Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Corporal]

I don't have a problem with people coming up to us and wanting to see the baby--I know they're just curious, and she IS very cute. But what I'm really starting to get annoyed with is how grabby Koreans are, especially the ajummas. They get right close and then crow "Nomu EEEEEEEPuda!" at earsplitting levels and if I don't back off fast enough they are grabbing for her hands, feet, whatever's closest. One woman even tried to rub the baby's head yesterday. I don't want their grubby, garlicky hands all over my clean baby, thank you very much! Seriously, it happens constantly. I've told them "agi man-ji-ji-ma" but you'd think it was English for all the notice they take of it.

I realize people are generally pretty touchy-feely around babies and little ones, but I guess I just miss how back in the West, we usually have the politeness to ask permission before touching, and keep a respectful distance if the parents in question are complete strangers.

(The other thing that's getting irritating, while I'm on the subject, is that if my husband is holding the baby and I'm not right at his side, no one takes a second look at her, they just figure she's Korean. But as soon as I carry her anywhere, it's all "oh look at the waygook baby". I've seen wives practically break their husbands' arm pulling on them so hard trying to get them to look in my direction. WTF is up with that?)

Anyone have any suggestions to deal with this?

[dutchman]

Get used to it. If you let it bother you, your going to be pissed off everytime you go out.

[steroidmaximus]

No, I'm with Corporal on this one. . .it's like everyone wants to stare and touch, but when Korean babies pass by, no one pays them much thought. It is very odd. When I'm holding Alaisha, I just walk away from the pawing and fawning.

On an aside, anyone know a proper, polite term to refer to a mixed parentage baby in Korean?

[kimcheeking]

When my wife goes out with our baby she gets the same attention that I get with her. She is constantly asked "is the father foreign?".

As for touching, I now remove any hands and tell them no! I know in Korea it is okay, but I don't like it. I have never had anyone try to touch her again. Besides I don't know where those peoples hands have been.

[Wombat]

Though I'm not a mother (yet), I can just imagine my protective insticts kicking into overdrive at the thought of throngs of strangers groping for my littley.

Depending on how young your daughter is, it may not be a good idea either; a baby's immune system is not well=prepared for the sheer number of colds, flus and bacterias that are floating around in the air, on ajumma's hands, and in stranger's mouths (a danger when they lean within an inch of the child's face and shriek). One need not be neurotic about it or anything - but I can understand a mother's hesitancy.

It's odd - the difference in the sense of personal space around the world. In Australia or Canada, a stranger wouldn't dream of charging up to someone elses' infant, seizing whatever they could grab hold of, and chortling in their face! It would simply be out of the question! I suppose you can take comfort in the fact that they're admiring the beauty of your child...but that doesn't stop it, does it...

I guess I'd probably learn a phrase like "She gets frightened when strangers come near," - or something like that. It may not be strictly true, but anything that helps your babies feel less-harrassed in public is good.

On the flip-side, if your babies don't seem too fussed, don't worry so much. The ajummas mean well, and they'd never hurt them.

Good luck.

Wombat

[little mixed girl]

....

[steroidmaximus]

thanks, little mixed girl

One of the Korean profs at my college 'informed' me that a Korean word is 'twiggy', which I later found out to be quite rude. On top of that, he said this in front of a former student. I called him on it and he said he was just joking. I explained that in all languages there are polite and impolite forms, for example, to be impolite I could call someone a 'lardass', or I could say that the person is 'overweight' or 'not thin' (he is, by the way, 'large'). I asked him if there were any polite forms in Korean to describe my daughter's situation. He was stumped. In fact, all the Koreans I've asked this question to also were stumped. There are a ton of rude words to describe a baby of mixed parentage in Korean, but nothing polite. Interesting.

If someone could enlighten me, I'd really appreciate it.

[makushi]

Same problem.

My family avoids crowded hiking trails cuz every person that passes in the opposite direction reaches out and touches and tries to touch our two young boys on the face.

I used to try be patient. But my wife (korean) took the lead and started telling people not to touch. After all it's a dirty, rude, presumptious habit.

And for the person that said "get used to it." I say pull your head out. This place has changed a heck of a lot in the last 10 years. Taxi drivers are better, people line up better (can you believe it used to be worse?), and things like international marriages are looked upon in a more positive way.

One of the main impetus for these changes has been Koreans traveling abroad but also the collective feedback from having come into contact with foreigners that are visting or living in Korea.

I've even had Koreans tell other Koreans not to touch our kids because they heard westerners don't like it. Now that my friends is progress.

In fact, if you really take a look into the Korean psyche you probably see that they are one of the most self-reflective races in the world. They continually are concerned about how Korea is perceived by other countries and how they stack up against others. Because of this they are able to change quicker than any other country I've seen.

So yes, please do tell (hopefully in a tactful manner) that you'd prefer that they keep hands off your children.

[richinkorea]

[Circus Monkey]

[dutchman]

[cletus awreetus-awrightus]

[Cedar]

Steroid Maximus,

Why don't we coin a term on this board and then try to teach it to EVERYONE? Why not???

[steroidmaximus]

Cedar:

Where to start? For one, I'd think of getting rid of the half concept, or blood. Carries too many thorns in Korean. As I know your Korean is waaaay better than mine, I'll ask you for the first suggestions, whilst I take it up with my wife and friends.

To the previous poster: The term you mentioned was suggested by a couple of Korean friends, but they promptly took it back and suggested not to use it?

[EFL Teacher]