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khyber
Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Compunction Junction
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Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 4:52 am Post subject: i think i may have done something i disagree with |
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My head teacher has some serious problems upstairs (i've mentioned it earlier).
Well, today was one of those, I prolly shoulda stood up to her days because i look back and i think it's pretty lame.
The situation:
Our school managed to set up pen pals in oz. 35 students DID get letters....sadly, about 8 didn't.
Instead of just dropping that on the students, my head teacher suggested I forge replies from kids in australia. Actually, she didn't want to deal with the whiney.
Now i personally did NOT feel very good about that. I had other suggestions (i am trying to set up ANOTHER network in canada) but she would have nothing to do with it. I felt kinda terrible while i did this.
I did it. Now my coworker (foreign) is complaining that i was being manipulative. I'd agree that it is manipulative and i don't like that i did it.
Yet, here it is...done and irreversible.
What REALLY burnt my ass is that my coworker accused me of acting EXACTLY like our head teacher.
That sorta put things in perspective.
So now i feel terrible. It's not like the kids are gonna figure it out.... they are sufficiently disguised.
two questions:
1) Do you think what i did was bad/manipulative/reprehensible/fine in circumstances/stupid?
2) Have you done things here that you are unsure whether you agree with ..then in retrospect realize it was a sh$$$y thing to do. |
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C.M.
Joined: 02 Dec 2005 Location: Gangwondo
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Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 5:51 am Post subject: |
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To question "a"; another possible answer is that you ultimately consented to forge the letters so that the feelings of a child might be spared some discomfort, a reason which contains a certain nobility. Your head teacher had her reasons for suggesting forgery; were your reasons the same?
To question "b"; I was busted up once about a mistake I had made but then a good man said, "its called being human." (Someone also once wrote, and I love this line, "I am human and so nothing human is alien to me." Of course a bit over-much for the circumstance, but the general point, I think, is still relevant).
To you and your co-worker; "Manipulative" is a bit strong. Viewed from the standpoint of pure Principle, the letters should not have been forged. But is the answer the same if the question is asked when considering the feelings of a child (if in fact that was what you were considering)? I think the answers would be different and so I don't think you did anything too terribly wrong. Afterall, who wants to be the one to tell a kid there is no Santa Claus?
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ontheway
Joined: 24 Aug 2005 Location: Somewhere under the rainbow...
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Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 6:24 am Post subject: |
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The main problem with the forged letters is that the kids might want to write back again to their pen pals.
It's easier to be honest. Just explain that not everyone will write an answer to a letter. It's the real world and they'll understand. Then, just give each of the kids with no reply a photocopy of one of the other letters and let them share pen pals. |
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khyber
Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Compunction Junction
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Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 6:34 am Post subject: |
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wow....two replies that have pretty much summed up the need for this thread.
It's fully possible that the head teacher WAS trying to spare the children some pain but it wasn't until I was finished when she finally said, "i want to be careful of the students' minds". Before it all started, she was very concerned with having to listen to the complaints.
And I just...literally JUST now found out that this was only going to be a one/two off thing (ie...no more than two email exchanges...).
Gets me to thinking, what is the point in getting a "penpal" to exchange one letter? |
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jacl
Joined: 31 Oct 2005
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Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 7:32 am Post subject: |
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I think that it's just stupid. If they didn't get replies, too bad. That's life. The head teacher should write them up herself. I might write them, but I'd ask for 20,000 Won/letter for the mental anguish and the time it takes to do them, give them to the head teacher, and let her do what she wants with them. |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994
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Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 3:21 pm Post subject: |
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Now my coworker (foreign) is complaining that i was being manipulative. |
It's the coworker's behavior that irritates me.
I would probably b**** and moan about having to write 8 letters, but it wouldn't be about forging them. I'd be mildly put out at the head teacher for insisting on doing the letters. She (?) got out of listening to the complaints and having to do the extra work. She got out of it easy.
It's the coworker that is being silly. Or something. B****-slap the guy/girl. |
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Grotto

Joined: 21 Mar 2004
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Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 3:34 pm Post subject: |
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Looks like another case of someone having to learn the magic word NO.
Dont be afraid to use it. You dont have to be snarky or nasty...just say sorry no.....no thanks....no.
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Now i personally did NOT feel very good about that. I had other suggestions (i am trying to set up ANOTHER network in canada) but she would have nothing to do with it. I felt kinda terrible while i did this.
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I think you said it all here...you didnt feel good about doing it....they refused to listen to other alternatives and you felt bad while doing it.
Just say no to stupidity! |
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jacl
Joined: 31 Oct 2005
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Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 3:56 pm Post subject: |
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... and any co-worker that makes a negative comment about/to you derserves a kick in the butt. No matter what. That's just totally unacceptable.
Just the fact that there's a head teacher is a red flag for that place. Like a manager at McDonalds or something. |
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