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Julius
Joined: 27 Jul 2006
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 Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:08 pm Post subject: Are koreans over-sensitive? |
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I think they are- they take offence incredibly easily. Its been a gradual realisation. Basically, I think they tend to overreact to minor and even imaginary slights,and they take an awfully long time to forgive and forget. Sometimes never. Worst thing about it is you may not even guess that they are bearing an inner wound or resentment, because they are unlikely to express a grievance to you. Instead they build it up inside and take their vengeance months later without you even being aware. The only way to stop the cycle apparently is to not only be a mind reader and completely understand korean culture, but always admit to being in the wrong and always be the first to apologise. Aparently. In any case, its virtualy impossible to avoid offending koreans.
Would you agree?
just for example: I was busy chatting to my co-worker about work when I first got here and failed to acknowledge someone "important"- who butted into the conversation and I didn't even know who it was (vice principal). He doesn't seem to have ever recovered from the brush off. Will he not talk to me for a year and then subtly try to sabotage me? or should I call a meeting with several translators to go over the incident in detail, explaining every cultural nuance and difference in perception, until he is reassured and his face is restored? |
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laogaiguk
Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Location: somewhere in Korea
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| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:12 pm Post subject: Re: Are koreans over-sensitive? |
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You think Koreans take offence easily ??? 
Try calling a fat person fat back home. Or tell some minority back home "Merry Christmas". Etc...
For the forgetting thing, I don't know.
Actually, to be honest, your entire post fits the classic stereotype of "females".  |
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flotsam
Joined: 28 Mar 2006
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| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Only their thighs. |
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markhan
Joined: 02 Aug 2006
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| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:25 pm Post subject: Re: Are koreans over-sensitive? |
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Denifitely wrong!
Koreans are never known to go around the bush. In fact, Koreans are often accused of being too overt. Your observation is utter crap. (Sorry for being too blunt, I guess that was Korean in me)
| Julius wrote: |
I think they are- they take offence incredibly easily. Its been a gradual realisation. Basically, I think they tend to overreact to minor and even imaginary slights,and they take an awfully long time to forgive and forget. Sometimes never. Worst thing about it is you may not even guess that they are bearing an inner wound or resentment, because they are unlikely to express a grievance to you. Instead they build it up inside and take their vengeance months later without you even being aware. The only way to stop the cycle apparently is to not only be a mind reader and completely understand korean culture, but always admit to being in the wrong and always be the first to apologise. Aparently. In any case, its virtualy impossible to avoid offending koreans.
Would you agree?
just for example: I was busy chatting to my co-worker about work when I first got here and failed to acknowledge someone "important"- who butted into the conversation and I didn't even know who it was (vice principal). He doesn't seem to have ever recovered from the brush off. Will he not talk to me for a year and then subtly try to sabotage me? or should I call a meeting with several translators to go over the incident in detail, explaining every cultural nuance and difference in perception, until he is reassured and his face is restored? |
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Julius
Joined: 27 Jul 2006
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| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:45 pm Post subject: Re: Are koreans over-sensitive? |
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| markhan wrote: |
Denifitely wrong!
Koreans are never known to go around the bush. In fact, Koreans are often accused of being too overt. |
I see what you mean- in some circumstances they are brash or blunt, yes.
But there is another trait which I see- their taking secret offence at something that would be insignificant to most westerners. And then bearing a grudge. Its almost as though their interpersonal relationships have to be absolutely 100% perfect, and any tiny infraction will forever tarnish it.
And laogaiguk- its also a feature of Korean women, yes. For example you spend months gradually building up a good relationship, then suddenly its all over because you- gasp- didn't reply to her text message within the 5 minute time frame. Suddenly all is lost, she has been "offended". |
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flotsam
Joined: 28 Mar 2006
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| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:47 pm Post subject: Re: Are koreans over-sensitive? |
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| Julius wrote: |
| For example you spend months gradually building up a good relationship, then suddenly its all over because you- gasp- didn't reply to her text message within the 5 minute time frame. Suddenly all is lost, she has been "offended". |
Sounds like your girlie was looking for an escape hatch. Glad she made it out.
BTW: Who the hell "goes around the bush"? |
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jinju
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:49 pm Post subject: |
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Alyssa
Joined: 15 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:55 pm Post subject: Re: Are koreans over-sensitive? |
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| Julius wrote: |
I think they are- they take offence incredibly easily. Its been a gradual realisation. Basically, I think they tend to overreact to minor and even imaginary slights,and they take an awfully long time to forgive and forget. Sometimes never. Worst thing about it is you may not even guess that they are bearing an inner wound or resentment, because they are unlikely to express a grievance to you. Instead they build it up inside and take their vengeance months later without you even being aware. The only way to stop the cycle apparently is to not only be a mind reader and completely understand korean culture, but always admit to being in the wrong and always be the first to apologise. Aparently. In any case, its virtualy impossible to avoid offending koreans.
Would you agree?
just for example: I was busy chatting to my co-worker about work when I first got here and failed to acknowledge someone "important"- who butted into the conversation and I didn't even know who it was (vice principal). He doesn't seem to have ever recovered from the brush off. Will he not talk to me for a year and then subtly try to sabotage me? or should I call a meeting with several translators to go over the incident in detail, explaining every cultural nuance and difference in perception, until he is reassured and his face is restored? |
I have had the same thing happen many times. I feel like I am dealing with little kids, who love to brag, and if they are hurt or insulted want to get even, or walk away with their ball, never to return. Even the sports teams here always talk about "revenge" when they beat a team who beat them. But again, it seems the same behavior of a really insecure person. |
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casey's moon
Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Location: Daejeon
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| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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I've been here 6 years now and am married to a Korean and 95% of the people I am in contact with are Koreans and I couldn't agree less with the OP's statement. I think you have a case of assuming a few examples are representative of the norm. Sometimes it is just a coincidence that you know a few people who have similar traits and it has nothing to do with their race or culture.
Two of my Korean co-workers (and I don't have many co-workers where I work) both dislike squid and both of them are afraid of birds. Just a coincidence?
As a matter of fact, yes. |
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periwinkle
Joined: 08 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 8:04 pm Post subject: |
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| casey's moon wrote: |
I've been here 6 years now and am married to a Korean and 95% of the people I am in contact with are Koreans and I couldn't agree less with the OP's statement. I think you have a case of assuming a few examples are representative of the norm. Sometimes it is just a coincidence that you know a few people who have similar traits and it has nothing to do with their race or culture.
Two of my Korean co-workers (and I don't have many co-workers where I work) both dislike squid and both of them are afraid of birds. Just a coincidence?
As a matter of fact, yes. |
he he he- maybe they watched too many Alfred Hitchcock movies? |
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billybrobby
Joined: 09 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 8:17 pm Post subject: Re: Are koreans over-sensitive? |
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| Julius wrote: |
| I think they are- they take offence incredibly easily. Its been a gradual realisation. Basically, I think they tend to overreact to minor and even imaginary slights,and they take an awfully long time to forgive and forget. Sometimes never. Worst thing about it is you may not even guess that they are bearing an inner wound or resentment, because they are unlikely to express a grievance to you. |
I would say this describes the British better than Koreans.
I think Julius has found a soulmate in Alyssa. I think they should take a tour around the world together where they visiting a bunch of different countries and p*ss all over them. |
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casey's moon
Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Location: Daejeon
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| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 8:30 pm Post subject: |
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| periwinkle wrote: |
| casey's moon wrote: |
I've been here 6 years now and am married to a Korean and 95% of the people I am in contact with are Koreans and I couldn't agree less with the OP's statement. I think you have a case of assuming a few examples are representative of the norm. Sometimes it is just a coincidence that you know a few people who have similar traits and it has nothing to do with their race or culture.
Two of my Korean co-workers (and I don't have many co-workers where I work) both dislike squid and both of them are afraid of birds. Just a coincidence?
As a matter of fact, yes. |
he he he- maybe they watched too many Alfred Hitchcock movies? |
Neither of them mentioned the movie, but you're right, I should have asked..... |
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noelinkorea
Joined: 09 Apr 2003
Location: Shinchon, Seoul
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| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 9:06 pm Post subject: |
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| I think 'Markhan' mean to say 'beat around the bush' and not 'go around the bush'...I have never heard the latter, but the first one fits the context more and we say it all the time in NZ... |
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jinju
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 9:21 pm Post subject: Re: Are koreans over-sensitive? |
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| billybrobby wrote: |
| Julius wrote: |
| I think they are- they take offence incredibly easily. Its been a gradual realisation. Basically, I think they tend to overreact to minor and even imaginary slights,and they take an awfully long time to forgive and forget. Sometimes never. Worst thing about it is you may not even guess that they are bearing an inner wound or resentment, because they are unlikely to express a grievance to you. |
I would say this describes the British better than Koreans.
I think Julius has found a soulmate in Alyssa. I think they should take a tour around the world together where they visiting a bunch of different countries and p*ss all over them. |
Can one be soulmates with one self? |
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Julius
Joined: 27 Jul 2006
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| Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 9:42 pm Post subject: Re: Are koreans over-sensitive? |
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| billybrobby wrote: |
I would say this describes the British better than Koreans.
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YES!
Good observation. They're actually similar. both will take offence to something relatively minor. Instead of expressing whats bothering them though, they will harbor the grievance for a long time, before striking with their revenge at some point in the future. Whereupon they can walk away with a smug sense of satisfaction. Unaware they've just wasted months bound up in angst and anger over some tiny cultural difference. |
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