Korean Job Discussion Forums

Pateach · Joined: 11 May 2006

I love the excitement and spontanaeity of life here, but holiday calls from lifelong friends have me wondering if friendships among wanderers can lack depth. Do expat frienships seem slightly superficial at times?

djsmnc · Joined: 20 Jan 2003 Location: Dave's ESL Cafe

You sound so shallow

jennateacher · Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 4:51 pm Post subject:

depends on the people I think

I have 3 friends from living in Ecuador. We went through political problems, personal problems, illnesses, boyfriends, we worked together, traveled together, took each other to the hospital, we celebrated the holidays together. They are still my good friends.

We all left Ecuador and returned to Canada and the US several years ago. Two live in Chicago, one in Toronto, and I live in Seattle. We still got to gether at least once a year. Since I moved to korea, they still get together. I know we will be friends forever.

kangnam mafioso · Joined: 27 Jan 2003 Location: Teheranno

i think as you get older and venture onto different paths, you'll find that a lot of those childhood "lifelong" friendships can begin to fade as well. the only certainty in life is uncertainty.

just because · Joined: 01 Aug 2003 Location: Changwon - 4964

Friendships in life come and go...most friends you make won't be long term ones but ones that just add to the experience of your lie.

I enjoy making friends when i travel, while I know they won't last forever they are no less enjoyable

Dev · Joined: 18 Apr 2006

Most people are too busy to invest in a real friendship so real ones are hard to come by. Just accept their kindness and go with the flow.

I think real friendships are not unlike romantic love relationships. They're just dumb luck - being at the right place at the right time meeting the right people.

On the topic of people using you, I'd say that it's not a crime if a Korean is hanging out with you just to improve his / her English so long as you enjoy his / her company. Some friendships are simply about having a good time.

nautilus · Joined: 26 Nov 2005 Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!

Most friendships in kor are very superficial. With koreans too.

Its sad...

But thats the only option so you may as well get into it.

Unfortunately I think "best friends/loyal friends" is a childhood thing. Something you grow out of.

blynch · Joined: 25 Oct 2006 Location: UCLA

OiGirl · Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Location: Hoke-y-gun

The real friendships are the ones that last over the years, through hardships and moves from one continent to another. Strangely enough, the friends I've met in Korea and other places tend to congregate in similar geographic locations every few years.

Mashimaro · Joined: 31 Jan 2003 Location: location, location

One advantage of speaking Korean is that at least you can filter out the Koreans who only want to be 'friends' with you to learn English.

jennateacher · Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 3:58 am Post subject:

blynch-sorry you think so little of my friends.

We would go to Chicago each summer for a big party and usualy spend a few days together. Two flew out to see me in Seattle before I moved here. They send me email updates on their lives now. The two in Chicago are now sharing an apartment, the one in Toronto comes to visit a few times a year.

My first year, three of us met up in India.

You can call it corny. I will enjoy my friends.

crazylemongirl · Joined: 23 Mar 2003 Location: almost there...

I think a lot of long-term friendships back home are more about location and commonality than any real connection, so being overseas definitely makes you more aware that many friendships in your life are purely transitory. On the other hand, I've met a handful of people that I've really clicked with and I know are in it for the long-term.

So friendships in Korea are a bit of a mixed-bag. You'll probably make a lot of superficial friendships, but you'll also probably make some life-long friendships with people right out of your comfort zone that will enrich your life forever.

europe2seoul · Joined: 12 Sep 2005 Location: Seoul, Korea

It seems "friendships" here are based only on benefit like in most countries. The moment you move from some group (club, job, etc.) relations should not be maintaed any further. The problem is that in Korean we have to be something thus people say we are friends, but actually we are not.
Even worse are "girlfriends" where you get emotionally attached, until....

bejarano-korea · Joined: 13 Dec 2006

Most friendships are forged at work and later on
in the pub 'errgh yer my best mayteeeeeeeeeeeeeee'
and in the more sober moments when there is someone to talk to
or to share a laugh with. when you are young
you think the friendship lasts forever.

As a soldier these friendships were common, then a posting would
come up and you would be off to the Falkland Islands and the letters
and phone calls (nowadays emails) would stop.

People move on, the friendships or usefulness of them just
erode with time. I accept this as the way it is. It doesn't mean they
won't think of you sometimes with fondness but once one of the
friends moves away, so does the friendship on a practical level.

The secret is never get too hung up about it and when you are having
that farwell drink and the promises of 'let's keep in touch' abound
just smile and look forward.

princess · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: soul of Asia

Most people out there just plain suck. I'd venture a guess and say that most of us only have a few "true" friends. And by that, I mean "really true" friends. We all have MANY superficial friendships. That is why I just removed a bunch of folks from my cyworld ilchon list. They are dumbasses. They never meet me and I always speak to them first. So, bye bye from my list they went. I walked around crying in the subway station today because I felt so lonely today. Most of my so-called friends are always too busy to meet me. I spend alot of time alone.