Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Ya-ta Boy]

I guess I'm in the holiday spirit and feel like laughing, especially at conservatives:

in totally random order....

ACLU
Bad, because they defend parts of the Bill of Rights

NRA
Good, because they defend parts of the Bill of Rights

Criminal
Someone who breaks the law, unless the law has anything to do with guns, selling arms to Iran, or refusing to pay your taxes. In those cases, you are a...

Victim of society
Any white male, especially a conservative one, who are suffering now more than any other race in all history.

Leech, Welfare bum/queen
Any person on the government dole, EXCEPT for corporations receiving tax write-offs, ranchers and farmers receiving subsidies, and defense contractors.

Libertarianism
Survival of the fittest, and if you don't like it, you don't deserve to survive

Liberal
Anyone who shows human compassion, or reads the New York Times

Christian
Anyone who is a member of the Christian Coalition

Godless Atheist
Anyone who is not a member of the Christian Coalition

The Homosexual Agenda
Gay people exercising their rights to free speech and to petition the government for redress of grievances

Grassroots citizens' movement
Conservative people exercising their rights to free speech and to petition the government for redress of grievances

Republican Party
A political party which welcomes all conservatives, as long as they are pro-life, pro-gun, and anti everything else.

Democratic Party
Communists

Gays, Feminists, Environmentalists, Immigrants, Blacks
These didn't exist until they were invented by liberals back in the 1960's

Washington
The heart of the Evil Empire.

Bureaucrat
A Democrat working for the government.

Public Servant
A Republican working for the government.

Rush Limbaugh
The leading conservative intellectual (do I really need to insert a snide comment here?)

Extremist
Bill Clinton

Moderate
Pat Robertson

Guns and Ammo magazine
Pornography for conservatives

Our Founding Fathers
The true heroes who persevered and founded a nation conceived in liberty, and who also share identical beliefs with Rush Limbaugh.

Religion
What should be taught at public schools instead of science

Evolution
A kooky cult started by Charles Darwin

Jesus Christ
An conservative Republican leader to whom some erroneously attribute the phrases "love thy neighbor" and "turn the other cheek" to.

Ronald Reagan
The greatest President ever.

Abraham Lincoln
Was a Republican when the party began 140 years ago, so he can be forgiven for freeing the slaves and suppressing states' rights.

States rights
The right for individual states to pass conservative laws without interference from Washington. Note: does not apply if states pass liberal laws.

Judicial activism
What liberal judges do.

Sound jurisprudence
What conservative judges do

Pro-lifer
Someone who is strongly in favor of preserving the life of children before they are born, but not afterwards.

Traditional Values
The classic values and morals that made America great, such as lynching blacks, beating up gays, and keeping the "little woman" barefoot and pregnant.

Pro-family politician
Any thrice-divorced Republican congressman late on child-support payments who is against gay marriage

Criminals Rights
Should be ignored unless said criminal is a member of wacko religious cult or is firearms dealer.

Liberal (2)
A conservative who has been arrested

Liberal media
Anything to the left of the American Spectator, G. Gordon Liddy, or Rush Limbaugh

Public Broadcasting
Rush Limbaugh (historical note: Newt Gingrich actually said this!)

Family Values
A mother and father who vote Republican raising two kids who attend a private school in the suburbs and attend a conservative church.

Subversive elements in society
Bookstores, coffeehouses, art galleries, and anything inside the city limits of a major American city.

RKBA
The Right to Kill and Bomb Americans

Special Rights
Constitutional rights for minorities you don't like.

Islamic Fundamentalism
The greatest threat to the Integrity of our Beloved Nation.(Fact: Limbaugh has said this on many an occasion)

Christian Fundamentalism
The greatest hope for the Integrity of our Beloved Nation.

Religion
Conservative Biblical literalism.

Cult
An institution that is not a RELIGION (see above).

Scholarship
Any work such as The Bell Curve, The American Spectator, or The Limbaugh Letter.

Liberal Ideology
Anything espoused in the work of Stephen Jay Gould, Noam Chomsky, or The Nation.

Big Government
Federal social programs that attempt to construct a more rational, fair society.

Proper Government
Billions upon billons of tax dollars wastefully spent on inefficient and otherwise prohibitively costly defense contracts, subsidies and tax breaks for corporations, and "The War on Drugs."
http://www.cjnetworks.com/~cubsfan/condef.html