Korean Job Discussion Forums

i can do · Joined: 10 May 2006

OK, so it's Saturday. I'm out in Hongdae, chillin. Get a call at about 1:50 from my Korean fam. I don't speak Korean, they don't speak English. I understand 'where are you', 'when' and 'going to uncle's house'. So then I'm like, ok, pick me up at my house at 3:00. Then, 2:00, they call and say, 'change phone, hangook saram'. I'm with a friend who speaks Korean so I hand over the phone. After the convo is over, I learn that, hey, they're coming right here to this coffee shop to pick you up. OK, never mind that I was chillin with a friend, but whatever. I haven't seen them in about two months and they really helped me out when I moved here.

So then they pick me up. All I have on me is my purse since they picked me up where I was at and not at home. So we get in the car and head who knows where. We go to an uncle's house whom I haven't seen since I was 4, to who knows where (dude, I'm talking somewhere out in the boondocks where there aren't even apt bldgs in sight). I'm like, 'Oh, this is nice. I get to see the family'. In total, four uncles and three aunts are here. None of my cousins are here. No one speaks English. I speak useless Korean. We chigae and soju it up. Time rolls by. I say, 'Hey, I'm going home. Where's the subway? Or the bus?' They're like, 'Tomorrow. Morning. Sleep.' I'm stuck here because when I walk out into the street, I see just that, a street. A traffic light far off in the distance. A small mass of bldgs far off. I'm in the coouuuuntry.

OK, so it wouldn't have bothered me AT ALL if I had just been told beforehand that I would be spending the night (my previous visits, the abrupt ones, have never included an overnight stay). I understand 'tomorrow' and 'sleep'. But I am extremely irate right now because I have no pj's, no toothbrush (and anyone who's eaten Korean food knows it just ain't right to be without that for a night), no face wash, and it's Saturday night! I'm really happy to see my family, but honestly, I'm angry that I have no choice but to stay.

What do you think? How would you feel? Anyone with Korean family been through similar experiences?

Cedar · Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 8:12 am Post subject:

For the future, learn more Korean, but I think, for now, try your best to enjoy it. You shouldn't be angry, I am sure they tried to tell you it was an overnighter, and it's great they are so willing to be with you despite your crap language skills.

uberscheisse · Joined: 02 Dec 2003 Location: japan is better than korea.

my first month in korea i was waylaid by a korean family. at first it was the most uncomfortable experience ever.

eventually i was warmed by the hospitality and trust placed in me. they left me - a complete stranger - in their house, gave me the run of everything, just upon the fact that a friend vouched for me.

of course it was weird at first - they were like "hotel?? what? no way, you're staying here!" all offended...

i just think it's a given that you're going to spend the night. korean folk find independence rather weird.

Privateer · Joined: 31 Aug 2005 Location: Easy Street.

It's a bit annoying now and puts you out but now you have a story to tell and it'll be a special memory in the future.

Anyway, I'm curious, when you say your 'fam', you mean your real family right, as in blood relations? You don't mean a homestay family or something do you?

Hosub · Joined: 17 Apr 2006

Oh? You don't understand Korean? Are you a Jaemi gyopo?

caniff · Joined: 03 Feb 2004 Location: All over the map

My advice:

Don't see them again for at least two more months.

I_Am_Wrong · Joined: 14 Sep 2004 Location: whatever

it's pretty obvious that it is the op's real family.

identity · Joined: 22 Apr 2006

quit whining.

MorgolKing · Joined: 18 May 2006

Yeah it may have been inconvenient but enjoy the little time you have with your korean family. You want have many more of those opportunities unless you plan on settling down in Korea. Also I would start learning more Korean, if you haven't already started--it's really a wonderful thing to speak to relatives you couldn't converse with before in your life. It's like having new family members.

Demophobe · Joined: 17 May 2004

I think the OPs' only 'problem' is youth.

Perhaps doesn't realize the value of family, how much the older aunts and uncles wanted to connect with them, upset at being holed up in the country (perhaps a great place for a nice walk) on Saturday night, missing their friends...

OP...I don't think you should bother being angry at their desire to see you, although it is a bit jarring....they just can't articulate their feelings to you, so they seem like, as you say, "kidnappers".

I would honestly bet that in their own way, are just trying to make you feel like family, instead of just being family.

MorgolKing · Joined: 18 May 2006

well put

gypsyfish · Joined: 17 Jan 2003 Location: Seoul

It's a compliment showing that they accept you so that's a good thing, but I completely understand the inconvenience.

Once, some Korean friends picked me up at 5:30 am to 'go to the East coast'. I figured we'd be home by 5:00 pm. I should have asked. I got home at 3:30 am the next day. We went to a train station where a famous (to all except me) soap opera had been filmed; we went to the beach; we went to some caverns; we ate lunch; we drove and drove and drove: we went for sushi, even though I said that I use raw fish for chum, not dinner. The Koreans all had a good time (at least until around 10:00 pm when we we driving around looking for the perfect sushi restaurant and I started complaining) and it was a normal outing.

On the one hand I really did feel good because I was having a real Korean experience; on the other hand it was driving me crazy. I wasn't close enough to any of them to spend more than twelve hours straight with them. But they were doing a kind thing.

In your case, it's family - an even more complicating situation. I suspect the best thing to do is to grit your teeth and try to appreciate it. (And try to limit it.)

eamo · Joined: 08 Mar 2003 Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.

I've been 'kidnapped' quite a few times by my wife and her family.

The situation of me saying, 'okay, time to go home I think', then her saying, 'oh no. We are staying here tonight' is very familiar to me.

I've had to train my wife to tell me in advance exactly what we are going to do with her family and to give me updates if anything changes. And they usually do change.

bijjy · Joined: 11 Sep 2005 Location: Daegu

Hahaha! Poor you. I'd be pissed not to have my face wash, contact solution, toothbrush, clean undies, etc. with me either.

It's cute though, how they 'kidnapped' you. It must be frustrating not to be able to communicate with them.

n3ptne · Joined: 14 Sep 2005 Location: Poh*A*ng City

Are you guys seriously that big of sissies?

Its one night without a toothbruth or face wash... who cares?

You hang out, drink a bunch of soju, go on a walk and pass out... wak eup in the morning and go home.

Seriously... where doyou people come from and what part of gratiousness don't you understand?

Most people need to adopt a "whatever attitude" towards life, the world would be a far better place. I can only wonder what life would be like for you in a truly impoverished country.