is pretty low. Two pool halls but one doesn't have any pocket tables and the other has one. There's a bowling alley, but I've never been. The other teacher (a woman) has been. I'll have to go there sometime, but we never end up doing anything. She has a boyfriend in Seoul. He was here this weekend and I lent them my VCR 'cause her's is on the fritz. Plus her brother's her visiting since a couple of months or more ago. We're not the same age (I'm older) so... And she goes to Seoul a lot on the weekends.

So, this place is pretty boring. The hagwon is not walking distance. A driver picks us up everyday and drives us home, but I take my bike in sometimes. My first class is at 2:30, but I'm supposed to be there at 2. When I take my bike, I come in after that. Only takes me about 10 minutes. Have to use the highway. Pretty dark at night coming back though. A scooter would be pretty dangerous (too wide). I may get a motorcycle or car at one point. My days end at either 9 or 10 and I stay up all night on the computer with the TV on. Wake up and practice the guitar and take a shower at the last minute. I also study Korean a little bit on the net (johnwasham.com). I guess this area provides a good environment to study Korean.

[Ya-ta Boy]

jacl,

Now that you have given more information, I think I understand better.

Forgive me if I'm completely off, but it sounds like you are depressed. The way I read your posts, you are sending conflicting messages. At some points you sound like you want to meet people and make friends, but at other points you sound like you don't have the emotional energy for it.

If this is completely off the mark, just stop reading and go on to something else. If there might be something to it, read on.

Are you getting enough sleep? Staying up all night and then sleeping during the day makes sure you can't get out and meet people during the day.

Are you eating right?

Are you getting enough exercise? Except for riding to work sometimes, you didn't mention any exercise.

You might consider going to bed at midnight and getting up at 8 or 9 and going to a gym, joining a class in your town for Korean cooking or art. These things take place even in very small towns. Check the community centers for information on what's available. These things also would get you out where you could meet people.

Whatever is going on, good luck.