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blaseblasphemener
Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Location: There's a voice, keeps on calling me, down the road, that's where I'll always be
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 Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 5:34 am Post subject: Why do I even bother?! |
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So I'm in the English Book store today, around 1:30. It's a pretty small little store, and I'm browsing. This guy is also looking at books and is coming towards my direction. Out of, oh, I don't know, common courtesy>>, and probably against my better judgment, I say, "How's it going?" There's like a 4 second pause from the guy, then, "Good" in a totally disinterested voice. "What school do you work at?" I ask, trying to recover gracefully from being dissed. Another loooong pause. "...... Esl". No return question. "Oh, uhhh, I work at ....., do you know it?" (very well-known in this city). "No." end of conversation. Me holding back from knocking arsewipe out.
So I ask, why do I even bother? Have common social graces slipped sooo far that people can't even muster up the energy to try and be nice? I feel like a wanker not saying hi to people, and then when I do, most people act like I'm a stalker or something. I just don't get it, but I think that is the last time I will say hi to a stranger. It just seems f@#4ed up to me, modern world, korea, whatever, be-damned. I'm not in Seoul by the way, so seeing a foreigner is still a pretty rare occurance. |
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Pak Yu Man
Joined: 02 Jun 2005
Location: The Ida galaxy
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| Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 5:39 am Post subject: |
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Why stop at hiyying him? You should of got in your car and ran him down. Better yet shoot him.
You wanted to kick his ass cause he dissed you? Let me guess...American right? |
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blaseblasphemener
Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Location: There's a voice, keeps on calling me, down the road, that's where I'll always be
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| Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 5:43 am Post subject: |
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| I don't see where you're going with that pac man. I'm Canadian, and in Canada, people still sometimes say hello to strangers whilst walking in a park, browsing, etc. This guy's rudeness was uncalled for, I felt. I didn't hit him, or tell him off, because he was a putz and those kind of impulses are usually better reserved for fantasy. So, in my imagination, I told him off and pushed him down. Nah nah nah nah nah. |
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the_beaver
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 5:47 am Post subject: |
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Again, the rules of conversation have been blasted.
First, proximity. (which you had)
Second, eye contact. (which you probably didn't)
Third, a slight smile, grin, softening of features. (which I'm sure you didn't have)
There are body language rules for opening a conversation and by *beep* more people should follow them. |
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rocklee
Joined: 04 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 5:48 am Post subject: |
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I get that a lot.
Some people think they're something special. Just move on I'd say. |
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poker player
Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Location: On the river
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| Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 5:51 am Post subject: |
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| Some people come here because they can't make it back home and enjoy the anonymity and not having to interact with others (English speaking) and obviously this was 1 of those lost souls and your actions were tantamount to a confrontation to this loser. Forget it. BTW your usage of putz was bang on- you a landsman? |
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HapKi
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Location: TALL BUILDING-SEOUL
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| Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 6:06 am Post subject: |
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Maybe he was embarrassed you thought he was teaching privates.
Maybe he thought the whole situation was cliche and felt uncomfortable.
Maybe he was tired of talking after a morning of classes.
Don't worry about it, and don't think it's reason to change your friendliness. |
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flint
Joined: 11 Apr 2004
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| Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 7:11 am Post subject: |
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| blaseblasphemener wrote: |
| I don't see where you're going with that pac man. I'm Canadian, and in Canada, people still sometimes say hello to strangers whilst walking in a park, browsing, etc. This guy's rudeness was uncalled for, I felt. I didn't hit him, or tell him off, because he was a putz and those kind of impulses are usually better reserved for fantasy. So, in my imagination, I told him off and pushed him down. Nah nah nah nah nah. |
Ok, the guy ANSWERED your hello in what you say was a disinterested voice. WTF would you keep trying to talk to him? WTF is someone EXPECTED to want to hold a conversation with you? Maybe he just wanted to go in, find a book, buy it, and leave?
Common courtesy was answered by his belated (although is 4 seconds really that long?) "good". "How are you?" 4 second pause "good". Question answered. It doesn't require that a return question is asked. Common courtesy should have told you that since he seemed disinterested maybe YOU shouldn't bother him?
In a way it is kind of funny. It is like the reverse of what happens with Koreans who want to practice their English on any foreigner they see.
Case 1
The lone foreigner, who doesn't live in Seoul sees a potential English speaker. What do they have in common? Well, he is a foreigner and might speak English. Ergo he MUST want to have a conversation with me. So then he approaches the stranger hoping to be able to hold a conversation in English about, well, anything, because he must be starved for the contact.
"How are you?"
4 seconds pass while the guy says do I answer or not. I don't feel like talking right now. Ok answer: "Good." I seemed disinterested, he should get the message and leave me alone.
"What school do you work at?"
Oh jeeze, I don't really feel like talking to this guy. You think he would have gotten the hint. After a long pause <then again 4 seconds was a long pause before wasn't it?> he says: "ESL."
"Oh, uhh I work at BlahBlahBlah do you know it?"
For god's sake is the guy a moron? Can't he see I don't want to talk? Why the hell do people like this expect every other foreigner wants to hold a conversation with them? Should I tell him to F off or just continue to act disinterested? Ok, let's be more polite then saying F off. He says: "No."
It finally starts to clue in to the 1st person that the guy doesn't want to talk, for whatever reason. <Maybe no reason. Maybe his best friend died. Maybe his GF dumped him. Does he really have to give a reason not to want to talk with a stranger?> Instead of realizing he doesn't want to talk the person instead looks indignant and ponders "knocking the arsewipe out."
Just who was the arsewipe here? Guy who didn't want to talk doesn't seem like one.
Case 2
A Korean walks down a packed street and sees a lone foreigner waiting for the light to change. I can barely speak English. He can speak English and probably teaches it. He must want to let me practice my English.
"Hi! Hi! Hi!"
Oh god, the foreigner thinks. Why the F does every Korean who knows two words of English think we want to say hi to them all the time. ok, common courtesy...remember common courtesy. "Hi."
"<Something said quickly in Korean.>"
Foreigner stares blankly at the Don't Walk signal.
"I said where are you from?"
Oh jeeze. I just want to get to the video store, rent a movie and go home. What do i do? How do I get it across that I don't want to talk without being too rude. Act disinterested. "<insert country of choice>"
"How long have you been in Korea?"
The light changes. Thank god! Now I can just walk away.
Korean follows. "Can I have your phone number?"
Foreigner screams in frustration while thinking Thank God WE don't act like this with other foreigners. |
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blaseblasphemener
Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Location: There's a voice, keeps on calling me, down the road, that's where I'll always be
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| Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 7:12 am Post subject: |
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Thanks for the kudos on "putz", although I don't even know what a landsman is.
As for letting it wash off hapki, wish I could, but have been burned multiple times. Will only do now if the other person smiles my way, which occassionally happens. I always find it so refreshing when people act that way towards me, I guess I'm amazed that other people don't feel the same way.
Think it's bang on about some people fleeing from the West, and not wanting to disappear in Korea. Too bad. |
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JeJuJitsu
Joined: 11 Sep 2005
Location: McDonald's
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| Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 7:20 am Post subject: Re: Why do I even bother?! |
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| blaseblasphemener wrote: |
So I'm in the English Book store today, around 1:30. It's a pretty small little store, and I'm browsing. This guy is also looking at books and is coming towards my direction. Out of, oh, I don't know, common courtesy>>, and probably against my better judgment, I say, "How's it going?" There's like a 4 second pause from the guy, then, "Good" in a totally disinterested voice. "What school do you work at?" I ask, trying to recover gracefully from being dissed. Another loooong pause. "...... Esl". No return question. "Oh, uhhh, I work at ....., do you know it?" (very well-known in this city). "No." end of conversation. Me holding back from knocking arsewipe out.
So I ask, why do I even bother? Have common social graces slipped sooo far that people can't even muster up the energy to try and be nice? I feel like a *beep* not saying hi to people, and then when I do, most people act like I'm a stalker or something. I just don't get it, but I think that is the last time I will say hi to a stranger. It just seems f@#4ed up to me, modern world, korea, whatever, be-damned. I'm not in Seoul by the way, so seeing a foreigner is still a pretty rare occurance. |
Ah, so that was YOU! |
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Sody
Joined: 14 May 2006
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| Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 7:42 am Post subject: |
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Some of the ESL teachers in Asia and especially in Korea are some of the biggest losers you will ever meet. They are total losers in their native countries and they are total losers here. Many are anti-social, can't get good jobs or GFs in NA and many have serious issues and hence they run to another country to try and make things right. I would just try and forget about the incident and move on. No sense stressing over someone like that. Oh and don't let anyone tell you what you did was wrong, you were just trying to be sociable. There is never anything wrong with trying to be friendly. Ignore the anti-social people who have responded in your thread.
Sody |
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stevieg4ever
Joined: 11 Feb 2006
Location: London, England
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| Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 7:48 am Post subject: Re: Why do I even bother?! |
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dont take it to heart. perhaps he was having a bad day or something or is generally just anti social and possibly in a wider sense disfunctional. at least he didnt waste anymore of your time.
but like you i hate people like that. its not like manners or common courtesy cost $�$� or anything (well perhaps it does amongst some people).
| blaseblasphemener wrote: |
So I'm in the English Book store today, around 1:30. It's a pretty small little store, and I'm browsing. This guy is also looking at books and is coming towards my direction. Out of, oh, I don't know, common courtesy>>, and probably against my better judgment, I say, "How's it going?" There's like a 4 second pause from the guy, then, "Good" in a totally disinterested voice. "What school do you work at?" I ask, trying to recover gracefully from being dissed. Another loooong pause. "...... Esl". No return question. "Oh, uhhh, I work at ....., do you know it?" (very well-known in this city). "No." end of conversation. Me holding back from knocking arsewipe out.
So I ask, why do I even bother? Have common social graces slipped sooo far that people can't even muster up the energy to try and be nice? I feel like a *beep* not saying hi to people, and then when I do, most people act like I'm a stalker or something. I just don't get it, but I think that is the last time I will say hi to a stranger. It just seems f@#4ed up to me, modern world, korea, whatever, be-damned. I'm not in Seoul by the way, so seeing a foreigner is still a pretty rare occurance. |
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blaseblasphemener
Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Location: There's a voice, keeps on calling me, down the road, that's where I'll always be
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| Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 8:08 am Post subject: |
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| flint wrote: |
| blaseblasphemener wrote: |
| I don't see where you're going with that pac man. I'm Canadian, and in Canada, people still sometimes say hello to strangers whilst walking in a park, browsing, etc. This guy's rudeness was uncalled for, I felt. I didn't hit him, or tell him off, because he was a putz and those kind of impulses are usually better reserved for fantasy. So, in my imagination, I told him off and pushed him down. Nah nah nah nah nah. |
Ok, the guy ANSWERED your hello in what you say was a disinterested voice. WTF would you keep trying to talk to him? WTF is someone EXPECTED to want to hold a conversation with you? Maybe he just wanted to go in, find a book, buy it, and leave?
Common courtesy was answered by his belated (although is 4 seconds really that long?) "good". "How are you?" 4 second pause "good". Question answered. It doesn't require that a return question is asked. Common courtesy should have told you that since he seemed disinterested maybe YOU shouldn't bother him?
In a way it is kind of funny. It is like the reverse of what happens with Koreans who want to practice their English on any foreigner they see.
Case 1
The lone foreigner, who doesn't live in Seoul sees a potential English speaker. What do they have in common? Well, he is a foreigner and might speak English. Ergo he MUST want to have a conversation with me. So then he approaches the stranger hoping to be able to hold a conversation in English about, well, anything, because he must be starved for the contact.
"How are you?"
4 seconds pass while the guy says do I answer or not. I don't feel like talking right now. Ok answer: "Good." I seemed disinterested, he should get the message and leave me alone.
"What school do you work at?"
Oh jeeze, I don't really feel like talking to this guy. You think he would have gotten the hint. After a long pause <then again 4 seconds was a long pause before wasn't it?> he says: "ESL."
"Oh, uhh I work at BlahBlahBlah do you know it?"
For god's sake is the guy a moron? Can't he see I don't want to talk? Why the hell do people like this expect every other foreigner wants to hold a conversation with them? Should I tell him to F off or just continue to act disinterested? Ok, let's be more polite then saying F off. He says: "No."
It finally starts to clue in to the 1st person that the guy doesn't want to talk, for whatever reason. <Maybe no reason. Maybe his best friend died. Maybe his GF dumped him. Does he really have to give a reason not to want to talk with a stranger?> Instead of realizing he doesn't want to talk the person instead looks indignant and ponders "knocking the arsewipe out."
Just who was the arsewipe here? Guy who didn't want to talk doesn't seem like one.
Case 2
A Korean walks down a packed street and sees a lone foreigner waiting for the light to change. I can barely speak English. He can speak English and probably teaches it. He must want to let me practice my English.
"Hi! Hi! Hi!"
Oh god, the foreigner thinks. Why the F does every Korean who knows two words of English think we want to say hi to them all the time. ok, common courtesy...remember common courtesy. "Hi."
"<Something said quickly in Korean.>"
Foreigner stares blankly at the Don't Walk signal.
"I said where are you from?"
Oh jeeze. I just want to get to the video store, rent a movie and go home. What do i do? How do I get it across that I don't want to talk without being too rude. Act disinterested. "<insert country of choice>"
"How long have you been in Korea?"
The light changes. Thank god! Now I can just walk away.
Korean follows. "Can I have your phone number?"
Foreigner screams in frustration while thinking Thank God WE don't act like this with other foreigners. |
I just said hello as a common courtesy, and a kind hello would have sufficed. I just don't get foreigners here who have this thing about talking to other foreigners. I mean, is it really that hard to hold a 1 minute conversation? Are these people so socially inept that after 25+ years on the planet, and a university degree, it's too difficult to be respectful and actually act courteous? But, as there seem to be a lot of foreigners in Korea who feel this way, I will ablige and not throw my hat in the ring anymore. I just think it's so preposterous that people should act this way; have we really become so detached? |
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blaseblasphemener
Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Location: There's a voice, keeps on calling me, down the road, that's where I'll always be
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| Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 8:11 am Post subject: |
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| Sody wrote: |
Some of the ESL teachers in Asia and especially in Korea are some of the biggest losers you will ever meet. They are total losers in their native countries and they are total losers here. Many are anti-social, can't get good jobs or GFs in NA and many have serious issues and hence they run to another country to try and make things right. I would just try and forget about the incident and move on. No sense stressing over someone like that. Oh and don't let anyone tell you what you did was wrong, you were just trying to be sociable. There is never anything wrong with trying to be friendly. Ignore the anti-social people who have responded in your thread.
Sody |
Thanks Sody, I just sometimes feel like, WTF? |
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stevieg4ever
Joined: 11 Feb 2006
Location: London, England
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| Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 8:13 am Post subject: |
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| Its so easy to feel bad about yourself in these situations but you dont have the problem HE DOES. |
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