Korean Job Discussion Forums

[fiveeagles]

While vacationing on a ranch, Paul Martin gets thrown
from his horse, and lands on a rattlesnake, gets
bitten and dies because the emergency room at the
nearest hospital is too understaffed to treat him in
time. So his soul arrives in Heaven and he is met by
St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Welcome to Heaven,"
says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there
is a problem. We seldom see a Liberal around these
parts we're not sure what to do with you. ""No
problem, just let me in; I'm a believer." says Martin.
"I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from
the Man Himself. He says you have to spend one day in
Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where
you'll live for eternity." "But, I've already made up
my mind, I want to be in Heaven," replied Martin".I'm
sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St.
Peter escorts him to an elevator and he goes down,
down, down, all the way to Hell. The doors open and he
finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course; the
sun is shining in a cloudless sky, the temperature a
perfect 72 degrees. In the distance is a beautiful
clubhouse. Standing in front of it is his Dad, and
thousands of other Liberals who had helped him out
over the years---Pierre Trudeau, Jean Marchand,
Pelletier, St Laurent etc. The whole of the "Left" was
their everyone laughing, happy, and casually but
expensively dressed. They run to greet him, hug him,
and reminisce about the good times they had getting
rich at the expense of 'suckers and peasants.' They
play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster
and caviar. The Devil himself comes up to Martin with
a frosty drink, "Have a Margarita and relax, Paul!"
"Uh, I can't drink anymore, I took a pledge," says
Martin, dejectedly. "This is Hell, son. You can drink
and eat all you want and not worry, and it just gets
better from there!" Martin takes the drink and finds
himself liking the Devil, who he thinks is a really
very friendly guy who tells funny jokes like himself,
and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like they
pulled on the GST and Free Trade promises. They are
having such a great time that, before he realizes it,
it's time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and
waves as Martin steps on the elevator and heads
upward. When the elevator door reopens, he is in
Heaven again and St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now
it's time to visit Heaven," the old man says, opening
the gate. So for 24 hours Martin is made to hang out
with a bunch of honest, good-natured people who enjoy
each other's company, talk about things other than
money, and treat each other decently. Not a nasty
prank or frat boy joke among them; no fancy country
clubs and, while the food tastes great, it's not
caviar or lobster. And these people are all poor, he
doesn't see anybody he knows, and he isn't even
treated like someone special! "Whoa, uncomfortably
to himself. "Pierre Trudeau never prepared me for
this!" The day done, St. Peter returns and says,
"Well, you've spent a day in Hell and a day in
Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for
eternity." With the 'Jeopardy' theme playing softly
in the background, Martin reflects for a minute, then
answers: "Well I would never have thought I'd say
this -- I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all --
but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends.
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes
down, down, down, all the way to Hell. The doors of
the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren
scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic
industrial waste, kind of like Sudbury. He is
horrified to see all of his friends, dressed in rags
and chained together, picking up the trash and putting
it in black bags. They are groaning and moaning in
pain, faces and hands black with grime The Devil comes
over to Martin and puts an arm around his shoulder. "I
don't understand," stammers a shocked Martin,
"Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and
a clubhouse and we ate lobster and caviar, drank
booze. We lazed around and had a great time. Now
there's just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody
looks miserable! The Devil looks at him, smiles
slyly, and purrs, "Yesterday we were campaigning;
today you voted for us!

[Wrench]

LOL

[The Man known as The Man]

That Benny Hinn is a tird and should do the world a favour and end it all

[Moldy Rutabaga]

Hehe.

Paul Martin is walking on the parliament lawn when he sees a little girl with three newborn bunnies. He asks the girl in fun, "Are they Conservative or Liberal bunnies?" The girl answers, "Liberal, of course." In a good mood, Martin walks away.

A week later, Martin sees the same girl with her bunnies and chuckles as he says, "How are the Liberal bunnies?" The girl answers, "Oh, no, they're Conservative bunnies." Martin is surprised and says, "But last week they were Liberal rabbits!" The girl replies, "Yeah, but now their eyes are open."

Ken:>

[fiveeagles]

[fiveeagles]