Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Manner of Speaking]

After being a few years in Korea -- 4, not many I'll admit -- I've often thought of sitting down and penning an essay on the variety of ways that foreigners seem to see/greet/not greet/pass by other foreigners on the street. In this context I'm speaking especially of (obvious) westerners running into (obvious) other westerners. I took Russian in college, so I look forward to the chance to run into Russians and say hello. Especially the females. I can also remember one occasion when I was waiting at a light with a large crowd of guys from Sri Lanka. I mean a BIG crowd, about 50 guys all out hitting the town at once. One guy came over to me, asked me where I was from, what I was doing here, how long I'd been in Daegu, told me about his job, etc., and he was very cool about it, wished we had gone for a beer together and chewed the fat.

When it comes to westerners running into other westerners, however, I have to admit to a bit of confusion/curiousity/embarassment as to how to react. When westerners see each other, the reaction is rather similar to the excitement your pet dog on a leash experiences when it sees another dog.

At least the dogs are honest enough to admit their interest.

One thing that fascinates me is the variety of ways in which westerners react to each other. I've had reactions that have run the gamut from confused annoyance to outright congratulatory handshaking ("You're a teacher here too! Congratuations, so am I!"). One of my favourite situations is running into a western (usually male) teacher who is out with a whole gaggle of (usually female) college-age students. On these occasions, it can feel as though you've accidentally walked onto a stage while a performance is in progress. ("ANOTHER westerner! where does HE fit in?") Some teachers react with embarassment, as though you've caught them in some kind of sham. Others react with irritation or annoyance; by walking into the room, you've broken the monopoly. For the young, not-so-good-looking-guy teacher type, however, Korea seems to boost to their self-esteem: you see them in the first few months in jeans and baseball cap, one girl on each arm, and a few months later they're in rather stylish black leather jackets a-k-a The Matrix.

One reaction I see a lot, especially with newly-arrived teachers, is the startled/slightly outraged look, followed a split-second afterwards by the stiffened face and the watching you out of the corner of their eye as they pass by. Often seen with new teachers, this seems to be the "what are you doing here, Korea is my turf" look.

Another reaction I see sometimes, with people I assume are teaching at university, is the "don't greet me, don't even look at me" reaction. As you glance at them, they avert their eyes quickly and bend their face fowards, head moving in a slow side-to-side motion. It's as though it was extremely inappropriate for you to even think of greeting them.

There is also, of course, that longtime favorite the straight-line smile. In this reaction, the mouth and lips are stretched in a smile, but kept in a straight line. This is a common reaction in the west also as it is a great face-saver; with this gesture, you may look like you're smiling, but you may also just look like you are thinking about something, in case the smile causes offence.

Most longtime residents of Korea probably have had at least one experience that I describe as The Ambush. The Ambush happens when you are in a PC bang or a bookshop, and a newbie teacher who hasn't seen another western face in 2 months(! OMG!) comes up to you desperate to talk. They immediately want to know all about you and, more importantly, want you to know all about what they've been going through for the past 2, 6, or however many months it's been since they've arrived. I've been fortunate enough that the two times when I've been seriously ambushed were with attractive-enough members of the opposite sex, both from the UK. The aggressive ambusher, however, may immediately start peppering you with questions about how to live in Korea, and may start "downloading" all kinds of useful advice from you in the process of "you being nice" to them. A nice enough experience and a chance to meet new people, but it can feel a bit like being ambushed by a groupie.

[sillywilly]

Do you think people want to say hi to each other but they are too shy? I never say hi to other foreigners unless I know them but I always smile when someone does it to me. Maybe us westerners should have more of a pay it foward kind of attitude.

[Ody1966]

since 1992, this issue annoyed me during my husband's and my frequent visits to Korea. i couldn't fathom why westerners were such snobs!

i have to admit, i think less about this after being here a while. i'm no long timer, but i am settled in now and everyday concerns such as the raising of my child have taken over such misgivings.

in fact, when i am simply otherwise occupied, i think i unintentionally let off some negativity toward other westerners. i hate that when i feel like the snob!

for the most part, my intentional response to fellow westerners is different in different neighborhoods. where i live, i am more inclined to be neighborly. but, since i live in hongdae, i have on occasion caught myself staring some of the youngins down, usually guys that scratch my nerve.

[crazylemongirl]

I do the eyebrow thing... everyone from New Zealand should know what I'm talking about.

CLG

[mack the knife]

i always grab my unit and flash my gang sign when i run into other foreigners...as you can imagine, this gets a little tiresome in itaewon and hongdae...

[Lawrence]

Without question , this would be the most assnine, useless, witless,
insipid "post" I have perused in five years on the board. Is there
absolutely nothing going on in Korea these days?

[chi-chi]

mods you may delete

[Kyrei]

I greet foreigners that I don't know here the same way I would greet someone I don't know at home... do nothing. So many people here talk about how Koreans treat them differently and then comment on how foreigners don't acknowledge foreigners. Which one do you want to be -- separated from the main stream or just another person on the street? People are people, be they Korean, Japanese, American, Canadian, New Zealander, or Martian. If I don't smile like an idiot at every Korean I don't know, why should I smile like an idiot at every foreigner I don't know?

S--t or get off the pot people, which side of the fence are you on? Unkonwn people are unknown people, yet you hate to be singled out as a foreigner by Koreans... why should you feel special being singled out as a foreigner by other foreigners?

Kyrei

[FierceInvalid]

Big ups to Kyrei, hittin the nail on the head. Maybe it's different in smaller, more tight-knit communities, but I live in Seoul and see several foreigners I've never met every day. I'm not going to stop and try and meet all of them just because they come from another country like me.

[Homer]

I do not feel the need to greet every wae guk I see on the street in Korea.
Why should anyone?
If someone greets me I return it, if they need help I will gladly provide it.
But, why greet every single foreigner you see? I wouldn't do that home or anywhere else for that matter.

[The King of Kwangju]

In 1995 you could fit the number of wayguks in KJ in an apt, which we often did. At that time there wasn't much info to be had on Korea - no one used the internet, there were no PC Bangs, and the Lonely Planet was even more useless than it is now.

We used to hear when a new wayguk was coming to town and we met him/her at the airport.

Meeting another wayguk was the only way to get information on anything. I can remember hearing about severance pay for the first time - most of us thought it was a myth. Then we started demanding it and now everyone gets it.

With so many more wayguks in Korea now, and with so many other ways to get information, the old word-of-mouth isn't so neccessary. But old habits die hard and it took a lot of us old timers a little getting used to when we were snubbed on the street.

If you don't feel like saying hello, why should you? But maybe you can see why some people still do. They're happy to see a foreign face and maybe they need a little help or reassurance.

[Cedar]

If I have a few minutes, and I'm in Daegu, and they aren't in a large group (I'm really a sort of one on one person), then I like to tell foreigners about the webpage I made for info about Daegu... It's kind of like in the old days when you word of mouthed info, now i just write it all on a webpage and tell them the address! I usually don't have more than five minutes to talk to them, but Daegu doesn't have the foreigner population that Seoul does!

Sort of a tangent, but does anyone else feel there are WAY more Western men than women here

[gajackson1]

Lawrence ~

A-S-I-N-I-N-E. Spelling counts here, esp. if you are slamming someone else. -2 pts.

That being said, it may have something to do with towns. In Chang-won, there were really only 2 sets of teachers: the religious ones (verrry clique-y and stand-offish), and the 'regular' ones (hak-won & uni).

In C-w and many of the small towns, foreigners are more outgoing & friendly, more likely to greet and respond. Seoul I have found to be almost the opposite - I expected to meet MORE people, but instead got blanked a lot. Grrrrrrrrr . . .

After the adjustment, I still try to catch eye contact, nod, smile, wink, etc. But I don't let the blanks phase me anymore.

Regards,

G.

[Blue Flower]

When I see another Westerner I smile a greeting at them. The only time I have been snubbed, is on the subway, when some western guy gets on with his Korean girlfriend. When he sees me it's like panic stations, and they usually run down to the other end of the train, or get far away from me, like I might try and hit on him or something as if....

And I do this at home as well. I think it is really rude to just sweep by people, if i make proper eye contact as well, then it is a "hello". It's just the way I am.

[sickboy]

Ooohhhh... a foreigner... we have so much in common.... white skin... the foreigness.... wow, friends forever!

I think people who live in Seoul have a much different attitude than those who live elsewhere.