Korean Job Discussion Forums

[chilgok007]

Today I was on my break and hanging out with some female Korean friends who work at the English school upstairs when one of my Korean co-workers tipped my boss off, prompting her to fly upstairs in a rage and chew out the manager of their school for letting his workers hang out with a Westerner (the boss upstairs had no choice but to take it, coz my boss owns the entire building consisting of several different Hagwons). I was then called into my boss's office and told I was not to talk with Korean girls in the city I work in (Chilgok), and could only meet girls in downtown Daegu. Despite saying "my personal life is my own f***ing business" over and over again. She kept saying "this is Korea, in Korea you must follow Korean custom, and if you play with Korean girls on your free time, then Korean parents will complain." She lectured me on acting professionally and upholding my duty to the school. She then proceeded to bad mouth the girls (who are my closest Korean friends, and some of the nicest people I've ever met). She said they were "bad people," that they were "wild," and that they were "only being my friend to learn English off me" (none of which is true...granted they don't fit the stereotype of good conservative Korean girls, by Western standards they are downright prude. And, they teach me way more Korean than I teach them English). The whole time I was absolutly dumbstruck. I knew my boss was monster, but this reaches whole new heights.

I also found out my school is in the red and ripe for a blacklisting to put this mutha-f***ing biatch out of business for good. It's just about that time. It's also about time to start smashing s**t

[Dan The Chainsawman]

Hmmm....................

Are these friends worth ending up in the clink over?



didn't think so.


Might want to quietly just hand in your resignation and find a position elsewhere. You can make a big fuss, but it will be all for jack all nothing, and in the end nothing you will do or say is going to change your boss's mind.

[chilgok007]

If I go in tommorow and make a huge scene, declare "I quit" and walk out of there, what do you think will happen? I'll be picked up by immigration right?

[Roch]

[Dan The Chainsawman]

Indeed what I would suggest as well. Follow the terms of your contract.

[Hapkido-In]

Whoa...is this for real? I mean...did it really happen?

Korean custom? Don't hang out with Korean females? What?

Were you making out/groping them at work infront of everyone or something?

Does your manager really expect you to ignore 50% of the population in the city you live in?

This makes no sense at all. About 10% of all Korean women that married last year were to Americans (yeah, just Americans, not all 'westerners'). How does she figure that 1 in 10 females...

You know...forget it. She's a nutjob. I'd get out while the getting is good.

[chilgok007]

Definetly no physical contact of any kind. I was just sitting at Dunkin Donuts having an afternoon coffee. At the time, they were actually giving me Korean lessons. Sorry, but if she's gonna be a c**t to me in the office that's one thing, but when she starts butting into my personal life, she's crossing the line.

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell y'all that she canceled our sick days too, coz it was "too hard" on the Korean teachers to cover our classes (hey, it's not my fault that she has us working an 8 hour day without a break). I'd love to just up and quit and leave her in the lurch, but then again, I would like to stick around Korea/Asia for a few more months.

What's the best way to find a university/adult-ed gig?

[Qinella]

You only want to stay for a few more months? Why even worry about finding another place, then?

Just do what I do when someone tells me to do something I don't want to do: placate them. "Hmm? Ahh, okay." And then just don't do it. If the command giver brings it up to you again, angry at your disobedience, just placate again: "Ahhh, right, right. Okay, sorry about that." Continue indefinitely until the person gives up. Resistance is generally futile, so this is the only option, really.

By the way, this strategy works especially well in Korea, as it is customary as a way of saving face (don't say not to authority). You say something like "I will try my best," and that's all you need to do.

[chilgok007]

I came to Korea to interact with Korean people, not live a bubble of only foreigners. That was my main goal in coming out here, so what's the point in staying if I'm prohibited from doing so? I'm not going to be able to make any friends if my boss keeps contacting the bosses of my friends to say it's anathema to Korea culture for Westerners and locals to hang out and then bully them around. The Koreans have more pressure on them to fall in line (i.e. I don't care if I get fired from this job, but they do coz it's their livelyhood).

What I meant by the "few more months" comment is that that I don't want to make a life-long career out of teaching ESL, but I'd be willing to stick it out for up to another year or more, if I found one of those nice cushy uni jobs. I'd rather go home and work at McDonalds than work another chain Hagwon.

[captain kirk]

Fit to be tied. Why let them get to you that much? If you get this worked up about stuff it'll carry on and escalate. Is it worth it? Kick back and get some distance or elect to chase your tail as fast as you can, it's up to you. Slagging all hagwons and wanting into a Uni job. Well, Uni jobs have stress and crazy/unfair people dynamics too.

You sound like you need a holiday but there is no holiday so find some peace of mind activities for your off hours IMO. You need a stable base from which to respond without being reactive. The management are childish. You can't let them run you 'round the bend by responding tit for tat. If you're childish, I'll be more childish. It just gets more absurd, shrill, ennervated.

The powertripping management will get a live one in their sights and torment them for all their worth. I've seen it before. It ends messily. The only response is distance. Being more calm/solid than they are ie. peace of mind, maturity, playing the politeness game and being professional. Then they'll leave you alone. If they can't set you off like an indignant firecracker all the time, toying with you, their simple minds will drift off. It's their amusement. You're a plaything. Refuse to play. Make your mind a fortress.

[chilgok007]

[merlot]

[Homer]

Dude..those "cushy uni jobs" require qualifications and credentials...you have em?

Anyway, your story is a sad one and sorry it happened to you but you are over reacting. No one is preventing you from interacting with Koreans...heck when you are outside of work who is stopping you?

I would advise you not to smash shit up and rather to act like an adult: hand in your resignation, get your release and find another job.

Also all Hakwons are not bad just because yours seems to be...use a bit of perspective here.

First step would be to calm down and think this through rationally.

What do you want? What do you need to get it?


Throwing a raving tantrum at your boss will not help you any, in fact it will only make things worse.

Seriously, act calmly and like a professional.

[Leslie Cheswyck]

Qinella, Roch, captain kirk, merlot, and yes, even Homer, have all .

Take Qinella's advice. Just say one thing and do another. They won't call you on it.

[jacl]

You could stroke your boss's ego, but in the long run you'll be unhappy about it. That type of strategy leads to passive agressiveness. Leave whatever relationship you have with these girls up to the girls. If they decide they don't want to continue being friends then so be it.

There's nothing wrong with just telling your boss that you'll associate with these girls if you want. End of story. Also, if she's violating the contract by making you work too many hours without overtime (or anything of the like), change the situation. You have to let people know who they're dealing with. You have to use punishment. Teach her a lesson. Hit her where it hurts.

You could also hand in your resignation if it's worth it. You're no slave.