|
Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
endofthewor1d
Joined: 01 Apr 2003
Location: the end of the wor1d.
|
 Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 6:46 pm Post subject: the 'dave's fantasy bar' game... |
 |
|
the rules are simple. take a few of your favorite posters from this site, and put them on a night out together. all fictional, all for fun. i'll go first:
**********************************************************
rteacher: do you guys want to sit at the bar or at a table?
patchy: that��s just like you white people. you think you��re so superior with all of your furniture. i��m going to sit on the floor, because that is the korean way.
lemonade: me too. i hate korean furniture! i miss the chairs back home.
red dog: i��m with you. those chairs are partially made from animal products. i��ll have no part of the mass murder that is the furniture industry!
igotthisguitar: good idea. keep our heads under the windows. you never know who��s looking in.
rteacher: splendid! let us all sit in the circle of eternity and join hands, thanking vishnu for the wondrous bounty of��
lemonade: whatever�� who do i have to blow to get a beer in this place? i just can��t believe the service in this country. we��ve been here what, fifteen seconds already?
patchy: oh so now you know everything there is to know about bars. yeah, these koreans are so stupid because they haven��t assimilated 100% to what your mighty whiteness thinks the standards of a bar should be. please enlighten us as to��
rteacher: only rama can provide you with the enlightenment you seek.
patchy: more of this superior white person crap!
rteacher: actually, rama is blue.
igotthisguitar: blue people were recently sighted in a field not too far from here. the government hasn��t explained where they come from, but around this time last year, that very field was sprayed with ZX5061droxyproponol.
red dog: i bet they were eating meat. did you know that meat deoxygenates your blood, turning your skin blue, and makes your hair fall out, and causes cancer, and��
rteacher: by krishna! karma smiles upon you this day, igotthisguitar! I noticed the girl sitting at the table behind you is checking you out.
igotthisguitar: i��m well aware of that. my sunglasses have mirrors on them so that i can see behind me. there��s something suspicious about her. i wonder who she��s working for.
lemonade: no doubt some pimp. all of the girls in this country are whores.
patchy: this must be my lucky day! Now i��m sitting with the world��s top expert on prostitution! i��ll have you know, lemonade, that there are no prostitutes in korea. and the ones that are are forced into the profession by the occupying american forces.
red dog: meat is murder!
rteacher: hare krishna!
igotthisguitar: they can��t see me if i��m wearing my magic hat.
lemonade: grumble grumble koreans��
patchy: grumble grumble white people�� |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994
|
| Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 6:50 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I think we've just found out where the scriptwriting talent on this board has been hiding out. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Bulsajo
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
|
| Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 7:04 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I'd like to see an entire Soap Opera based on Dave's characters... "at the bar" most definitely. But also at Jeju, at Dokdo, visiting Inchon, Itaewon, DMZ, Everland, Fukuoka, Gold Coast, LA, the love motel, the sannakji restaurant, boshintang restaurant, etc. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Free World
Joined: 01 Apr 2005
Location: Drake Hotel
|
| Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 9:49 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Hahaha that was great! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
|
| Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:15 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Bulsajo wrote: |
| I'd like to see an entire Soap Opera based on Dave's characters... "at the bar" most definitely. But also at Jeju, at Dokdo, visiting Inchon, Itaewon, DMZ, Everland, Fukuoka, Gold Coast, LA, the love motel, the sannakji restaurant, boshintang restaurant, etc. |
(love motel?)
Yeah, it could be like a sit-com, like "Friends". But we'd have to call it "Enemies". And it won't be funny. It would be all about this large group of foreigners who travel around Korea together, fighting amongst themselves and with the locals. Seeing the sights, fighting & complaining, trying new foods, fighting & complaining, getting drunk, fighting & complaining, studying the language, and fighting. And complaining.
23 April 2006 @ 20.00 on FBS (Foreigner Broadcasting Service) -- ENEMIES: In this week's episode, the gang charters a boat to Dokdo to claim the troubled islets in the name of His Majesty King Dave, redubbing them "the Sperling Isles" or "the Sperlings", whereupon they quickly set about enacting laws against pushing, public spitting, screaming "hello! hello!", and making that annoying gum-clacking sound. Don't miss the boat as Enemies sets sail on an urpy voyage to fun, whining & international dispute settlement! Enemies, Sunday nights @ 8, only on FBS. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
flotsam
Joined: 28 Mar 2006
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 3:13 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Bulsajo wrote: |
| I'd like to see an entire Soap Opera based on Dave's characters... "at the bar" most definitely. But also at Jeju, at Dokdo, visiting Inchon, Itaewon, DMZ, Everland, Fukuoka, Gold Coast, LA, the love motel, the sannakji restaurant, boshintang restaurant, etc. |
..a room salon, the Blue House, the noraebang bus, teaching at a hakwon for yogurt delivery ladies(that they thought was a KAL air hostess school), a team-teaching seminar in Gyeonggi-do, sitting on the shoulders of that statue of Yi, Sun-Shin at Gwangwhamun watching the social detritus float by, a red neon cross retail outlet, an Apgujeong plastic surgery clinic waiting room, a mother's day at a Gangnam kindergarten, a Hankyoreh conference on whether the rapture or the revolution is coming first, and all the characters gathered together at the new Ministry of Kosian Integration to figure out how the newly designated and legitimated bi-racials could best be trained as an elite suicide battalion that will be used in the impending invasion of the Liancourt Rocks: think Silmido meets Cyclo.
__________________________
I've been browsing this site on and off since 1997 and only really started to pay attention in the past couple of months but this is the funniest thing I have seen here so far. All hail the OP!
My question: Endoftheworld, why the hell wasn't the Great Toad at the bar that night? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
endofthewor1d
Joined: 01 Apr 2003
Location: the end of the wor1d.
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:48 am Post subject: |
|
|
| flotsam wrote: |
I've been browsing this site on and off since 1997 and only really started to pay attention in the past couple of months but this is the funniest thing I have seen here so far. All hail the OP!
My question: Endoftheworld, why the hell wasn't the Great Toad at the bar that night? |
thank you flotsam. the great toad has a style of his own that i'm a little wary to try to mimic. also, he's not one of the posters on dave's who really jumps out at me like these others do. the five i chose were easy targets. my idea was that other people would join in the game with their own favorite posters. if the great toad is one of your favorites, please jump in. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
flotsam
Joined: 28 Mar 2006
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 5:29 am Post subject: |
|
|
| endofthewor1d wrote: |
| if the great toad is one of your favorites, please jump in. |
Hmmmm...a kind of favorite, yes. But as I mentioned in a post on another thread, I am still working on my Td.D in Toadese Languages and Cultures and need to get through this last colloquium before I attempt a protrayal... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
