Korean Job Discussion Forums

[DHX]

What do you guys think about dating a single mom? I've met someone quite nice. She is pretty, kind and nice to talk with. But she has a 3 year old daughter. The ex-husband is a dead-beat and isn't in the picture at all. I'm 27, she is 24. I don't have much experience with kids, but her daughter seems nice. I haven't been introduced yet, but I've seen some photos and heard all about her from her mom.

What do you guys think? Pros, cons? Good, bad? Stay, run fast?

[mole]

I'm no Dr. Phil or Dr. Ruth, but don't give up on it based on the daughter.
Let the relationship develop. I dated a single Korean mom before. We didn't see each other much,
and when we did, she was kind of a financial drain. Asking for gifts and had expensive tastes in restaurants.
Oops. I replied intending to be encouraging, but my experience says otherwise.
Great sex, though.

[peppermint]

Don't meet the kid until you know how you feel about mom. Adults are capable of having flings, but little kids take relationships with adults pretty seriously. If you guys were to break up, the daughter might be pretty upset.

[mole]

[zappadelta]

[Milwaukiedave]

I agree, her child might meet you and get attached. Then if you guys (for some reason) broke up, the child might take it personally.

Mole had a good point about his situation too, make sure that it's not putting you in a situation where your being used for financial gain. I'm not saying she would, but as Mole pointed out, it can happen.

I hope it works out (if that's what you want).

[Hapkido-In]

Get out while the getting's good.

^^

[Moldy Rutabaga]

[....]

[mindmetoo]

A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman. A child would not deter me. However, not all guys are cut out for dating a single mom. The fact is a child takes a lot of her time. She has other priorities. Some guys can't handle being 3rd or 4th on the list of a woman's priorities. Just make sure you're willing to work around her schedule. You won't always be able to spend the night on the town every Saturday.

[lonestar]

Take it from a very bitter voice of experience: you need to be 100% certain that she is in fact divorced before proceeding any further. Just saying that he is "out of the picture" doesn't mean that they are divorced-- you wouldn't want him to suddenly get back in the picture again only to realize that they were never really divorced. Ask for proof of divorce, such as court issued documents, before you get too deeply invloved. Take it from one who's been there.
Also, if she can establish that she is in fact divorced and provide you with proof of it, I'd still advise proceeding cautiously. It's not uncommon for women, of whatever nationality, in such a situation to say the things they think you want to hear just to string you along and get some financial or other gain from you.

[mole]

[seoulshock]

Never date a single mother!

YOU will always take the back seat to the kid... and there's nothing wrong with that, because hey, her kid should come first. However, why would you want to deal with that? Why be #2 when you can be #1?

On top of that, you WILL be paying extra to date her. You don't think you'll have to sometimes take the kid to Lotte World or buy her food or gifts? You want to be a father? Take care of another guys kid? Sure, he's a dead beat, but that's not your problem... and on top of that, who chose to marry, get pregnant, have a child, and then divorce the dead-beat?

What if you want to have sex? You're gonna do it with the kid in the other room? Or she's gonna go over to your place? What about the kid? Ah yes, babysitters. How much is that gonna cost? I wonder who pays.

Hey, single mothers can make GREAT mates, but there are too many disadvantages to dating a single mother that simply do NOT exist when dating a childless woman. So why even bother with a single mother?

It's not hard to find a woman without a kid! I mean... after all, MOST single women do NOT have kids. Go for one of them... don't get stuck with the one who has the kid.

[mindmetoo]

[seoulshock]

[mindmetoo]