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whatever
Joined: 11 Jun 2006
Location: Korea: More fun than jail.
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 Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 8:38 am Post subject: Bar girl or bartender? |
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Okay, so I like to relax at this bar near my work. It's spacious and well-appointed. It's chill. A mix of people in there...business types, couples and the occasional foreigner. Most of the space is made up of tables where the service is by notification only, as far as I can tell (no staff marinating at the tables).
Here's the thing: I've been invited to move from the couches and whatnot to the bar a couple of times. It was always a bit awkward...as in, I'm just here shootin' the breeze with friends or by myself...but, would you like to move to the bar (a nice longbar)? I've accepted and been welcomed by friendly staff, always proportionate to the number of people I've been with--or haven't been with. My Korean sucks, as I have just been here a few months from Tokyo. We engage in enthusiastic and seemingly friendly broken English conversation. I get the feeling that the discourse is genuine...it's not a busy place, for one, despite being quite nice. It is somewhat evident that they are interested in speaking English with me. I am happy to oblige, given my lack of ability in speaking Korean.
Here's what I don't understand...and may be well-underinformed when it comes to Korean protocol in such situations...do I necessarily need to be buying the staff drinks? Is it expected, or just a nice gesture? Whenever I see them, I observe them drinking tea...I know that they are students. I don't want to be weird, nor do I want to be a cheapskate.
On one hand, I'd like to fit in. But I don't see others always buying them drinks. Sometimes, I have. On the other hand, I don't want them to feel obliged to drink with me if they'd rather not. I respect them enough to make their own choices, but given the circumstances, I'm guessing that they would be out of place to decline me, even if it meant getting tanked.
What's your take on this? I like the staff here and I intend to be a patron into the forseeable future. I'm just not completely accustomed to the norms here with this sort of thing...
Thanks |
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hellofaniceguy
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: On your computer screen!
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| Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:26 pm Post subject: |
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It's all about the money...and how they seperate you from it does not matter. It has nothing to do with you wanting to fitting in!
You are a foreigner and will never fit in. Once your money runs out...see how friendly they are then. Business is business and I am sure your intentions are good....do they same thing that you would back home and leave it at that. |
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SPINOZA
Joined: 10 Jun 2005
Location: $eoul
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| Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 2:45 pm Post subject: |
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What on Earth has the thread title got to do with the waffle in the OP?
Anyway, it's barman and bargirl, definitely.
A barman/girl is no more a 'tender' than a street-sweeper is a 'refuse-disposal operative'. |
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Gwangjuboy
Joined: 08 Jul 2003
Location: England
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| Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:27 pm Post subject: |
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| May I suggest another title for this thread? Maybe something like "bar etiquette in Korea." |
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rawiri
Joined: 01 Jun 2003
Location: Lovely day for a fire drill.
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| Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:38 pm Post subject: |
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I'm kinda in the same position. I live in a smallish area with few waygooks and have on a couple of occasions gone down the street to a local hof where i have become friendly with the two girls who run it. I can chat away in korean and they have a go at english for a bit but i'm kinda wondering what there intentions really are as one of them has rung me a few times late at night asking me to go to her bar and stuff. I would really like to start shagging her actually as she is the total package. Just plain enough for ajosshi's to not want anything to do with her (i think she's fit) she's round my age, has a pleasant demeanour, oh and did i mention RUNS A BAR.
Whats my best plan of attack? |
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bobbyhanlon
Joined: 09 Nov 2003
Location: 서울
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| Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Whats my best plan of attack? |
maybe ask her to meet you somewhere away from the bar. that way you'll find out if she likes you, rather than just your custom. |
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JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
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| Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:31 pm Post subject: |
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| rawiri wrote: |
| I would really like to start shagging her actually as she is the total package. Just plain enough for ajosshi's to not want anything to do with her (i think she's fit) she's round my age, has a pleasant demeanour, oh and did i mention RUNS A BAR. |
(this belongs in "Add your favourite poem", but WTH.)
Today I met the perfect girl,
I could not ask for more.
She's deaf and dumb and oversexed
And owns a liquor store.
That's my un-PC moment for the day.
| Quote: |
| Whats my best plan of attack? |
You seem interested in more than just sex, as you note she's not the type who'd be attracting a lot of worrisome ajosshi attention. I know it would sound dreadfully Korean of me were I to ask why you'd consider having a bargirl as a _girlfriend_, so I won't ask that. Best plan of attack? What bobbyhanlon suggests is sort of a no-brainer, of course. I would say treat her just as you would any girl who doesn't work at a bar, and make a point of not making a point of the fact that she does. Luckily, that comes more naturally to Westerners than it probably does to her Korean male clientele. Oh, and you might also let on that in addition to wanting to shag her, you're also not married. That should be a novel enough twist on the sort of offers she's probably gotten from the other customers.
Odd thread title. |
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tiger fancini
Joined: 21 Mar 2006
Location: Testicles for Eyes
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| Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:37 pm Post subject: |
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| rawiri wrote: |
...one of them has rung me a few times late at night asking me to go to her bar and stuff. I would really like to start shagging her actually as she is the total package. Just plain enough for ajosshi's to not want anything to do with her (i think she's fit) she's round my age, has a pleasant demeanour, oh and did i mention RUNS A BAR.
Whats my best plan of attack? |
Have you been to her bar after she's called you up? It looks to me as though she's into you, and you're into her. I would keep on doing whatever you've been doing and see what happens. Next time she calls and invites you over, get yourself there! |
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JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
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| Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:58 pm Post subject: |
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| tiger fancini wrote: |
| Have you been to her bar after she's called you up? It looks to me as though she's into you, and you're into her. |
It may mean there's some chemistry there, we've no way of knowing just from reading the post. But what we do know beyond any doubt is that bargirls ringing up male customers is very well-established business practise in Korea. |
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rawiri
Joined: 01 Jun 2003
Location: Lovely day for a fire drill.
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| Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 12:30 am Post subject: |
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Oh...well thanks for bursting my bubble jongno, here i was thinking that grabbing one of the guitars she has there and belting out a pretty passable rendition of "dock of the bay" the last time i was there had sealed the deal.
A little perseverance on my part may be whats in order.
And as to the "why would you want to date a bar girl?", well...why would she want to date an english teacher. If it's any consolation, she's part owner with her friend. It is weird though because of the half dozen or so times iv'e been there's never been another chick in the bar other than the two girls that own it.
Last edited by rawiri on Tue Oct 31, 2006 12:33 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Satori
Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Location: Above it all
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| Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 12:32 am Post subject: |
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| Break out the gat bro... |
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JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
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| Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 12:43 am Post subject: |
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| rawiri wrote: |
| Oh...well thanks for bursting my bubble jongno, here i was thinking that grabbing one of the guitars she has there and belting out a pretty passable rendition of "dock of the bay" the last time i was there had sealed the deal. |
No no, I would definitely lay some Otis on her. (That's as in Redding, not the weird sock on Dave's.) You should do that in any case. In fact, have they got a piano? I might come join you for a duet. Hell, forget the piano, I can do the whistle part at the end. C'mon, let me do the whistle part, c'mon, c'mon. |
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whatever
Joined: 11 Jun 2006
Location: Korea: More fun than jail.
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| Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 11:15 am Post subject: |
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Okay, so you have thoroghly and cleverly mocked some of the other posters.
Any thoughts on the original post?
I have yet to get some solid advice...
Thanks! |
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stumptown
Joined: 11 Apr 2005
Location: Paju: Wife beating capital of Korea
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| Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 5:12 pm Post subject: |
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| whatever wrote: |
Okay, so you have thoroghly and cleverly mocked some of the other posters.
Any thoughts on the original post?
I have yet to get some solid advice...
Thanks! |
My bet is that if she would be willing to meet you for coffee on her day off then you've got a pretty good chance. I did that awhile back thinking I had a chance, but she was going to England to study and was a language leech. But, you should be able to figure that out pretty quick. |
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