Korean Job Discussion Forums

ed · Joined: 15 Jan 2003

it began a few days ago. I gave a woman a hug and when my wife saw it she got really angry.

this woman has been a friend of ours for a long time now and has been single for a long time, so months ago when she visited us I asked my wife and her if I could give her a hug and they both said yes so I did.

my wife has been angry for days now and says her friendship with the lady is ruined and occasionally she uses violence with me when her anger really flares.

now I'm wondering if I don't understand her reaction because she is Korean and I am Canadian or because I am man and she is woman.

what do you think?

Junior · Joined: 18 Nov 2005 Location: the eye

loss of face... Exclamation

Every little thing you do matters to a woman. Everything. .... Rolling Eyes

cubanlord · Joined: 08 Jul 2005 Location: In Japan!

Dan The Chainsawman · Joined: 05 May 2005

cut off her money supply she will straighten up in a day or two.

ed · Joined: 15 Jan 2003

she makes much more than I do.

when my wife later asked why I hugged her I told her that I thought permission was implied because of the last time.

I also said she looked good and I thought it would feel good for both of us.

I was wrong. the hug lasted 2 seconds and it was one of those A shaped pat on the back hugs she gave me, unlike last time.

as for the violence, I find it annoying but she is not strong so it rarely hurts.
she is lucky though that I refuse to be violent.

animalbirdfish · Joined: 04 Feb 2004

Her telling you that you could hug that woman was a test, man. What she really meant was, "I'm saying you can hug that woman but that means you shouldn't."

Just like when she says, "I told you could go out for drinks with your mates but you were supposed to read my mind and know that I wanted you to stay home, drink tea, cuddle and watch Sex and the City with me."

Best to always assume that:

1) You shouldn't hug that other woman.
2) You're doomed to watch Sex and the City (or insert her favorite show here) with her. Accept it.
3) She loves you and you can get back into her good graces.

I reckon this'll blow over for you in a little while, assuming your relationship was strong before it happened. Just be sweet as custard to your girl, hug her and only her from now on, and remember what the above poster said: "everything matters to a woman. Everything."

Dan The Chainsawman · Joined: 05 May 2005

Treading on eggshells might come to mind on this bird.

bigverne · Joined: 12 May 2004

Corporal · Joined: 25 Jan 2003

(*ahem* Jealousy is not restricted to Korean women only...)

All your wife really wants to hear is you swearing up and down that you love her, her alone, and will be faithful to her forever. She doesn't want a reasonable man-like comment such as: "but honey, I was only hugging this chick." Don't ask yourself what really happened--ask yourself "What does my wife want to hear?" and you'll be gold.

Also, what animalbirdfish said was right.

Junior · Joined: 18 Nov 2005 Location: the eye

Theres 2 approaches.

1) tell her to stop being so jealous, immature . Continue twingeing her jealousy buttons a little. make her hot, should pay off in firing up your love life.

2) Apologise profusely: prostrate yourself like the miserable specimen you are: and tell her all she wants to hear. remember, she owns you. she might be happy with this, or might shift the goalposts even further and you'll be doing the washing and ironing for a month.

Little things matter a lot to women. It can be a pain because things we forgot a while ago as totally insignificant get thrown back at us out of the blue. Sometimes its as if k-women demand a 100% perfect guy. I guess western women can be the same. gotta luv em

Yo!Chingo · Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Location: Seoul Korea

Start hanging out a lot more with your friends until she cools down. Once she sees that her reaction to the incident is driving you to stay away from her, she'll hopefully grow up.

RACETRAITOR · Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea

Oh yeah? I showed my wife this picture of me with a coworker and it sent her into a jealous rage. She wanted to go to my office and tell her that I'm her property.

I've got more too. I took pictures of a Korean-American girl getting her head shaved into a mohawk (in her bra), and she automatically assumed I was having an affair with this girl (and not the butch chick with the razor).

Her reasoning in both cases was that these girls were making these aggressive moves in order to move in on her territory. She considered it deliberately disrespectful, and sending a threat to her. Also, because I didn't resist/put the camera away and go home, I was showing them that I didn't love her.

Tiberious aka Sparkles · Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Location: I'm one cool cat!

Faught. Faught.

Can't not comment. Must point out...

Oh hell.

Sparkles*_*

Nowhere Man · Joined: 08 Feb 2004

Well, you DO practically have your hands in her pants...

Natalia · Joined: 10 Mar 2006

I'm sorry, but what the hell?

You have to ask permission to HUG someone? Shocked

I don't want this to be an 'all women are like that' discussion, because where I come from that kind of behaviour is laughable. Isn't it normal for friends to behave in this way (to comfort someone)? When you go out to dinner with friends or something, is it not perfectly acceptable to greet someone with a kiss on the cheek?

I can't remember myself, or any of my female friends, behaving like this even back in the melodrama that was high school. Rolling Eyes

It is a display of either extreme insecurity or extreme immaturity - or both.