Korean Job Discussion Forums

[jjurabong]

This afternoon my husband (Korean) received a call from his friend's employer saying that his friend (also Korean) didn't show up for work this morning, didn't call and was not answering his cellphone. My husband made more calls to friends, and then went to check his apartment. His friend's car was gone, and there was no answer at the door.

My husband reached the friend's roommate, who said they had drunk soju last night, but not excessively, and that this morning the roomie had woken him up for work, and spoke to him, and then left to go to work himself. That was the last anyone's heard of him.

My husband's friend is early 40's, unmarried, and has had a pretty tough time financially, but has been getting on his feet. He's never just not shown up for his job before. I've always known this man to be jovial, and able to handle his hard knocks with a smile.

This man's mother is quite old,(father's dead, brother is on a camping trip in Canada)and my husband and his friends don't want to inform her of the situation until more time passes. They think the likeliest possiblity is that he might have just gotten fed up and wanted to blow out of town and be alone for a while. If it were up to me, they'd be calling the police, or at least, calling his mother and letting her decide what to do.

I asked if it were possible he might have had a car accident , and may be in a hospital without ID, but my husband insists his friend always has his wallet and cellphone.

Am I being an overreacting fussbudget? Should I be pushing my husband harder to take more action? I realize, a certain amount of time has to go by before the police would consider him missing, but if there is something "wrong", time could be a deciding factor. ( God, now I sound like a bad episode of CSI Miami).

What would you do?

[RACETRAITOR]

I would wait and try not to assume the worst. It is strange but he probably just did want to disappear for a bit.

[eamo]

He's 40 years old. You have to wait a couple of days. He may just need to be alone for awhile.

If the 'worst' has happened then it has already happened I would guess.

[jjurabong]

Yeah, thanks - I'm trying not to be a drama queen. I know my husband is worried, and I don't want to make it worse. It didn't help that I was watching some true crime show on the Discovery Channel when he got the call.

You're probably right. I appreciate the comments - will update if I hear anything.

[Yu_Bum_suk]

If he has his phone with him get your husband to text him saying that people are worried and that if he doesn't call back within 24 hours your husband will contact the police out of concern. If he's been emotionally troubled lately let him know that he has support waiting for him if he needs it. If he's in his early 40s in this society and not married he's unfortunately probably had to deal with a lot of pressures.

[Roch]

[jjurabong]

Thanks , Yu, for the advice, but his phone is off.... Still no word. My husband and his friends have decided to wait until tonight and see if he turns up at home or calls anybody..

eta: My husband saw him yesterday - and there seemed to be nothing out of the ordinary going on - no change in mood, or talk of problems.

Although he is older and unmarried, his family is not so traditional. My husband and his set are a pretty alternative bunch ( musicians and nature lovers ), and don't seem to worry about those types of things, but I do think that sometimes this man must get lonely. He's a big sweetie, and I'm really hoping he's ok..

[Benicio]

I know it's easy to assume the worst and stress out about it.

Just hope everything is okay- he needed to get away for a mini break.

This happened with a girl I know- more of a friend of a friend. A big group of us went out for a night on the p1ss and had a good time. The next day, one of our friends called and said that the girl at the gathering didn't show up for work. The boss called her friends and everyone got worried- where is she? No word, no answering the phone.
She showed up the next day- said she was just stressed and had to get out of town for a little while and get away from it all.
It's not good when people just take off and get everyone worried like that.
I'm sure he'll turn up.

[jaganath69]

I can understand why you'd assume the worst, best not to until the facts emerge though. Still, one thing I've learned here is that the pressure from work and to conform in general leads to some pretty wacky responses when the pressure gets too much. Your husband's friend may have just needed some 'me time'.

[RACETRAITOR]

Update?

[jjurabong]

Thanks for the kind words and concern.

All your guesses ( and my husband's ) were right. He just left a message for his boss calling in sick ( which, apparently didn't get through), and then turned off his phone, and took the day off, needing to disappear and blow off some stress. Luckily, his boss is also his friend, and so that part of the story will also turn out ok.

I am SOOO glad, I posted here and took all of your advice about chilling out for a while and giving the situation time. Thanks for being there,guys.
I appreciate it so much.

[rothkowitz]

He threw a sickie and went to the pub!

Typical.

[jjurabong]

umm....went fishing, actually.

And the reason why people were worried is because this wasn't typical of him.