Korean Job Discussion Forums

[kermo]

I've lived in Korea for about two years. Up until last week, I had steered pretty clear of Korean guys, with the exception of a drunken smooch on my birthday with someone who happened to be born on the same day.

I don't generally see eye-to-eye with Koreans (even the tall ones) in terms of romance. I dislike clinginess, wild declarations, and I'm just not very sentimental. I can't stand romantic movies or even music, whereas I find Koreans to be a little prone to melodrama.

I'm not overly attracted to them either, I confess. I can appreciate their litheness and I've seen some genuinely lovely guys, but no one whose body AND personality made my liver quiver.

Last week, I was greeted by an instructor at my school who had recently started part-time. We didn't talk for long, but exchanged phone numbers, since he had lived in the US for 9 years and seemed pretty cool. He had a solid look to him, which I liked (I prefer not to be the hefty one in the relationship.)

We didn't get off to the best start. He called me before the weekend, but the soonest I could see him was Tuesday. We made a date for then, and he stood me up. A couple hours later, he replied with an apologetic text, saying he had been at the dentist. He didn't suggest another meeting, and I didn't reply.

The next day, I got a bizarre text from him:

i cut maself omg in ma finger. would u help me if you have bandaid?

I replied that I didn't have a bandaid, and asked if he was okay.

He wrote:
i try to be ok. i would be absolutely ok if I see u

Lame and manipulative. I didn't want to encourage him in his pity-ploy, so I wrote "I'm not a doctor (or a dentist) " He didn't reply. I felt I had been harsh (what's wrong with me?), so a couple hours later I suggested that we get some pizza.

Things went pretty much as expected. He offered to hold my purse, was very chivalrous with doors, walking on the traffic side of the side-walk, insisting on paying, etc. Right from the get-go, I tried to explain that I didn't want to consider it a date until we had gotten to know each other a bit. I explained that I wasn't romantic by nature, that I wanted to take things very slowly.

The conversation over pizza was cool. We talked about his experience in the States, and Korean culture v. Western culture, etc. I had another class to teach, so we went back to the school and hung out in my office for a while, looking at photos. There were a few missteps along the way, like attempting the "Your father must have been a thief..." line (and acting genuinely surprised when I knew the rest of that cheesy pick-up,) or remarking frankly on my body (several times) and eyes (at least six times.)

I left the door to my office open, hoping it would inspire him to be discreet, but it didn't exactly work. He tried to engage me in prolonged stares, which just made me laugh, though he kept a straight face and repeatedly said "Look at me, look at me." While outside on a cigarette break, he mused aloud about whether he should give me a kiss (ON CAMPUS? ARE YOU NUTS?) and continued to ask me to touch his hand, or to let him give me a kiss on the cheek. Wrong scenario entirely. I pulled my sweater up to my nose, and firmly declined. He asked "Oh, you really mean 'no', right?" Well, at least he learned something of the mysterious ways of Western Women in his nine years in the States.

I sent him off with a friendly handshake, and figured I'd see him again. I was right. (Seriously, what's wrong with me?)

This afternoon, I got a friendly text from him and to my surprise, encountered him on the way to work. He was having some audio equipment installed in his car.
Him: "This is for you! Do you know why? I'm going to ride you."
Me: "No, you are not."
...
Him: Do you have any schedule today?
Me: Yes, I have a meeting now, and a class tonight.
Him: I have a class this afternoon. When should we meet today?
Me: I don't think we have time.
Him: Don't think so negatively! I can stay here until 10 or 11! (He lives in another city.)
Me: I don't think we should meet today.
Him: Why? Please! Please! You WILL be my girlfriend.
Me: *panicked, walking quickly away from him, calling over my shoulder* That's not slow! I don't like that. No. See you later. Bye.




I think Kermo and Korean men are just not meant to mix.

[Young FRANKenstein]

[ED209]

You work at the same school?
Don't crap on your own doorstep.
I learnt this the hard way, twice!

[matthews_world]

[Ya-ta Boy]

[Troll_Bait]

I think Kermo and this particular Korean man were not meant to mix.
I've met a few American and Canadian women who've married Korean men, but they've all been somewhat exceptional* Korean men.
It's sad that he spent nine years abroad but seems to have learned very little about western customs and even seems to be subscribing to the common stereotype that western women are "easy" (He tried to hold your hand and even kiss you on the first date? It reminds me of an unfortunate experience that one of my co-workers had. A Korean man told her, "American women kiss on the first date." She replied, "No, not all of them. It depends on the woman." He gave a belligerant, "Yes, they do! I know they do! I saw it in 'Basic Instinct'! I know it's true!"). Maybe he didn't have any dates with any western women in all those nine years (because if he had, I think he would have learned very quickly that standing someone up, especially on a first date, pretty much torpedoes any further potential to the relationship).

* e.g. volunteers with the dishes, not clingy or prone to jealousy, etc.

[kermo]

[Troll_Bait]

[kermo]

[Hans Blix]

[CabbageTownRoyals]

Very funny story Kermo, sorry but I laughed all the way through! ^^ Sounds like a Korean guy who called me 'his honey' on our first date.

[kermo]

[Kimchieluver]

Kermo,

What if he said "I am going to ride you like a Harley on a bumpy road!".

Would you be game or would you have declined this man's honest passion for you?

[kermo]

[Son Deureo!]

Sorry to hear the date didn't go so well. Maybe you'll have better luck with the local talent some other time. I know Korean guys have a bad rep, but it was just one date with one guy.