Korean Job Discussion Forums

[kingplaya4]

Going out for a first date on Tuesday with a conservative Korean girl from Daegu. She is 27 years old and still lives with her father who is an officer in the army. I've already been told don't bother but she's pretty hot and speaks good english so spare that please.

Anyway, what are the customs here? Kiss at the end of first date yes/no? Hold hands? Should I bring flowers?

Any help much appreciated.

[Juregen]

1. You pay everything

[mithridates]

2. No you don't.

[chronicpride]

Being from Daegu doesn't make one conservative. I'd say that a lot of the older generation can fall into that category, but you'd have just as much as a chance running into liberal, open-minded types as you would in Seoul. Nevertheless, even if she does turn out to be conservative, why the hell is she going on a date with a foreigner? Probably to let her hair down and do something outside of the conservative mold. Therefore, be yourself, as that's likely how she'd want you to be anyway.

[freethought]

Don't listen to these guys...

If you are serious that she IS Conservative, then don't expect a kiss and she may not let you hold her hand. Those that are familiar with my time in Korea know that I was a little bit of a *beep*, but in the process of becoming a *beep*, I went out with conservative girls, middle of the road girls, horny as hell older women... you name it.

Some women wont allow you to kiss them for weeks, though if you see them every day that may be excelerated. Others you might get a few little pecks or smooches, but do not try to use your tongue, because it might get bit off depending on just how conservative the girl is.

My advice; if you have known the girl for a while and are past the stage of "so what's your favourite colour" and "what do you do/study?" then putting your arm around her or walking arm-in-arm or holding hands is a realistic stop point.

That said, you can be surprised sometimes, I went on my second date with one conservative girl and she brought a friend along and at the end of it all the three of us were in bed together.... but I wouldn't count on that happening.

[mindmetoo]

Hrm, maybe she's like a daughter of a super strict preacher who wants to get back at her daddy by being a bad girl and flashing her boobs during Super Bowl 'n' all.

[mole]

Just be a gentleman. Flowers or another gift are never a bad idea.
For sure, don't push the physical contact.

[Axl Rose]

[freethought]

Oh, Mr Axl, it is true... but I didn;t finish the story, nor do I want to get flagged, so I'll keep it tame.

WAY too much soju was consumed, how we all ended up back at my place is a bit of a blur. On the bed, going out in with her friend who is essentially naked, but the conservative girl is too shy to do much, but she contributes a little here and there. THEN, WHAMO.... she runs to the bathroom and starts to puke, the sound of her puking makes her friend have to puke so she runs to the bathroom, too. The sound of them puking sends me to the kitchen sink... Think that scene at the pie eating contest in Stand By Me....

Not quite how I envisioned it going, I'll admit that much.

To the original poster, this is also something you should avoid having happen.

[bellum99]

Here is a hint....if she is dating you then she is not a conservative girl.

A conservative girl will be looking for a Korean man who will support her and make it so she doesn't have to work. If she is dating a white guy then there is usually something wrong with her (look hard enough and it will come out). Everyone here will say I am wrong..but every single time it seems to be true.

Anyway, my advice it to not take it slow.....best to know where you stand early. It could be a dictionary boyfriend she is looking for...all talk but no play. If it turns in to Bed English then enjoy the ride but DON"T fall in love (many others have had the same ride).

[mateomiguel]

From my experience, korean girls have a certain expectation about foreign guys. To put it bluntly, they think that if they're going to have any type of serious relationship with a foreigner, they simply MUST give it up, and soon, despite their experience, or previous conservative virgin marriage plans. I've had this confirmed not only by myself, but my other foreign friends and korean women as well.

NOBODY better tell them different either, that's all I gotta say.

One thing that worked well for my friend who started dating a rather conservative korean girl was this. He simply straight up told her "you're from another culture, I'm not familiar with your customs on physical affection. Also, in past relationships I've had lots of experience, so I'm not in a rush. We'll just do whatever you want to do." She jumped him soon enough. Maybe you could take that stance?

Also, one thing that worked for me with an extremely conservative korean girl once was to fail to meet up with the other people we were supposed to meet one day, suggest waiting for them at my house, turn off my phone, and ask for a kiss. After laughing through a semi-indignant string of objections, I just told her it'd feel good if she did it. She gasped, said "I never considered kissing a foreigner," and then tried it. Surprise, surprise, she did like it.

[jajdude]

The word "conservative" tends to annoy me for some reason. What does it mean?

I'm afraid to try new things? I'm afraid of my parents or what others will think?

I think it's a wonderful euphemism, nurtured over the years and generations, to make one appear nice and acceptable and respectable and scared.

Why is it used so much in Korea? How deep is the need to fit in? (pretty deep usually) How far does repression go?

[Ilsanman]

2 words.

Don't bother.

Unless you are just into challenges.

[JZer]

[eamo]

She's just a girl like any other.

How fast your relationship will go towards 'consumation' will depend on how much she is attracted to you, how much you turn her on physically, or, just how horny she is.