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crazylemongirl
Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...
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 Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 9:04 pm Post subject: Shagging on the first date |
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One thing that has been an education in Korea is this idea of dating. Back home one would 'hook up' which can mean anything from a snog to playing hide the hobbit.
However apparently there are now rules about how many times one must meet before shagging is acceptable.
Why is it that shagg on the first date is unacceptable for a girl and excuse not to call her?
Enlighten me. |
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Big_Bird
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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| Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 9:13 pm Post subject: Re: Shagging on the first date |
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| crazylemongirl wrote: |
Why is it that shagg on the first date is unacceptable for a girl and excuse not to call her?
Enlighten me. |
Is the question for western guys, Korean guys...? |
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Bulsajo
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 9:19 pm Post subject: |
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| CLG, you don't belong in Korea, you belong in the Caymans! |
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nautilus
Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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| Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 9:23 pm Post subject: Re: Shagging on the first date |
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| crazylemongirl wrote: |
Why is it that shagg on the first date is unacceptable for a girl and excuse not to call her?
Enlighten me. |
Waiting for a certain phone call CLG? Haha.
I'll counter your question with: why don't women call, and men have to do absolutely everything?
Enlighten me. |
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Badgie
Joined: 13 Nov 2006
Location: Stuck in idle mode
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| Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 9:24 pm Post subject: |
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It does sort of boggle the mind. Why put so much effort into getting a girl to put out as fast as possible and then get all miss-ish and prude-y when she does er- reciprocate the feeling and happily put out?
It is one thing to have a one night stand and be done with it, but the finger-wagging, old maid like sensibility cause a girl did put out...wtf?  |
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JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
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| Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 9:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Badgie wrote: |
| It does sort of boggle the mind. Why (a) put so much effort into getting a girl to put out as fast as possible and then (b) get all miss-ish and prude-y when she does er- reciprocate the feeling and happily put out? |
I would imagine that (a) and (b) are generally two different sets of men.
| Quote: |
| It is one thing to have a one night stand and be done with it, but the finger-wagging, old maid like sensibility cause a girl did put out...wtf? |
Again, you seem to be assuming that One-Night-Stand Guy and Finger-wagging-Old-Maid Guy are the very same guy.
Anyway, what does any of this matter? Isn't the question directed at Korean men?
| crazylemongirl wrote: |
| One thing that has been an education in Korea is this idea of dating. |
Or maybe it's not. Maybe Korea is a metaphor for the world outside of New Zealand.
Last edited by JongnoGuru on Sun Dec 03, 2006 9:37 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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kermo
Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.
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| Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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I'm peeved by the double-standard too. I've been really surprised about what guys have been saying about girls who sleep with them on the first night... why give us such a hard time, sighing, begging, bargaining, pressuring, etc., if you're going to punish her for it afterwards?
In the interests of full-disclosure, I've never been a first-swing home-run kind of girl, but what's good for the goose should be good for the gander. |
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R-Seoul
Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Location: your place
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| Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 9:38 pm Post subject: |
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I guess the nagging thought at the back of most men's mind is that 'if she put out for me on the first date how many other men has she done the same for?'
Sexist and unfair maybe but that's the way it is... |
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seoulshock
Joined: 12 Jul 2005
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| Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 9:54 pm Post subject: Re: Shagging on the first date |
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| nautilus wrote: |
| crazylemongirl wrote: |
Why is it that shagg on the first date is unacceptable for a girl and excuse not to call her?
Enlighten me. |
Waiting for a certain phone call CLG? Haha.
I'll counter your question with: why don't women call, and men have to do absolutely everything?
Enlighten me. |
Thank you!
BTW -- as for the double standard issue:
I think it's because for a man to get some love, it generally takes a lot of effort --- whereas a woman can get love pretty much anytime she wants. So for a woman it's not as big of a deal if she gets laid.
Test 1: Females, call all your male friends and ask them to come over to sleep with you --- what's the % of male friends that say yes?
Test 2: Males, call all your female friends and ask them to come over to sleep with you --- what's the % of female friends that say yes?
Results for Test 1: Anywhere from 70-100%
Results for Test 2: Anywhere from 0%-10%
That's why men are seen as "pimps" or "players", etc. when they can hook up with many women.
It's like Michael Jordan dunking a basketball (woman getting new sex) and Kim Jong Il jumping off a trampoline and once in a while being able to tap the rim of the basketball hoop (man getting new sex). |
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endofthewor1d
Joined: 01 Apr 2003
Location: the end of the wor1d.
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| Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 10:01 pm Post subject: Re: Shagging on the first date |
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| crazylemongirl wrote: |
Why is it that shagg on the first date is unacceptable for a girl and excuse not to call her?
Enlighten me. |
in my experience a shag on the first date was always the justification to call a girl again. |
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crazylemongirl
Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...
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| Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 10:35 pm Post subject: |
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I have no problem calling a guy again if we've had a great night out. Also I don't mind if someone makes clear that this is a one-night thing,.
But I've heard a number of guys saying they wouldn't date a girl who sleeps with them on the first date. |
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kermo
Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.
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| Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 10:49 pm Post subject: |
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| R-Seoul wrote: |
I guess the nagging thought at the back of most men's mind is that 'if she put out for me on the first date how many other men has she done the same for?'
Sexist and unfair maybe but that's the way it is... |
Can you dig a little deeper here and tell me why it bothers you that she's been with other men? |
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Satori
Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Location: Above it all
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| Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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| I can understand, though not agree with, a guy who would not date a girl who has slept with other people on the first date. But what I find truly bizarre is a guy who will actively try to sleep with a girl on the first date, and then refuse to see her again if he is actually sucessful. That is just nuts... |
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Badgie
Joined: 13 Nov 2006
Location: Stuck in idle mode
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| Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 10:52 pm Post subject: |
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| JongnoGuru wrote: |
I would imagine that (a) and (b) are generally two different sets of men.
Anyway, what does any of this matter? Isn't the question directed at Korean men? |
I think that the OP meant the sort of bloke that would not consider dating a woman that sleeps with them on the first date.
The men that I am talking about are the same man, though, I would say that they qualify as a type (ab) as they are both aggressive enough to go after it and victorian enough to turn into mr. fussy-pants post coitus. Though, after having had this experience, the only thing to do was get the as far away from the emotionally confused person as fast as possible.
I just don't quite understand the "wouldn't date her after I tupped her" as a rule of thumb sort of deal. I have not wanted to date every man that I slept with, however, the decision to "not continue the association" after the action was not usually due to getting some action. |
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nautilus
Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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| Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 11:18 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="crazylemongirl"]
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| I have no problem calling a guy again if we've had a great night out. |
So long as he's already called first?
The dating game is usually so heavily weighted in the females favour that they cannot really imagine what its like to be a guy in the game.
| Quote: |
| But I've heard a number of guys saying they wouldn't date a girl who sleeps with them on the first date. |
To be honest... sex on the first date usually signals just a brief, physical, one-off.
if you wait, it tends to signal a possible relationship.
It should be fairly clear at the start which one is in the offing. |
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