Korean Job Discussion Forums

[bobbyhanlon]

sorry for the long and self-indulgent nature of this post, but i just want to whinge a little and then maybe hear similar experiences of others.
i've been in korea almost three years now and until recently really enjoyed myself. i've made a lot of friends here, some very good ones too, and had a lot of interesting experiences i probably couldn't have had anywhere else in the world.

however, these days i feel i'm hitting a wall. i used to want to make a long-term life for myself here, starting a business, and so on. sadly though, i think i'm beginning to realise that no matter how hard i try, korea is not a club that will let me join. on the surface, korea is welcoming and friendly, but as i become more serious about life, i realise that it is virtually impossible to be 'at home' here. i used to ignore people who told me to go back to my f*cking country, or give me the evil eye on the subway, and so on, but these days it seems to be happening more than before.

i still like korea, but that is changing, and i'd like to ask some of the long-timers on here: what did you do when you felt like this? cut and run? soldier on? take a break? these days i'm saving up for graduate school (leaving next summer) so really i shouldn't change jobs/move anyway, but i don't know if i really want to stick around that long.

as i said i've had a good time up to now, and i'd hate to end up looking back on my korea experience in a negative way. i'm not really interested in having this thread turn into an anti-korea bitchfest either. i think a lot of people on this board revel in hating korea, and i'm not that kind of guy- i just want to hear some other experiences from you old hands about what you did when the rot started to set in for you...

[crazylemongirl]

I'm at 3 and a half years... I'm preparing to leave so am using this time to network so I can land a good job when I go home. I suggest that you look at what your future aspirations are and then look at ways that you can start the ball rolling here in Korea. There are networks here, so why not use your time here to get into contact with people that you might not 'back home'

[Paji eh Wong]

[Yesanman]

After my first three years here (spent in Seoul) I felt the same as you are feeling now. What helped me to cope was moving out of Seoul. I moved to a small town in the countryside and it really helped me to enjoy myself again. Plus I got a car which did wonders too.
The countryside isn't for everyone so my advice would be to try to change your life. Find a way to do something new. Get a new job, new apartment. Shake your life up a bit, you're in a rut.

[the_beaver]

Yep. Over ten years here and I still don't qualify for residency -- I'm still an indentured servant.

Bothers me at times but, on balance, I'm happy here.

[skdragon]

I've been here 11 years in total. After 9 years I went back home to do grad work. Those few years doing grad work led me back here to do field work, and now I'm into year 11 here. Still yet to have the K family want to know about me, they don't even know my name (after 8 years). So I know how it can get. However ... knowing why I am here, and not elsewhere, is something that keeps me going. If you are hitting this wall at not even 3 years, you may not be in the right place, and going back to the grad work will help you to sort some things out as well as work out where you want to be and what you want to do from now on.

[ChopChaeJoe]

I sometimes wish that I were a person who could plan for the future.

But I never could, and my life's arc has been plotted by decisions that I mostly made while imbibed on one thing or another.

Try, try not to fret. This really is not a bad place.

[endofthewor1d]

[JongnoGuru]

Bobbyhanlon, at first I thought this was a "should I stay (indefinitely) or should I go?" thread, and I was gathering a few comments together. But it's not. If I understand your OP correctly, graduate school and your departure next summer are a given. So... all you're really asking is whether or not to stick around in Korea, a place you find yourself liking increasingly less, for the next nine months. I'd say leave now, but you mention that you're saving up for grad school, so I guess economics say stay and work. Okay, you're "hitting a wall" after three years, but so what? You're leaving in nine months, so don't sweat it too much.

BUT, if you were debating whether stay in Korea doing whatever you're doing and liking life less OR go home and earn a graduate degree, of course you do the latter. In fact, you should do that even if you're loving every minute of Korea and didn't want to leave.

[Demophobe]

People talk like they are sentenced to Korea.

[otis]

[ajuma]

Three years is "the wall" for long-timers...just as 9 months is "the wall" for short-timers. It's when you make the decision "Do I stay or do I go?" You may have to try another country for a bit before deciding that you want to stay for the REALLY long term. Whenever I travel (even to my home country!), I feel like I'm "coming home" when I come back to Korea.

I agree with Yesanman. Get out of where you are. Change the part of the country that you're in (north? move south... east? move west). Change the type of school. Haggie? Try PS or uni. PS? Try haggie or uni.

Work a little harder at making Korean friends (church, gym, sports, adult students that you liked, TKD class...whatever!). Foreign friends come and go, but K friends are here for the duration!

[bobbyhanlon]

thanks for all the replies... and i'm happy this didn't become an excuse for the usual posters to come in and indulge in an 'i hate korea' fest.. so three years is some kind of turning point for others too then?
ajuma, actually i'm not a teacher.. i was for my first year here, but now i work for a financial company. sometimes i miss the teaching days though, it was pretty carefree and relaxed, so maybe i should just do that for a while. and i do have plenty of korean friends, so being a 왕따 is not something i worry about
i do like yesanman's idea of getting out into the country. and jongnoguru, and others, thanks too..
anyway, if any others have long-timer stories, i'd love to hear them..

[skdragon]

[bluelake]

In some ways, this is a hard post to answer. I first lived here almost twenty-three years ago, and have lived here continuously for the past eighteen. There were times when I got so frustrated with things here that I wanted to chuck it all and head back to the States; I'm glad my reason won out over my emotion, as Korea is just as much home to me as is my native home.

Probably one of the reasons I've been so fortunate here is because of my wife. She is a gifted, highly-educated lady who doesn't let anyone walk all over her (in a male-oriented society like Korea, that's quite a feat). She set me straight on numerous occasions when it came to Korean culture, thus I avoided many difficult situations I would have otherwise had. She has taken care of all the financial headaches that are part and parcel of the country, so I was able to concentrate more on my job. Also, she has been a great wife and mother.

Another way of keeping your sanity is to find something that interests you in the country. Personally, mine was Korean traditional archery; I joined a club and added many people to my extended "family". A shared hobby can help you become part of the society (at least in a small way). Maybe taekwondo, kumdo, hiking, paduk, etc. might be a place to start.

Everyone's experience is different, so I can only give my personal experience. Good luck with it. Feel free to PM me.