Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Ya-ta Boy]

It's late Tuesday night here and just about time for the polls to open at home. That means the results aren't in and anything is still possible. Therefore, let's say the Dems do do well and Ms Pelosi becomes the first woman Speaker of the House , third in line for the presidency, in US history.

How should the first meeting between the two go?

(Rules of the thread: Smart-a** remarks are not a sign of thought. If you can�t spend the time writing a dialog, stay home.)

Speaker: Good afternoon, Mr. Lame Du�.President.
Prez: Good afternoon.
S: Now that we have the formalities out of the way, let�s get down to business.
P:
S: You are naturally interested in your legacy (we aren�t talking about how you slithered your way into Harvard.) We�re talking about how you will be remembered in history. We�re willing to make a deal.

Kids a hundred years from now can read your paragraph in the history books and spit on you or they can laugh at you. You get a choice. Lucky you.

Here�s how it is going to go:

a) You can deliver Rummy�s and Chaney�s heads to me on a silver platter tomorrow afternoon or you are toast. Is this clear? There will be no Medals of Honor for them. Forget that crap. We don�t have enough votes in the Senate to convict them, but that is not the point. Your allies did not have the votes to convict Clinton, but that didn�t stop them from wasting time and billions of dollars in humiliating him. You can choose. Give us their heads or we will impeach you just for the entertainment value of seeing you squirm and seeing your name in the history books under �impeachment�. We might even be able to find something embarrassing about your dad when he was CIA director. Who knows? It's not impossible that we find (creatively if necessary) something about Jeb.
b) You somehow managed to gain a name for yourself for bipartisanship as governor of Texas, but somehow lost that ability when you came to Washington. You arrived here and immediately decided to rule by demagoguery. I�m sure that was fun for you. You will apologize this Saturday in your radio address. If you choose not to do so, we will find a way to haul your daughters before the House and ask them what they�ve been doing on their dates. We�ve learned a thing or two from Ann Coulter. Truth is not necessary in these kinds of things. I think you catch my drift.
c) You�ve squandered a huge budget surplus and started a war of choice that has cost $350 billion dollars so far and started a drug prescription program that is one of the most expensive government programs in the history of the republic, while forcing a tax reduction. In your next State of the Union address you will ask for a tax increase to pay for these programs or we will haul Laura before Congress and ask about that dead guy when she was a college student. Yes, we know�but hey, this is just politics. Wink, wink. And there is a rumor of�well, let�s not get too specific about what you and the Rev. were doing in your White House meetings. Boys will be boys. If those don�t work, we�ll dream up some other phony scandal. We ain�t proud.
d) You squandered the good feeling of the world community after 9/11 and insulted the UN. On a cold day in January you are going to fly up to New York, ask the Secretary General to whip you in public as you crawl naked to the UN and ask for forgiveness. No, you say? You would rather see the e-mails of your friends at Haliburton and Enron published on the internet? �I didn�t think so. BTW, I hear there are a few open cells in the federal pen. I don't know how you over-looked 'em.
e) There are a lot of things that need to be done. We are after all the government. (Take a look at the Constitution.) No more of these executive statement thingies. We pass the laws and you execute them. It is a mutual thing, but we are not the w*ores of the GOP you have been working with.

Now, when you are finished licking my high heels we�ll go out and do a �meet and greet� with the media. Please don�t cry. It�s unbecoming of the leader of the free world. It won�t look good in the history books.

Prez: Yes, ma�am. Left high heel or right high heel first?