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| Can you ever really go back? |
| Yes, but it takes a period of adjustment. |
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22% |
[ 4 ] |
| Yes, but it will never be the same. |
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55% |
[ 10 ] |
| No, stay here or go somewhere else. |
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22% |
[ 4 ] |
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| Total Votes : 18 |
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Grimalkin
Joined: 22 May 2005
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 Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 2:25 am Post subject: Can you ever really go back? |
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I've just returned to Seoul after a four week vacation at home and I've four months left on my current contract. Originally my plan was just to come here for one year but I had such a good time (apart from some initial teething problems) that I re-signed for a second year.
So here's the thing. Much as I enjoyed being at home (and Christmas is my favourite time of year) the whole time I was there I had a strange feeling of......disconnection? Everything was the same but yet it felt somehow different 
Now I'm being to wonder is it possible to go back and take up my old life from where I left off. Will it just require a period of adjustment?
Any others here facing the same thing...what are your thoughts?
Have any of you any experience of this? Is it really possible to go back? |
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Rteacher
Joined: 23 May 2005
Location: Western MA, USA
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| Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 2:44 am Post subject: |
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| I'm beginning to think that my karma is to stay in Korea for a significant period of time. It might have something to do with the fact that I was conceived shortly before the Korean war, and I vaguely remember playing with toy soldiers with friends while the war was still going on - at around age 4... |
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Novernae
Joined: 02 Mar 2005
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| Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 3:31 am Post subject: Re: Can you ever really go back? |
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| Grimalkin wrote: |
I've just returned to Seoul after a four week vacation at home and I've four months left on my current contract. Originally my plan was just to come here for one year but I had such a good time (apart from some initial teething problems) that I re-signed for a second year.
So here's the thing. Much as I enjoyed being at home (and Christmas is my favourite time of year) the whole time I was there I had a strange feeling of......disconnection? Everything was the same but yet it felt somehow different
Now I'm being to wonder is it possible to go back and take up my old life from where I left off. Will it just require a period of adjustment?
Any others here facing the same thing...what are your thoughts?
Have any of you any experience of this? Is it really possible to go back? |
I don't think it's possible to simply go back and pick up where you left off, but I don't think that's a bad thing. It also doesn't mean that you can't start a new life at home. You have grown and changed and the people you know at home have grown and changed, probably in very different ways. It will never be the same, but that doesn't mean that it will never be good. If you want to go back you will have to carve yourself out a different life there, much like you have done here, but don't have the illusion of going back to life the way it was (which you wouldn't be happy with anyway). Take what you have learned about yourself, accept the changes and the limitations and new openings they give you and use all of that to continue living the life you want, wherever you want. |
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Xerxes
Joined: 10 Jan 2006
Location: Down a certain (rabbit) hole, apparently
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| Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 4:10 am Post subject: |
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| Whether you can go back, I do not know, but not many choices in the poll! How about "Yes, definitely! With no problemsf." |
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rawiri
Joined: 01 Jun 2003
Location: Lovely day for a fire drill.
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| Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 5:03 am Post subject: |
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| Of course you bloody can, unless you mean in some artsy fartsy existensial sense. Most people come for a year, hoard their cash and leave. If you come here, and after not even a year, return home to find that things have changed so much that you don't fit in then you obviously didn't to start with. If i had the cash i'd be outta this dump tommorrow. |
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three-legged dog
Joined: 28 Dec 2006
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| Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 6:06 am Post subject: |
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| rawiri wrote: |
| Of course you bloody can, unless you mean in some artsy fartsy existensial sense. Most people come for a year, hoard their cash and leave. If you come here, and after not even a year, return home to find that things have changed so much that you don't fit in then you obviously didn't to start with. If i had the cash i'd be outta this dump tommorrow. |
Something tells me you have touble fitting in most places. |
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rawiri
Joined: 01 Jun 2003
Location: Lovely day for a fire drill.
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| Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 6:22 am Post subject: |
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| Really, well your spidey senses have messed up this time buddy, or is that your gaydar gone on the blink again? |
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three-legged dog
Joined: 28 Dec 2006
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| Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 7:17 am Post subject: |
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| rawiri wrote: |
| Really, well your spidey senses have messed up this time buddy, or is that your gaydar gone on the blink again? |
Yes...awkward communications skills indeed. Well, no worries--people have surmounted higher obstacles. Best of luck! |
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Norm
Joined: 15 Jun 2004
Location: Life. Be in it.
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| Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 7:34 am Post subject: |
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| rawiri wrote: |
| Of course you bloody can, unless you mean in some artsy fartsy existensial sense. Most people come for a year, hoard their cash and leave. If you come here, and after not even a year, return home to find that things have changed so much that you don't fit in then you obviously didn't to start with. |
That sounds entirely reasonable, rawiri. If one was so fixed on life remaining undisturbed, why would one upset the pattern in the first place?
| Quote: |
| If i had the cash i'd be outta this dump tommorrow. |
Just out of interest, how many years have you been saying that now? |
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TECO
Joined: 20 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 7:40 am Post subject: |
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The longer you stay on the planet Asia, the less likley you'll be able to (or want to?) go back.
For many long-timers, it seems to get harder and harder with the passing of each year. |
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Kimchi Cowboy
Joined: 17 Sep 2006
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| Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 7:52 am Post subject: |
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| TECO wrote: |
The longer you stay on the planet Asia, the less likley you'll be able to (or want to?) go back.
For many long-timers, it seems to get harder and harder with the passing of each year. |
Bingo. 7 years overseas and counting... everytime I go back home it feels good for a while, then I start taking a hard look around and wonder if I really want to come back at all... |
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Grimalkin
Joined: 22 May 2005
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| Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 8:18 am Post subject: Re: Can you ever really go back? |
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| Novernae wrote: |
| Grimalkin wrote: |
I've just returned to Seoul after a four week vacation at home and I've four months left on my current contract. Originally my plan was just to come here for one year but I had such a good time (apart from some initial teething problems) that I re-signed for a second year.
So here's the thing. Much as I enjoyed being at home (and Christmas is my favourite time of year) the whole time I was there I had a strange feeling of......disconnection? Everything was the same but yet it felt somehow different
Now I'm being to wonder is it possible to go back and take up my old life from where I left off. Will it just require a period of adjustment?
Any others here facing the same thing...what are your thoughts?
Have any of you any experience of this? Is it really possible to go back? |
I don't think it's possible to simply go back and pick up where you left off, but I don't think that's a bad thing. It also doesn't mean that you can't start a new life at home. You have grown and changed and the people you know at home have grown and changed, probably in very different ways. It will never be the same, but that doesn't mean that it will never be good. If you want to go back you will have to carve yourself out a different life there, much like you have done here, but don't have the illusion of going back to life the way it was (which you wouldn't be happy with anyway). Take what you have learned about yourself, accept the changes and the limitations and new openings they give you and use all of that to continue living the life you want, wherever you want. |
Nice one Noverne! Your post is very deep and very encouraging. 
Apologies Xerxes you're right I should have included that option.
rawiri
| Quote: |
| If you come here, and after not even a year, return home to find that things have changed so much that you don't fit in then you obviously didn't to start with. |
Actually by the time my contract finishes I'll have been here two years. Have you been home much on vacation? Did you notice any changes there or in yourself? When you say you'd be 'outta this dump' do you mean you'd go home or you just want to go anywhere else no matter where it is?
TECO
| Quote: |
| For many long-timers, it seems to get harder and harder with the passing of each year. |
Is this because they've put down roots here? I don't think I've done that yet myself.
Kimchi Cowboy
| Quote: |
everytime I go back home it feels good for a while, then I start taking a hard look around and wonder if I really want to come back at all...
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That seems to be what I was experiencing. What is it you see at home that makes you wonder if you really want to go back? |
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rawiri
Joined: 01 Jun 2003
Location: Lovely day for a fire drill.
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| Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 6:19 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="three-legged dog"][quote="rawiri"]Really, well your spidey senses have messed up this time buddy, or is that your gaydar gone on the blink again?[/quote]
Yes...awkward communications skills indeed. Well, no worries--people have surmounted higher obstacles. Best of luck![/quote]
Hey el socko, go get a big black three legged dog up ya. I love the way certain posters feel the need to hide through multiple online personalities, really shows them for what they are, i.e Twats. |
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three-legged dog
Joined: 28 Dec 2006
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| Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 6:23 pm Post subject: |
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| rawiri wrote: |
| three-legged dog wrote: |
| rawiri wrote: |
| Really, well your spidey senses have messed up this time buddy, or is that your gaydar gone on the blink again? |
Yes...awkward communications skills indeed. Well, no worries--people have surmounted higher obstacles. Best of luck! |
Hey el socko, go get a big black three legged dog up ya. I love the way certain posters feel the need to hide through multiple online personalities, really shows them for what they are, i.e Twats. |
I tell you Sir, I am not a sock.
And watch your mouth before I get out the soap. Tut-tut. |
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Atavistic
Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.
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| Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 10:48 pm Post subject: |
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If you go home and find that you fit in exactly the same as you did before you came here...well, it seems to me that you've just turned into a stagnant person with a stagnant personality. Congratulations!!  |
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