| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
venus
Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Location: Near Seoul
|
 Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 8:46 pm Post subject: Being used |
 |
|
Okay.
Two to three years ago, I used to date Korean girls and they usually were there because they LIKED me. I could tell, the flirting and warmth etc were reciprocal... enough said.
I've noticed over the past ooh, say 12 months that I still get a lot of dates but they don't often go anywhere and I feel the girls are just using me as a kind of 'foriegn friend...' I swear a couple have even used me as a kind of 'escort' or trophy' to take to a social occaision where they have friends they haven't seen for a long time... now I can't prove that, but it's the vibe I get....
Usually these have been girls who have just returned from living for a year or more in a Western country. I feel as though they want to hang out with a foriegner as they feel they still need some kind of link to the experience they just had...
We usually have three dates on average and then they start completely ignoring me or making up 'familly engagements' etc and I never hear from them again...
Well people slag off Itaewon, but at least the girls who go there seem to know what they want when they deign to spend time with a guy...
Anyone else noticed this phenomena or is it just me... could just be an unlucky spell (we all get them - right... ha ha) or maybe I'm going about it wrong...
I must admit the ones where they have been there out of genuine interest were girls I met in Itaewon clubs or from when I used to have an ad in SeoulScene.... I guess Korean girls (the majority anyway) who go to Itaewon or respond to personal ads are more likely to be genuinely looking for a date rather than just using you...
And it's not that I've changed mcuh at all and I have recieved 'affections' from girls from other nationalities recently, so I haven't turned into a total mutt over the course of the last year....
Anyone else experienced this phenomena
 |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul, South Korea
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 9:05 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Maybe the girls going to Itaewon are looking for some sex, and the girls who aren't as quick are the ones who aren't trying to use you. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
venus
Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Location: Near Seoul
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 9:14 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| RACETRAITOR wrote: |
| Maybe the girls going to Itaewon are looking for some sex, and the girls who aren't as quick are the ones who aren't trying to use you. |
Nah seriously. It's no tthat they'r not quick...
Like I said, it's the way it feels. I don't mess it up by coming on too strong or sleazy, actually that's not my style.. Like I said they have usually just spent a lot of time abroad, okay I guess they might be lonely or something, but still... and they go on a couple fo dates and then totally ignore me, make up obviously false excuses etc and I never hear from them again...
And it's not just that they might be sensing that I like them and they just want to be friends, I swear, it's just hang out two or three times and then just totally BLANK ME... that's wierd if you ask me... I feel like they're really keen to meet up the first few times and then it's complete 360... not even any explaination, that's the odd part.... not even a - you're not my type / I don't want to see anyone... etc...
I bet some of them have english tests coming up... a couple definately invited me to places where I felt I was just there for show (okay, I'm no model, but I really FELT like that)
I don't know, cultural difference I guess...
Just that it happend really recently, again, acting like they totally liked me a lot and then total blow out after.... just doesn't seem natural somehow...
Probably I'm just feeling rejected and whiney..... ha ha
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
denistron
Joined: 21 Oct 2006
Location: Busan
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 9:19 pm Post subject: |
|
|
The escort thing, and the english friend thing are totally true by my experiences. I've experienced it. One the second date or so they will reveal they have a boyfriend, or want to travel to Canada. Yes, it's true. you are the equivalent to the gay friend of girls back home.
Similarly, I've been approached by guys who say they want to be my friend so they can practice their English. They say this upfront. Who wants a friend who basically wants to use you for something? I don't get this. But at least the guys were up front about it.
That being said, there are normal girls out there who won't use you just to get an edge over others. But beware that English is a commodity out here. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
jdog2050
Joined: 17 Dec 2006
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 10:22 pm Post subject: Re: Being used |
|
|
| venus wrote: |
Okay.
Two to three years ago, I used to date Korean girls and they usually were there because they LIKED me. I could tell, the flirting and warmth etc were reciprocal... enough said.
I've noticed over the past ooh, say 12 months that I still get a lot of dates but they don't often go anywhere and I feel the girls are just using me as a kind of 'foriegn friend...' I swear a couple have even used me as a kind of 'escort' or trophy' to take to a social occaision where they have friends they haven't seen for a long time... now I can't prove that, but it's the vibe I get....
Usually these have been girls who have just returned from living for a year or more in a Western country. I feel as though they want to hang out with a foriegner as they feel they still need some kind of link to the experience they just had...
We usually have three dates on average and then they start completely ignoring me or making up 'familly engagements' etc and I never hear from them again...
Well people slag off Itaewon, but at least the girls who go there seem to know what they want when they deign to spend time with a guy...
Anyone else noticed this phenomena or is it just me... could just be an unlucky spell (we all get them - right... ha ha) or maybe I'm going about it wrong...
I must admit the ones where they have been there out of genuine interest were girls I met in Itaewon clubs or from when I used to have an ad in SeoulScene.... I guess Korean girls (the majority anyway) who go to Itaewon or respond to personal ads are more likely to be genuinely looking for a date rather than just using you...
And it's not that I've changed mcuh at all and I have recieved 'affections' from girls from other nationalities recently, so I haven't turned into a total mutt over the course of the last year....
Anyone else experienced this phenomena
|
oh ho ho ho! Yep, that's kinda how it is man. I can honestly say that I got used for sex, of all things. A girl chose me to take her virginity...without telling me she was a virgin. After a few times doin' the deed, I got the same response.
K-girls, even the ones who *think* they're enlightened, are still scared to death at the prospect of *actually* dating a foreigner. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
R-Seoul
Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Location: your place
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 10:31 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Maybe you were just crap in bed.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
denistron
Joined: 21 Oct 2006
Location: Busan
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 10:51 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| NARF! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
KumaraKitty
Joined: 09 Jan 2006
Location: Bucheon
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 11:18 pm Post subject: |
|
|
She's just not that into you.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
hellofaniceguy
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: On your computer screen!
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 11:25 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I always figure that no one can use you unless you let them.
Unless these K gals are professional users?! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Letiz7
Joined: 29 Jan 2007
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 11:26 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I was kinda seeing a student nurse here in Bangkok.
She was usually pretty timid in bed, and then one night she did all manner of naughty things to me...!
And then she asked me to proof-read her thesis. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
R-Seoul
Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Location: your place
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 11:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Did you do it? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
ChuckECheese
Joined: 20 Jul 2006
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 11:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Letiz7 wrote: |
I was kinda seeing a student nurse here in Bangkok.
She was usually pretty timid in bed, and then one night she did all manner of naughty things to me...!
And then she asked me to proof-read her thesis. |
Nothing is free my man.... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
nautilus
Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
|
| Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 12:44 am Post subject: Re: Being used |
|
|
| jdog2050 wrote: |
| scared to death at the prospect of *actually* dating a foreigner. |
Some are. Plenty aren't.
in any case, I've noticed a similar racism back in the west. When you're back in your hometown did you ever date Mexicans or Chinese people that were in your country on holiday for a year?
thought not. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Corky
Joined: 06 Jan 2004
|
| Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:19 am Post subject: |
|
|
In my hometown we had the ELP: English Language Programme, aka English Lay Programme. There were women from all over the world at this place. It was heaven. Lots of people dated the ELP folks.
The Korean girls used to piss off the Korean boys so much whenever the ELPers would go out. It was common to see a bunch of K-girls dancing and flirting with "foreigners", and off on the side would be a table of K-boys all pissed off, not mixing at all with the others. I remember wondering why they were so pissed off as if they were jealous, since half the time they didn't even know the other women at all. Then I moved here and now it all makes sense. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Letiz7
Joined: 29 Jan 2007
|
| Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:50 am Post subject: |
|
|
Course I did it.
She ***** my ***** and ****** my *****.
(Loads of errors - I had to 'punish' her!! LOL!!) |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
