joe_doufu
Joined: 09 May 2005
Location: Elsewhere
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 Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 6:26 am Post subject: humor about consultants |
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This made me laugh today:
| Quote: |
> Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that
> the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It
> seemed a little strange, but I ignored it. However, when the busboy
> brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt
> pocket, then I looked around the room and saw that all the staff had
> spoons in their pockets.
>
> When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"
>
> "Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting,
> experts in efficiency, in order to revamp all our processes. After several
> months of statistical analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most
> frequently dropped utensil. This represents a drop frequency of
> approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel is prepared to
> deal with that contingency, we can reduce the number of trips back to the
> kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
>
> As luck would have it I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it
> with his spare spoon. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the
> kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was rather
> impressed. I had also noticed that there was a very thin string hanging
> out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters
> had the same string hanging from their flies My curiosity got the better
> of me and before he walked off, I asked the
>> waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right
>> there?"
>
> "Oh, certainly!" he answered, lowering his voice. "Not everyone is as
> observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we
> can save time in the restroom." "How so?" "See," he continued," by tying
> this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out over the
> urinal without touching it and that way eliminate the need to wash the
> hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."
>
> After you get it out, how do you put it back?"
>
> "Well," he whispered, lowering his voice even further, "I don't know about
> the others, but I use the spoon." |
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