Korean Job Discussion Forums

kermo · Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 8:11 pm Post subject: Groped on the street last night

So I've been in Korea for about a year and three quarters, and had a brand-new experience last night. I was walking down the street with two guys (neither of them really tough-looking) at about 10 o'clock after the Korea v. Senegal game. It's the main downtown street, quite well-lit, not too busy, broad sidewalk. I'm wearing a very loose white cotton peasant blouse-- not form-fitting in the least or meant to draw any attention.

As a man approaches and passes me, I realize too late that his hand has shot out to cop a feel, and I whirl around to see his arm still outstretched, floating back down.

Too bizarre. I don't think I even made eye-contact with him and was completely caught off-guard. I gave a little yelp, as I would have if a friend had jokingly goosed me, then realized what was going on. I yelled angrily "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" (wrong tense, I know, but my brain was a few steps behind). The guys with me didn't even see it happen. A couple of women stared at me and at the man who continued to walk casually away. I didn't chase him down and kick his ass. I just fumed at his audacity for the next few blocks, and wondered why the hell he picked that moment, and what I should have done.

riley · Joined: 08 Feb 2003 Location: where creditors can find me

You had two guy friends with you and when you told them, what did they do? If they did nothing, then get new friends.
Seriously, react faster next time. It's tough when it happens that first time because it's such a surprise but be prepared for the next time. Good luck on stopping them or getting revenge. I say as he walks past you, kick him in the ass.
****
Sorry, on further thinking, realized the above makes it sound like it's your fault in some way. That's not what I meant to say, but I'm sorry it happened and I hope that if it happens again, you'll be able to do something next time.

cubanlord · Joined: 08 Jul 2005 Location: In Japan!

I am sorry that it happened.

Yu_Bum_suk · Joined: 25 Dec 2004

If he's walking away pretending nothing happened try to slide check him in the back of the knees using your shin and grab both his hands from behind as he's going down. If he hits the pavement face-first or if his knee hits the ground with the full weight of your knee behind it you could really *beep* him up, especially if he's already drunk and tipsy.

Oh wait, this is Korea where you'd get sued for blood money instead of complimented by the police who'd make up a good cover story, like in a civilised country with a sense of chivalry.

red dog · Joined: 31 Oct 2004

That's terrible, Kermo -- I'm very sorry this happened to you. Although I was lucky, and nothing really bad ever happened to me in Korea, there were a couple of times when guys kind of grabbed my hip area and then disappeared too fast for me to do anything about it. (The first time I know it wasn't an accident, but by the time I realized what happened the loser was so far away I couldn't be sure who had touched me. The second time I couldn't be absolutely sure it was deliberate, but I think it was.)

I don't think there's much you could have done ... maybe called the police, if you got a good look at him? I imagine that it would be hard for them to do much about it, but you never know. Chasing him down might have put you in further danger. Really I'm not sure what can be done in situations like this, but I hope you're OK now. It is really upsetting to hear stories like this.

Lemonade · Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Location: South Korea

kermo · Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 8:40 pm Post subject:

kermo

Tilly · Joined: 17 May 2006

That's really terrible Kermo! I have often felt like a "target" here in Korea. One time, not that long ago, when I was on the subway a handicapped lady sat beside me and we had a little conversation, when I got to my stop and went to leave she grabbed my arm and started to claw me, she even broke my skin, nobody on the subway helped me (of course) they all just stared at me. Kind of typical for Korea, but it sure made me angry.

Anyways I think they guys you were with should have gone after that man (not to fight) but to scare him a little, he should be taught that he can't get away with crap like that!

Lemonade · Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Location: South Korea

red dog · Joined: 31 Oct 2004

Honestly, I think these things happen in every culture. Maybe the guys with Kermo could have helped her force the man to the nearest police station so she could make a report, and maybe he would have been intimidated enough to admit the truth. But it's hard for a lot of people to react quickly in emergencies -- there's no point in beating ourselves up for it. Anyway, good for you, Lemonade, for fighting back!

keithinkorea · Joined: 17 Mar 2004

Horrible perverts do exist here as they do in every country. Just because it doesn't leak into the English Kimchi pree(crap English media) doesn't mean it doesn't exist. In fact there was a documentary in Korean about subway gropers the other night.

Best thing to do would be give the guy a slap, but usually these cowards do it very quickly and then scarper. The shock and invasive nature of the act makes the victim feel powerless for a few seconds until the indignation sets in about what the perp did.

Most non korean girls I've met have encountered similar situations in the past.

Demophobe · Joined: 17 May 2004

Sorry to hear about that Kermo.

At least it's a bit less humiliating than those twisted freaks in Japan pulling down panties from under skirts. That is really messed up.

periwinkle · Joined: 08 Feb 2003

Sorry, Kermo- that sucks. I'm also surprised your guy friends did nothing, but sometimes stuff like this happens so quickly that it's hard for people to process it and take immediate action. I had that happen to me once in Boston. I was only 19, though, and I totally didn't know how to handle it, so I did nothing but stew about it. Evil or Very Mad

I was assaulted last year, and according to the police here, if someone slaps you or inflicts minor injury (like the woman that clawed Tilly), no charges can be pressed. The police were really interested whether I had been slapped or punched, because if you are punched, then you can do something about it. I would venture a guess to say it's the same regarding groping. Unless you have bodily injury, you are SOL.

I'll tell you what, though. Usually the first time something like this happens, you're unprepared. If it happens again, I'd bet your reflexes would be a lot quicker. Which is why self defense classes are good. If this happens to me again, the dude's gonna get an elbow jab. Some people say you shouldn't fight back- it's up to you. As for me, though, I was so hopping mad after the freak punched me that I started screaming at him. I also moved off the sidewalk into the street a bit, because they are unlikely to follow you inro the street. I fight back, because this crap has happened way too many times, and it sucks to feel powerless. I'm always on my guard. You can keep a key wedged between your knuckles, too. They can't see it, and if you're walking alone, it will make you feel better. Maybe you can't carry a stun gun, but everyone has keys. Wink

Sorry, Lemonade. Sounds like it would've been a good time to employ a roundhouse kick to your groper and his amused audience. Who would've been laughing, then, eh? Wink

mindmetoo · Joined: 02 Feb 2004

I saw some drunk 50ish greased up ajosshi try that with a young Korean woman on a subway platform. She was not silent about it either. What amazes me, however, is that lack of shame they betray. They just keep walking like "what are you complaining about? Not only is it my right but you should be so complimented."