Korean Job Discussion Forums

dimnd · Joined: 19 May 2005 Location: Western USA

new to Korea...trying to adjust..the overwhelming feeling of loneliness..

does anyone experience this...I am trying to stay busy...will be doing a month winter camp..will absorb some time..but...as a female..I find it hard to adjust to the ..time..completely alone..does not mean one has to be smothered..but someone to go shop with...see sights...making acquaintances that like to get out and about...not talking about drinking buddies..but...going to the ceramic factory..the fabric place ...different places..movies..., etc.

tried to get responses to actually meet for a writers group...anyone in Incheon for January..would love to get together to discuss any writing one has done..and wants feedback...

peg

aldershot · Joined: 17 Jul 2006

chin up, dimnd. you'll get over this. the holiday season coupled with loneliness is not a very gastronomic recipe. keep yourself busy, certainly. learn korean, meet some koreans. you'll combat the loneliness until its good and gone.

oh. and start to drink soju. twice a week. mondays and fridays. that leaves tuesdays and saturdays for hangovers, so you've really only got three days to fill.

europe2seoul · Joined: 12 Sep 2005 Location: Seoul, Korea

Find a boyfriend - either foreigner or korean - and it will fill up your time. Always a win-win situation. For example, I constantly date...

Darl · Joined: 15 Jun 2005 Location: Incheon

Being lonely is a drag. Nothing, or almost nothing is worse. As a result, some people drink too much, or eat too much, or keep lots of cats in their house. I think when I first got to Korea, I didn't have many friends, and taking a long walk made me feel pretty good, and it made me feel really good if I was drunk while doing it. If you don't drink, then go sightseeing. Lots of cool stuff to see, and it will keep your mind off of the solitude trip.

I would share my writing with you, but I fear that would only make you worse.

jaderedux · Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Location: Lurking outside Seoul

I like being alone. The problem (imho)is people fill their lives with meaningless activity and people. Being alone is not the end of the world. Learn to embrace it. Learn to be with yourself. Why is it that we all feel there is something wrong with us because we are alone.

It is good to be alone and even lonely sometimes. It helps us appreciate our friends or lovers and sometimes even ourselves.

Jade

europe2seoul · Joined: 12 Sep 2005 Location: Seoul, Korea

Dev · Joined: 18 Apr 2006

It's very easy to get lonely in this country because almost no Koreans will speak English to you.

So, you have to learn Korean fast or find some foreign friends to hang out with.

Or do what my friend does, teach lots of privates. Cool

dimnd · Joined: 19 May 2005 Location: Western USA

rawiri · Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Location: Lovely day for a fire drill.

I would talk to someone if i were you, xmas can be an absolute shitter of a time for a lot of people. I've learnt to cope with being alone a lot, it doesn't bother me as much as it use to. People are generally pricks anyway so at the end of the day we only really have ourselves to fall back on.

Dev · Joined: 18 Apr 2006

Best thing to do is find a social club in your area or join a health club. Whatever you do, don't stay in your apartment. You didn't come to Korea to do that did you?

I always seem to get a couple of new friends every time I join a health club. Other members are curious about you and often invite you out for dinner.

Or travel in Korea. There are so many tours in English like the DMZ Tour put on by the USO. It's excellent. I have been on it. http://www.uso.org/Korea/default.cfm?contentid=103

Other people seem to like Adventure Korea. Groups of foreigners and Koreans travel together. www.adventurekorea.com

dimnd · Joined: 19 May 2005 Location: Western USA

oneofthesarahs · Joined: 05 Nov 2006 Location: Sacheon City

Junior · Joined: 18 Nov 2005 Location: the eye

i'm usually alone, but rarely lonely.
Sometimes an a s sh o le=no mates.
I have a very different background to most. I feel it separates me from other people.
Can be very sociable, but generally v. independent and a bit of a loner.
However I really enjoy solitude and reflection. I also have some real interests and hobbies that take up time.

I have friends but I tend to go through phases of neglecting them badly, if I want to do other stuff. Then, they're not around when i need them.

i discovered a while ago that most foreigner friends here are temporary and mercenary, so i got tired of them.. the endless turnover of 1-year newbies doesn't interest me much either. Humbug.

i have some good korean friends..although I do slam them and their nation. oh dear.
i'm a believer but have never been to church in korea.

I guess i should go on a big diplomacy drive next year. Could be a resolution for 2007.

SuperHero · Joined: 10 Dec 2003 Location: Superhero Hideout

peppero · Joined: 16 Nov 2005

I've felt lonely too, though I have many friends in Korea. Loneliness is sometimes a state of mind, rather than a lack of people to meet or things to do.

I feel for your situation. It must be truly difficult to get over. I won't patronize you by saying I understand how you feel, since I don't think I could, but I sympathize.

I think talking to a good friend would help, but if you're new here that would mean calling home, which would mean missing home...

The other pieces of advice given were actually quite good, so I really don't know what else to add. Perhaps you can try to learn something new? Like take Korean classes formally? That may give you a sense of purpose, plus it may introduce you to other potential friends. In Korea, it's all about your friendship circles after all.

Good luck. I wish you all the best.