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Smee
Joined: 24 Dec 2004
Location: Jeollanam-do
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 Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:18 pm Post subject: Foreign Wives Add International Flavor to Traditional Fest. |
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Hmm, that's one way to put it.
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Han Mi-na is just like any other Korean wife, busy with the many preparations for Chusok or Korean Thanksgiving holiday. This coming Chusok, Han will dress her two children in traditional hanbok, and help her mother-in-law and other family members prepare the dishes to be served.
Except the 32-year old Han is a Filipino wife married to a Korean, and has adopted a Korean name after gaining citizenship.
In an interview with The Korea Times, Han said she found it difficult at first to adopt the Korean traditions during her first Chusok in 2000. She had just arrived in Korea and she did not know anything about Chusok at all.
``It was hard to learn the ceremonies, and there is a lot of food to be cooked and prepared. But my mother-in-law was willing to teach me. So, after a while, I got used to the preparations such as making the �songpyong�,'' she said.
Chusok or the Korean Thanksgiving holiday is something many Koreans take for granted. But as more and more Koreans marry foreigners, there is an increasing international flavor to the celebrations. According to the Ministry of Justice, there are more than 80,000 foreigners married to Koreans as of this year.
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How does it feel for foreign wives to participate in traditions so unfamiliar to them?
The experiences vary, but most foreign wives are willing to accept these traditions and adopt them as their own.
While most of the traditions are unusual, Han said the ``seongmyo'' or visit to ancestral graves is quite similar to the Filipino tradition of visiting the graves during All Saint�s Day or Nov. 1 in the Philippines.
Also in keeping with tradition, Han said she dresses her two young children in the traditional hanbok during Chusok. ``It is very different from the Philippines, but I�ve learned to adjust to it,'' she said.
On the other hand, Razel Kim, a Filipino wife who lives in Ilsan, said she would like to dress her own children in hanbok, but her husband does not want to. �My family is very simple, they don�t wear the traditional clothes. I wanted to dress my kids in hanbok, but my husband doesn�t like it,� Kim told The Korea Times.
Foreign wives are also amazed at the amount of work involved in preparing the food for the ancestor-memorial service or charye, which is done during the early morning of Chusok day.
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http://times.hankooki.com/lpage/200610/kt2006100318452210220.htm
Ancestor worship is hardly unique to Korea. Nor are Filipino women. |
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periwinkle
Joined: 08 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 4:10 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't think the amount of work involved is any different from the amount of work involved in preparing Thanksgiving dinner back home. What's funny to me is that people talk all the time about how much Korean wives hate to prepare so much food and serve so many people, but I just haven't seen that kind of complaining back home. My mom regularly served Thanksgiving dinner to more than 10 people (as much as 16 or so), and the only thing I ever heard from her was an "I'm tired" at the end of the day. So anyway, Chuseok celebrations may be very different for someone who doesn't celebrate a Thanksgiving holiday in their home country, but if you're used to preparing big dinners like Christmas dinners, New Year's dinners, Easter dinners, Passover, etc., it's not that different. Personally, the strangest thing for me is that I can't bow properly for ancestral rites, and my MIL (and husband) think it's hilarious, wheareas I feel like a gimp.^^ |
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Horangi Munshin
Joined: 06 Apr 2003
Location: Busan
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| Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 4:10 pm Post subject: |
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Ah yes, the annual "Look at us in Korea!!! We have foreigners here! They marry us locals and take part in our holidays."
Gee that's astounding!!!! |
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casey's moon
Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Location: Daejeon
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| Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 5:30 pm Post subject: |
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| periwinkle wrote: |
| I don't think the amount of work involved is any different from the amount of work involved in preparing Thanksgiving dinner back home. What's funny to me is that people talk all the time about how much Korean wives hate to prepare so much food and serve so many people, but I just haven't seen that kind of complaining back home. My mom regularly served Thanksgiving dinner to more than 10 people (as much as 16 or so), and the only thing I ever heard from her was an "I'm tired" at the end of the day. So anyway, Chuseok celebrations may be very different for someone who doesn't celebrate a Thanksgiving holiday in their home country, but if you're used to preparing big dinners like Christmas dinners, New Year's dinners, Easter dinners, Passover, etc., it's not that different. Personally, the strangest thing for me is that I can't bow properly for ancestral rites, and my MIL (and husband) think it's hilarious, wheareas I feel like a gimp.^^ |
I think the reason that many Korean women are unhappy during the holidays is because they (in traditional families, anyway) always have to spend the holidays cooking and cleaning with their in-laws, not their own blood relatives. If they get along great with their in-laws, and particularly the other women, they can have a great time during the holiday -- but if the relationship isn't that good, they just have to work and feel uncomfortable for three days. In Canada, at least, couples usually alternate between spending holidays with each other's families and their own families and occasionally spending holidays by themselves.
I don't much like Thanksgiving or New Year's here because of the cramped quarters with too many drunk, smoking men and only one bathroom for up to 30 people. Not pleasant at all. The women seem to really enjoy spending time together and they're quite good to me, so I don't mind spending time in the (smoke-free) kitchen. My husband usually tries to join me in there as much as possible to get away from the drunk men spewing advice along with soju breath and tobacco smoke. |
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anae
Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: cowtown
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| Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 5:55 pm Post subject: |
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I don't agree that cooking for Chuseok is the same as Thanksgiving. Chuseok takes an entire day or day and a half to prepare and that is three of us working full tilt with the only breaks being those to cook daily meals. I have a back ache after bending over that frying pan for 3 to 4 hours. My SIL in usually covered in sores from the hot oil. Our only reward is 2 or 3 hours of sitting on the floor making songpyeon after we have cooked and cleaned up lunch and dinner. Then it is up at 5 am to get everything ready for the ceremony which we get to watch from the kitchen.
Thanksgiving or Christmas for us is a matter of poping a turkey in the oven, cutting up a few potatoes and turnips. and boiling up some additional vegtables. A couple of other relatives bring salads, another buns, someone else the desserts and volia - dinner for 16 with no major sweat required. For the next meal, bring out the leftovers and help yourself.
Korean women also often complain when they first get married, because it is often open season on the newbie. She can't do anything right and there is a right way to do everything. You didn't wash the apples three times? The peel you cut off the pear is not straight. That piece of kim is bent on one side. Your fried squash is not brown enough. That songpyeon is too ugly so, your daughters will be ugly. No wonder they love getting to leave Chuseok Day to go home to there own families where they are comfortable and their husbands are treated like princes. |
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casey's moon
Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Location: Daejeon
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| Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 6:00 pm Post subject: |
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Anae, you actually made me miss my Korean relatives! I'm too pregnant to go this year and I'm so glad about that, but actually they are very sweet to me... sounds like you have (had -- you're not in Korea anymore, right?) it quite a bit harder than I do! I think that the two aunts who live on the farm do a lot of the preparations before we even get there. Not much is required of me -- although I do tend to at least a few hours of dishes a day. But when the weather is nice, they always encourage me to go with the men and younger cousins to sit by the river or go hiking.
Sounds like you have (had) it rough! |
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anae
Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: cowtown
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| Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 6:52 pm Post subject: |
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casey, no, we aren't in Korea anymore. We went back for Chuseok last year with our daughter who was 9 months at the time. After seeing my exhaustion, my husband said we wouldn't go back for a major holiday for awhile. At least this year I have the legitimate excuse of being too pregnant to fly.
When I first started to come to visit my in-laws before we married, they used to let me go to the market or go with the men. However, we I married, I was one of the family and expected to help out. I even had my FIL shoo me into the kitchen.
Oh well, I wouldn't want MIL to have to do that work all alone either. She is a very sweet woman who had to please three MILs when she was first married. She always praises me for trying so hard. My SIL is a different story. Married to the first son means she gets to tell me what to do. It was her idea that I wash dishes in cold water. I think in her mind it shows a greater sacrifice, and it certainly is in the old farm kitchen in the middle of winter. Hooray no Lunar New Year for me! |
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periwinkle
Joined: 08 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 6:59 pm Post subject: |
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| anae wrote: |
I don't agree that cooking for Chuseok is the same as Thanksgiving. Chuseok takes an entire day or day and a half to prepare and that is three of us working full tilt with the only breaks being those to cook daily meals. I have a back ache after bending over that frying pan for 3 to 4 hours. My SIL in usually covered in sores from the hot oil. Our only reward is 2 or 3 hours of sitting on the floor making songpyeon after we have cooked and cleaned up lunch and dinner. Then it is up at 5 am to get everything ready for the ceremony which we get to watch from the kitchen.
Thanksgiving or Christmas for us is a matter of poping a turkey in the oven, cutting up a few potatoes and turnips. and boiling up some additional vegtables. A couple of other relatives bring salads, another buns, someone else the desserts and volia - dinner for 16 with no major sweat required. For the next meal, bring out the leftovers and help yourself.
Korean women also often complain when they first get married, because it is often open season on the newbie. She can't do anything right and there is a right way to do everything. You didn't wash the apples three times? The peel you cut off the pear is not straight. That piece of kim is bent on one side. Your fried squash is not brown enough. That songpyeon is too ugly so, your daughters will be ugly. No wonder they love getting to leave Chuseok Day to go home to there own families where they are comfortable and their husbands are treated like princes. |
Well, there certainly are shortcuts you can take for either a Thanksgiving or Chuseok celebration. My mom made everything from scratch, and since relatives drove in (or flew in) from too far away, no one brought anything. My mother made:
turkey
stuffing (in the bird- not stove-top)
real mashed potatoes (I can't remember how many bags I've peeled!)
gravy
fresh green beans (almondine)
dinner rolls (from scratch)
green salad
jello salad (blech)
cranberry sauce (ok, easy...)
candied sweet potatoes
pumpkin pie (2 or more)
another veggie (honeyed carrots; creamed corn)
cucumber salad or cole slaw
My MIL makes:
kimchi (pre-made)
dried fish (store-bought)
song pyeon (store-bought)
kalbi jim or bulgogi
vegegetable fritters
sausage with fried egg
radish soup
several side dishes (cucumber; other kinds of kimchi, often pre-made)
chap jae
rice
sliced fruit for dessert
persimmon tea, etc. (pre-made)
Pretty similar workload, in my experience. Actually, my MIL doesn't have to cook for very many people, so her workload isn't as great as my mother's was. I think it depends on the family. I'm just used to hearing people say over and over and over again about how much work Korean wives have, and compared to my own family, it's about equal. That was my main point, and that's the point I make whenever someone points out how rough Korean women have it. My mom had to clean for days, and days afterward, too.  |
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anae
Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: cowtown
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| Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 7:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Perwinkle, I can see from your lists that your mother would come out ahead in terms of workloads. But, I don't think we are talking about the same things. I am not talking about the preparation for the actual meals we are eating. I mean the stuff for the ancestral rites. Cooking for the feeding of the actual members of the family I find is not really different from a large holiday meal and I don't have many complaints about that. |
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billybrobby
Joined: 09 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 7:29 pm Post subject: |
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| anae wrote: |
| It was her idea that I wash dishes in cold water. I think in her mind it shows a greater sacrifice, and it certainly is in the old farm kitchen in the middle of winter. |
that's just a terrible idea. does she like greasy dishes? |
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anae
Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: cowtown
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| Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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| that's just a terrible idea. does she like greasy dishes? |
You must think that frying pans actually get washed. They get wiped out with newspaper. |
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periwinkle
Joined: 08 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 8:41 pm Post subject: |
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| anae wrote: |
| Perwinkle, I can see from your lists that your mother would come out ahead in terms of workloads. But, I don't think we are talking about the same things. I am not talking about the preparation for the actual meals we are eating. I mean the stuff for the ancestral rites. Cooking for the feeding of the actual members of the family I find is not really different from a large holiday meal and I don't have many complaints about that. |
Alot of that is used for ancestral rites- the only difference is that we don't eat all the fruit or dduk with the meal. Anyway, the amt. of food used for ancestral rites depends on the family, I guess. Even I bring stuff that normally wouldn't be presented (I brought a cheesecake and a sweet potato pie last year, plus some other stuff, like candied yams...), but my MIL is pretty liberal, so that goes on the altar, as well. Erm, don 't you guys eat everything that went on the table for ancestral rites, though? That ends up being brunch for us, even though I feel creepy eating leftover ghost food.... Plus, my husband swears the food tastes different because it's been touched by dead ancestors~ |
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casey's moon
Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Location: Daejeon
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| Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 10:00 pm Post subject: |
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Interesting thread! It's funny -- I always feel a bit hard done by because my relatives all expect a lot from me, in terms of adapting to Korean culture and speaking the Korean language. But they are very easy on me in the kitchen. I fight to do my share of the dishes and am more often shooed out of the kichen than into it. I'd just rather be there because I like the women more than the men! But, like I said, they never permit me from going out with my husband for a walk or out fishing/hiking with the men. So I guess I've had it kind of easy. I'm guessing that having an infant will make it even easier for me to shirk my duties for awhile...  |
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Roch
Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:42 pm Post subject: |
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| periwinkle wrote: |
| I don't think the amount of work involved is any different from the amount of work involved in preparing Thanksgiving dinner back home. What's funny to me is that people talk all the time about how much Korean wives hate to prepare so much food and serve so many people, but I just haven't seen that kind of complaining back home. My mom regularly served Thanksgiving dinner to more than 10 people (as much as 16 or so), and the only thing I ever heard from her was an "I'm tired" at the end of the day. So anyway, Chuseok celebrations may be very different for someone who doesn't celebrate a Thanksgiving holiday in their home country, but if you're used to preparing big dinners like Christmas dinners, New Year's dinners, Easter dinners, Passover, etc., it's not that different. Personally, the strangest thing for me is that I can't bow properly for ancestral rites, and my MIL (and husband) think it's hilarious, wheareas I feel like a gimp.^^ |
I have a hunch that you are quite attractive.
Happy Chuseok, Periwinkle! |
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Pyongshin Sangja
Joined: 20 Apr 2003
Location: I love baby!
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| Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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| I have a hunch. |
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