Korean Job Discussion Forums

[JongnoGuru]

...or in other compromising positions.

Inspired by Korean lady entered my apartment, which sparked some interesting discussion of home security measures and general foreigner disconcertment with the "su casa, mi casa" ways of our gracious hosts, I thought a thread devoted specifically to the embarrassment provoked by such episodes was in order.

So let's hear it. What's the worst/freakiest/most disturbing domestic scene you ever stumbled in on (it needn't be sexual), AND what was the worst/freakiest activity you were up to when someone barged in unexpected? So it's a two-part question, and everyone must submit to the Inquisition.

Oh yes, no tips on doorlocks or deadbolts, please. Save those for the other thread. And no panties-in-a-bunch rants of "how dare they!" or "why, if they tried that back home, granny'd fill 'em full o'buckshot, by cracky!" That's also for the other thread.

MY PANTS DOWN
Lazy summer weekend afternoon. Temperature high, humidity nasty. A girl and I had just taken a shower to cool off. In that weather you don't towel-dry yourself; you lie down damp, au natural, and train a fan or A/C on you. I didn't have an A/C at that place, but I did have a giant electric fan in the livingroom, so we lay on bath towels under the fan and slipped into a light slumber. The windows and curtains were open to allow a breeze, but the voiles were drawn for privacy.

Suddenly and in rapid succession, there's the jangling of keys, the knock, the Yoboseyo!, the twist of the doorknob, and quicker than you can say 'miscegenation', the front door swings wide open and in march: Landlady-Ajuma, Stranger-Ajuma, and Son of Stranger-Ajuma Who's Looking to Rent My Place After I Move Out.

It wasn't like they opened the door, stood outside and peered in to see if anyone was home. No. It was like passengers on Seoul Subway Line 2 at rush hour, bursting out the doors whether they want to get out at that stop or not.

My place wasn't all that big, so they were basically upon us by the time we were fully awake and aware of what was happening. And we were stitchless, so there was nothing left to the imagination. But still, we grasped & fumbled frantically at anything we could find to fashion our temporary loincloths ... hand towels ...pillows from the sofa... our hands.

Naturally I was shocked and embarrassed and mad. But the girl with me -- prim and proper, just my type -- took it extremely badly and vowed never to come to my place again. And she didn't until I moved out and elsewhere. It was back to renting yogwan rooms around the city for awhile. She simply couldn't bear my landlady (who lived upstairs) ever seeing her again after that episode.

THEIR PANTS DOWN
I was renting a bedroom in another foreigner's big apartment. I had so few clothes that I was able to convert the closet (yep, a real closet) into my "home office", and I bought a middle-schooler's desk because that was the only size that would fit in there. I wasn't literally working inside the closet. My chair was outside, but the desk took up the entire closet interior. Anyway, it's funny/difficult now to imagine a time when the Guru and all his worldly belongings could squeeze into that dinky bedroom. *sniff*

But I was working like the proverbial dog then, and was rarely home even on my days off. So I come bounding home from work one night. It may have been a Saturday as I recall being especially upbeat. I step inside, take off my shoes, and I notice something is strange. The lights are on, so I'm not the only one home, but there's no sound from the TV or music from the stereo. That is VERY unusual for that home, particularly in the early evening, particularly on a weekend.

As I walk into the living room, the first thing I see is my foreigner flatmate sitting alone at the kitchen table way down at the far side of the room.

Me: Yo, wazzzaaaaap!! (yes, I was years ahead of my time)
Him: Hello, Guru. (in a quiet, morose tone of voice)
Me: (hmm)

The apartment's floorplan was such that you'd see into the kitchen area in the distance first, and then as you entered further you'd see around a partition wall and into the livingroom and the sofa. So as I walked through the livingroom on my way to my bedroom, I glanced back and saw sitting on the sofa, arms folded, unsmiling, and dead-serious looking:

-- Three neighbours from nearby apartment units (all friends of my flatmate)
-- The brother of my flatmate's (Korean) girlfriend
-- One of my flatmate's friends from work
(yeah, it was a long sofa)

Sensing that something unpleasant was up, I forced a stupid smile and said "Hi!". Nobody answered me, but I got a few stern "hello and keep quiet" nods. Trying not to appear too obvious, I glanced away from the row of human statues on the sofa and scanned the room for clues. They landed upon a phone jack that was dangling out from the wall by it's wire, with little bits of white paster around it. Looked as though someone had disconnected the phone, not by depressing the plastic tab, but by yanking the wire straight from the wall by force.

Me: Hey, what happened to the phone? (WRONG question! )

Nobody answered. I went into my bedroom, put down my briefcase, hung up my jacket & tie, and went into the bathroom. This didn't take me through the livingroom again, but it did take me nextdoor to my flatmate's bedroom. And from the hallway outside I could hear a girl -- my flatmate's girlfriend -- inside, seemingly leaning against the door, sobbing quietly.

In the bathroom I started to fill the sink to wash my face, and as the first trickle of water splashed on the basin I noticed a thin, reddish swirl in the water. I didn't immediately think "Blood!" But I did a moment later after I saw a drop and then two drops of what I knew was blood on the bathroom floor.

After cleaning up what was was undoubtedly my flatmate's girlfriend's blood from the bathroom and then washing face & hands, I went back to my bedroom, sat down at my little middle-schooler desk in the closet, and began planning my escape.

I'm glad I didn't arrive home an hour or two earlier.

[kermo]

That's a mighty mysterious story, Mister Guru... are you going to continue? Why the blood? Did you escape?

[JongnoGuru]

Submit to the Inquisition yourself, Miss Kermo, and we'll see about that follow-up.

No, that would be unfair, as there really isn't much follow-up to it. They'd had a row, it got physical, and in the midst of it he smacked her across the face and gave her a bloody nose. As she called someone for help (probably her brother), he pulled the phone from the wall. The neighbours came down because the heard the racket. Why or when the co-worker showed up, I'm not sure. I was told that the Korean police had also been by before I got there.

No, I didn't continue living there very long after that, though I'd already been thinking of getting my own place for some time.

Now then, please tell us all about your pants-down experiences.

[periwinkle]

Regarding the first story, I hope your landlady profusely apologized and somehow made up for it. Them yogwans get pricey (if you go often enough, eh Guru? ). I would've handed the receipts over top the landlady and told her to cough up the cash. Now THAT would teach her lesson to be more patient next time around.

I don't have any stories that I can think of. Except the time my friend dropped me off in front of my villa (God, that was 5 yrs. ago...). I get some "Hello!s" shouted at me, which I ignored, as usual. Well, some dude followed me up the stairs (I didn't notice- he was stealthy), then knocked on the door. I opened it, and no one was there (I shouldn't have opened it- another case of hindsight being 20/20...). I close it, then I get another knock. I figured it was my boyfriend (whom I thought had maybe come over to surprise me), so I stupidly open the door again. There is a note saying, "If u want me, open door and shout, "Hey baby! Come on!" I call my boyfriend, and tell him to knock it off with the stupid antics. He says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. I ask where he is, and he tells me he's at home. I had some more visits from my new stalker after that, but my contract ended soon after the first episode, and I changed schools.

I'd say that qualifies as an invasion of privacy issue. Actually, I'm not sure what you would refer to it as...

[kermo]

I would submit, but I can't think of a really traumatic incident...

Here's one where it only seemed like I'd been caught with pants down, but that was bad enough...

I was young, starry-eyed, in love and visiting my quasi-fiance's relatives' place. Everybody was there: cousins, aunts, uncles, grannies, grandpas, and I hoped that someday these would be my cousins and aunts too...

After dinner, the family settled down to a game of cribbage, but excused my paramour and me to an adjoining room and generously gave us a DVD to watch. It was "Four Weddings and a Funeral," which was quite touching and cute, but unfortunately the credits were followed by an abysmal music video by the group 'Wet wet wet.' I was horrified, and let out a loud, gutteral groan. This produced a startling effect on the neighbouring room. The chattering and laughter halted, and I was left with the moan ringing in my ears, stuttering to find some damage control. "Ohhhh, that surely was a bad music video!" I lamely attempted...

The rest of the night was awkward but nothing was said. As soon as we were out the door, I asked my boyfriend's notoriously open-minded mother if she had heard anything. She crowed in her Aussie accent: "Oh yeah! Grandma almost dropped her cards!"

So if I have been caught with my pants down, I haven't been alerted to this fact, but this was mortifying nonetheless.

[pet lover]

At my first hagwon, I had to share my bathroom with my boss, the bus driver, and the boss' best friend. They lived on the floor above me in a one-room smaller than mine and didn't have a shower...just the building's public bathroom on that floor. I lived in a small room INSIDE the hagwon that was also often used as a Korean Teacher Kitchen, a Relax and Watch My TV Room, and a Take a Nap on My Bed Room. None of this bothered me as we were all very friendly and like a family. HOWEVER, because people were always in and out, I usually left my door unlocked even while taking a shower because the bathroom door was right next to the entrance, so it was easy to reach out and lock the door before coming out.

ANYWAY.....we discovered that the lock on the bathroom door was useless when my boss' best friend walked in on me while I was taking a shower. He didn't just gasp and shut the door, oh no, he opened it wider and LAUGHED as I threw the soap at him and then tried to spray him with the water. Then he finally left, because he was worried because he knew I believed in revenge.

I got it three weeks later (made him suffer and watch his back 24/7 until then). While he was taking a shower, I sneaked in, opened the bathroom door, stuck my arm in (had a camera in my hand) and took a picture. Then I RAN and didn't come back until I had met one of the Korean teachers who took the film to the camera shop. I had a spare roll that I let the boss' friend "find" in my purse and "ruin". He thought he was safe.

The pictures got developed. The Korean teacher told me later that she was EXTREMELY embarrassed...she had thought that steam would hide everything, but I had apparently gotten an EXCELLENT shot that not only had his face but everything else. Hehehehehehehe....and he lived in that neighborhood. I never saw the picture. The Korean teacher gave it to him to prove that there was one and then SOLD him the negatives. We went out to eat on that money.