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Hyalucent

Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: British North America
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 12:31 pm Post subject: Wedding rings: traditions |
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Okay folks. Please help me out. I'm completely flustered here because there seems to be no agreement on wedding ring traditions that I can find.
Engagement rings: Left hand or right hand? Separate from the wedding ring, same as the wedding ring, or used as the wedding ring but supplemented with a band?
I always believed the two were separate rings. The engagement ring was worn on the right hand until the wedding ceremony and then replaced with a different wedding ring to be worn on the left hand after the marriage.
Am I wrong? Everyone seems to have a different opinion. I'd appreciate if you folks could tell me what you know, especially the married people here. What did you do? |
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trinity24651

Joined: 05 Nov 2006
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 12:38 pm Post subject: |
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| In my neck of the woods, the engagement ring is worn on the left hand. The wedding ring is added to the left hand. They are worn on the left hand because it is closest to the heart. |
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Hyalucent

Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: British North America
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 12:40 pm Post subject: |
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| So two distinct rings worn at the same time after marriage? |
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Qinella
Joined: 25 Feb 2005 Location: the crib
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 12:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Hyalucent wrote: |
| So two distinct rings worn at the same time after marriage? |
No, you buy them as a pair. The engagement ring should fit into the wedding ring to make a larger, more elegant ring after the marriage. Left hand.
Make sure you did like my friends did and buy your rings out of a 25-cent gumball machine. |
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trinity24651

Joined: 05 Nov 2006
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 12:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Getting ready to pop the question/have the question popped to you? (Don't know your gender!!) |
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mole

Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Location: Act III
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 4:06 pm Post subject: |
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We just wore "couple rings" until wedding day.
And wear custom platinum rings now. |
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Hyalucent

Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: British North America
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 4:38 pm Post subject: |
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| trinity24651 wrote: |
| Getting ready to pop the question/have the question popped to you? (Don't know your gender!!) |
[Me=guy, she=girl]
Did so Sunday night. We'd been discussing it for a while and New Year's Eve was the sixth anniversary of us meeting... so... she said "yes".
However, I guess I've messed up the tradition a bit. I got her a small diamond ring for the engagement ring and we'd planned for me to shell out bigger bucks on a more permanent wedding ring for the ceremony and thereafter. I didn't know that they're basically one in the same.
Wondering if I shouldn't just get the big ring now and switch 'em.
In my defence, I've never been married before.  |
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trinity24651

Joined: 05 Nov 2006
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 5:00 pm Post subject: |
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Congratulations!!!
They do not have to be done at the same time. Keep the engagement ring that you gave her (or rather she should keep it!!)! The two of you can pick out matching wedding rings. That will mean a lot too. |
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happygirl

Joined: 20 Feb 2006
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 5:01 pm Post subject: |
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Congratulations!!
Wedding rings and their style is such a personal thing. I'm sure that she is totally thrilled with the ring you gave her. It's what the ring represents that is significant. She is now presented to others as the woman you choose to spend the rest of your life with. |
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europe2seoul
Joined: 12 Sep 2005 Location: Seoul, Korea
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:18 pm Post subject: |
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Luckily in my culture there is no engagement ring. You propose or discuss and then you announce and get married. And wear wedding ring.
I personally feel uncomfortable with this popping the question with some ring like hollywood portrays should be done. |
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jmbran11
Joined: 19 Jan 2006 Location: U.S.
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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I chose to have no engagement ring (waste of money), and I wear a wedding ring that we chose together on my left hand.
Your girl shouldn't care about the ring. Only the marriage matters. |
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i_teach_esl

Joined: 07 Sep 2006 Location: baebang, asan/cheonan
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Hyalucent wrote: |
| However, I guess I've messed up the tradition a bit. I got her a small diamond ring for the engagement ring and we'd planned for me to shell out bigger bucks on a more permanent wedding ring for the ceremony and thereafter... Wondering if I shouldn't just get the big ring now and switch 'em. |
nah, youre alright. in my neck of the woods, the engagement ring is worn on the left hand, usually small-ish diamond, and then a more elaborate snazzy ring is worn on top of that, placed upon her finger on the wedding day. |
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SeoulShakin

Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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Well I worked for a large jewelry store in Canada, so here's what I can tell you.
Engagement rings are two separate rings. You get an engagement ring first, which you wear on your left hand. This is usually a diamond ring, and is worn on the left because it's a ring that symbolizes marriage will come.
When you get married, the band goes on the left hand as well, on the same finger. The wedding band goes on first, then the engagement ring after. Usually you try to get a wedding band that will fit in with the engagement ring (as in line up properly - it's uncomfortable to wear two rings on one finger that don't line up - it feels awkward).
Some people don't bother with engagement rings because they think they are too expensive. This isn't "traditional", so much as it is personal taste. Traditionally the man and woman get matching bands as well, but this is also changing. If the man and woman have different tastes (ie - white gold or yellow gold, or different styles) it's not as important to be exactly the same anymore.
But if you are looking for "traditional" ideals - diamond ring on left hand, wedding band to go with on left hand as well. During the CEREMONY the woman usually TEMPORARILY puts the engagement ring on her right hand to allow the wedding band to go on first, then the engagement ring goes on to "secure" it.
That's that.
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Moldy Rutabaga

Joined: 01 Jul 2003 Location: Ansan, Korea
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:56 pm Post subject: |
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My wife's engagement ring does not fit with her wedding ring at all, but she sometimes wears it out of sentiment. I wear my ring on my right hand because I'm a lefty and it's more comfortable, but I get so many, many questions from my students about why it's on the 'wrong' hand.
Ken:> |
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Hyalucent

Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: British North America
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 7:26 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks very much, everyone. I never thought to double check on my understanding of the thing beforehand. It's not really until after she got the ring that people said, "Oh nice, but why are you wearing it on your right hand, etc." So that's when I got searching the internet sites and finding lots of different opinions.
Getting married wasn't a big secret beforehand and we agreed on doing the rings this way so she's good with it. I wasn't really surprising her with the proposal. The time was just right. I spent a few years in her country and now she's spent a couple years in mine. It's safe to make that final step now. Took her out for a nice sushi dinner and presented her ring for dessert.
So we're shopping together for a much nicer ring as the wedding ring and will likely retire this one at that time. Keeping an eye open for a little plot of land to settle, too. This 2007 is gonna be a big year.
Thanks again for the opinions and advice. I know I can count on you folks here at the cafe to offer good solid help.  |
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