Korean Job Discussion Forums

Muffin · Joined: 01 Mar 2006 Location: Turkey

I am fortunate to have some nice Korean friends here that I met in the UK. Some of them have been extremely kind to me, so this post isn't Korean-bashing. I just find something strange, if invite one of them, or as more often happens they invite themselves, I later find out they have invited a whole group of people to accompany them to my house!

They did this in the UK as well but for some reason I find it more stressful here. Sometimes they invite people I hardly know or don't even like much.

Is this normal in Korea? Where I come from the host controls the guest list.

Hosub · Joined: 17 Apr 2006

No. Its rude. Tell them to cease and desist.

doctor bacon · Joined: 31 Aug 2005 Location: Vancouver Represent!

Disgusting behavior. I had a lot of Korean friends in Vancouver and they never pulled a stunt like that. Of course, in Canada we teach our citizens common courtesy and good manners, but in Korea...

seoulsucker · Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 9:11 pm Post subject:

Yup, pretty normal.

jinju · Joined: 22 Jan 2006

doctor bacon · Joined: 31 Aug 2005 Location: Vancouver Represent!

Satori · Joined: 09 Dec 2005 Location: Above it all

jinju · Joined: 22 Jan 2006

demianamar · Joined: 08 Sep 2005

Yah, even worse I think....one of the girls that works in admin once drove me home along with a friend of hers and when we got to my place she said they're both coming up. Now, if they were friends and/or they spoke English, it'd be somewhat acceptable, and unlike here in Korea, I'm not instantly befriending eveyone at home based solely on the age similarity. So, I politely told them that I have dinner plans and that next time if they want to come over to give me notice because I don't operate the same way!

antoniothegreat · Joined: 28 Aug 2005 Location: Yangpyeong

as far as i know, that is rude, it is like back home, where they should ask you before inviting someone else. I would invite them one more time, and make a comment like "but i hate it when uninvited people come." and if they do it again, just kick them out, pretend someone called and you must leave, and dont invite them over again.

eamo · Joined: 08 Mar 2003 Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.

One of the benefits of living in a 'face-saving' country is that you can always say, "Sorry, but I have an appointment", and everybody will smile, nod and leave.

seoulsucker · Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 9:39 pm Post subject:

rothkowitz · Joined: 27 Apr 2006

I close the "house bar" when that happens.And put on motorhead.The first measure is more effective though.

Ya-ta Boy · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994

I once invited a couple of Korean friends for a Thanksgiving dinner. Six people showed up. We had to send out for paper plates. I threw on a pan and made an emergency batch of rice and filled 'em up with that while short-changing them on the turkey (there were only 3 turkey legs to start with).

Last fall I invited one co-worker for supper. In less than 20 minutes something like 17 more added themselves to the list. I'm not kidding.

Relax and enjoy it or go postal. Not many other alternatives.

I will say this in addition: For anyone who expects Koreans to know and abide by the customs at home, then maybe those people need to hop on the next flight home where you will be more comfortable. They ain't gonna know how it is done in Turnipville and you'd better get used to the difference without getting too upset about it; or just throw in the towel now while you're ahead of the game. They have you out-numbered about 48 million to 1. Really.

One way to look at some of these odd events is that they make a pretty good story once it's over. Unless you are only here for the money, some of these weirdnesses are why you came to Asia.

Muffin · Joined: 01 Mar 2006 Location: Turkey

I certainly hope I don't expect them to abide by my cultural norms but just find this habit a bit strange.

Less amused by the fact that the self-invited group this weekend let me down. Friday afternoon all was confirmed on MSN, 6 people (one of whom claims to know me, two I know very well and two moderatley well) were coming over at lunchtime. Did they show up? No they did not, apparently they had sent a text in the middle of the night which I did not get.

I had told my waygook friends I was busy, they left town and yours truly spent the morning shopping for her guests, rushed back for 1pm only to spend the rest of the weekend alone. If people invite themselves, the least they can do is show up after you the press ganged host, has deleted all other social options. Grrrrrrr.