Korean Job Discussion Forums

[periwinkle]

I can't help it. Unless I'm with other people, I'm paranoid. I wish I wasn't like this, but I've had various unpleasant, as well as violent, street episodes. Only one thing happened in Korea- the other stuff happened in big cities back home. Each time I was alone, and I was a hapless, random victim. Thus the reason for my paranoia. I also feel like it's going to happen again, and I'm worried next time it's going to be much worse.

Anyway, a guy approached me a few days ago. Actually, he followed me a bit. Almost everytime someone approaches me here, it's because they want something- bible beaters more than anything. So I'm wary. He started walking alongside me, and asked if he could talk to me, and I kept walking and said, "What is it?" I regarded him a bit suspiciously. He was really nice, and I chatted with him a bit. I was a little cold (not rude, though) when I said what is it, but after I realized he wasn't angling for anything, I was super nice to him, asked his name, nice to meet you, etc., etc.

My husband thinks I handled it well, but I felt bad that I was suspicious at first. If I weren't in a big city, I wonder if I'd act the same way. My husband also told me that guys will often follow women here. It's not considered stalking. Also, if a "ya-ta" guy tells you to get in his car, he said a woman shouldn't be alarmed. I've had guys do this to me a couple of times, and it freaked me out. The guy was driving alongside me as I was walking, as well. I had to change directions to get away from the guy. My husband said it's not a big deal. He said the guys are not being menacing (which I perceived), but he was interested in the girl, and was giving her an option. Get in my car, or don't. That's it. He also said the guys aren't trying to be offensive, that's just their way (in reference to the "ya-ta" guys).

I'm curious as to how others (especially ladies!) act on the street when you're by yourself. Do you watch your back? How do you react when people approach you? Are you usually wary, or try to be the friendly foreigner?

[Qinella]

[ilovebdt]

[periwinkle]

Guys that are like, ya, ya, come here (while they're in their cars). That was my husband's term for them. He says it works for some guys. I told him back home, any girl who would get in car with a stranger is~ well, you know. He also said it's not exactly uncommon for some guys to try to party with girls this way. Not my thing, that's for sure. I've read too many true crime books....

[JongnoGuru]

"Hey you, get in my car!" guy.

I think the ideal "street attitude" for all foreigners in Korea is the one demonstrated by that rather lanky, ebullient, borderline-hyperactive English teacher on EBS. The one who also does "toast" sandwiches.

[ilovebdt]

[TOGirl]

I think its strange that guys ask you get in their cars and what girl in their right mind would actually go yeah ok. I mean maybe I also watch and read too many true crime stories but really why put yourself at risk.

As for my attitude on the street, I tend to avoid eye contact with people and just go about my business. Maybe sometimes it seems unfriendly but looking approachable always brings weird guys my way. And I do watch my back but I'm not paranoid, I think I would call it more of an awareness of whats going on around me. I think that girls are more likely to be like this than guys though.

I don't mind people being friendly and talking to me, asking me where I'm from and stuff but today a girl and her mom were talking to me on the subway and I was happy to chat but when she asked for my phone number I didn't know what to say. I'm not anti-social but really I'm probably not going to be hanging with them so whats the point. It just seems so random to be giving out my number on the subway.

[pauly]

[peppermint]

I'm generally pretty aware of what's going on around me, enough to spot potential problems, like the slightly insane ajuma who yelled at me last week for crossing my legs, while I was taking the bus home. If I catch someone staring, I flash a quick smile then either move along or engross myself in whatever book is on hand.

[Ya-ta Boy]

As the resident Ya-Ta Boy, may I weigh in on this one?

As it was explained to me, a "Ya! Ta! Boy" (or "Ya, ta! Boy) is a rich kid driving around in his daddy's car picking up likely easy lays. Face it, not all superficial females are in high school back home.

These Ya! (Hey!) Ta! (Get in!) Boys are not to be confused with a slightly earlier incarnation known as the Orange Tribe. The Orange Tribe guys were rich kids who drove around in daddy's car picking up likely easy lays by bonking girls over the head with an orange. From what I gather, there was a time here when oranges were considered far too expensive for the average person. So offering a girl an orange was a way of indicating you were a rich boy. Clearly, it isn't only western women who try to marry up by offering sexual favors to rich boys.

You will notice that I deliberately mis-punctuate my name in order to set myself apart from these rich, but ethically low-class sexual predators. I would certainly never offer a girl an orange unless I had marriage on my mind.

[elynnor]

...

[maeil]

Ugh.

I felt entirely safe until last night.

I was walking home from my boyfriend's house around 1am, which I do most nights. I saw one man pissing on the sidewalk... okay, whatever. That happens in Korea. Almost immediately afterwards two men saw me, and walked towards me pulling out their junk. One of them grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards him - holding me with one hand and himself with the other. It was on an area of the sidewalk with a wall on one side and a barrier on the otherside, so it was difficult for me to get by them. I had to fight - kicked him twice in the shins, once in the --, and whacked him over the head with my bag before he let me go. Then I bolted.

I'm 23, female, white, blonde, tall, all that. I saw a middle-school girl running home as well. I'm so pissed off and upset and not really knowing what to do... whether it's worth telling the people I work with or not.

This is in Migeum, a neighborhood in Bundang. I'm not in downtown Seoul, I'm in an area with a bunch of upper-class families. I've seen guys whacking off in cars or elevators or alleys a bunch of times here, but this was the first time this happened to me.

I felt entirely safe, stupidly safe, until this happened. As someone who's been a victim before, I feel stupid for ever feeling that I was safe. I generally think that Korea is safer than most countries, but the number of incidences of seeing things I don't want to see here is much higher than what I ever experienced back home.

I'm done. I wanted to get this off my chest to someone - I guess it ended up being to anonymous faces.

[peppermint]

Maeil, really sorry to hear what happened to you. Glad to hear you got away safely and take care.

Korea is very safe in a lot of ways, I've never heard of anyone getting mugged, having their purse or wallet stolen (outside of the public schools anyway), injured or killed in any sort of dispute.

I suspect if a poll were done of women (Korean and foreign) about these kind of experiences, this place would lose it's "safe" rep very quickly.

[thursdays child]

Coincidence! I was just talking about this! ..... talking with some Korean friends about cultural differences about 'picking up' and how well one should know another before 'picking up'.

Anyway, I was surprised to hear about the success rate of just stopping a random girl on the street and asking 'how about coming with me?'..... just as my friends were surprised at my stories of conversations and things in commen etc....

But I feel fine here - noone has ever stopped me on the street.... should I be relieved or insulted???

[Demophobe]

Personally, I have never really given much regard to the street, but I guess, now that I think of it, I really think it's ok and useful.